[swaghauler]

1). Numerous scuffles just like every other LE officer here.
2). A beer bottle to the head, and a pool cue to the back; Both while bar bouncing during my college years.
3). A welcome to the sh**storm mortaring on my first night in country during Restore Hope (we were initially housed near Circle 4 North in the University district).
4). A skinny took pot shots at me with an AK on the road outside of Kismayo and I tried to run him down. He ran into a house and I ripped off the awning (tarp on poles) in front of his house. He cracked the window on my uparmored HEMMTT and my passenger side front tire had a bullet hole in it but the CTIS got me home.
5). Got impaled through my right hand (palm to back of wrist) by a thug with a glass shank during a fight while I was working security at dance at Peabody High School in Pittsburgh. The School Police caught him for me.
6). Got my left thumb and middle finger slashed by a shoplifter I was trying to arrest in Warren OH. He tried to stab me in the stomach with a butterfly knife and I caught it. I was very proud of myself for about 2 seconds until he pulled it back and cut the tendon in my thumb and took the top off of my middle finger. I just stood there holding my thumb as he ran off with two cartons of Newports.
7). Got slashed across my left rib cage by a shoplifter with a box cutter in Shadyside (PGH, PA). I didn't even know I was cut or that he had a box cutter until he tried to slash my throat. It was icy and I had hyper-extended his arm to disarm him when we fell on the ice. His arm got broken and that ended the fight (the Pittsburgh cop showing up didn't hurt either). It took 46 stitches to close my wound and I got a written reprimand from the security company I was working for. The perp sued us for his broken arm and my supervisor reprimanded me for costing the company money (it was cheaper to pay the perp's medical bills than fight the suit).
8). Got beaten by 4 gangbangers (Crips) in East Liberty (PGH, PA) trying to stop what I thought were 2 gangsters stealing meat. They opened the festivities with a thrown brick to the head. They followed that brick with a good old fashioned "Pittsburgh Street Beating." 17 days in the ICU and 45 days in the hospital convinced me to stop doing retail theft for a living. They gave me 51 broken bones and a very bad attitude from then on.
9). Got stabbed in the back helping a Vernon Township officer in a fight at a local restaurant. My partner and I were coming back from a prisoner transport and stopped to eat. A fight broke out and when we jumped into help, a drunk then stabbed me with a steak knife. It didn't penetrate the stab guard in my RBR vest (bent right over) but looked fatal to the onlookers. I got a small bruise out of it. The drunk didn't like what he got....from me or the judge.
10). Got shot at by a Meth Cooker with a 12 gauge during an entry. Fortunately he watched too many movies and believed a shotgun didn't have to be aimed. He hipfired and blew a hole in the wall to my right as I breached his front door with a 20 lb sledge. Chris my "overwatch" shot him in the leg with his .40 and luckily NEITHER shot blew up what was a major meth lab. You couldn't even breath in that f***ing place and he and his girlfriend had two toddlers in there. I hope there's a special place in Hell for people like them.
11). Got bitten on my right hand (meatiest part of the base of my thumb) by a female shoplifter who was trying to escape. I had to go through a bunch of tests because she was an addict and had Hepatitis A.
12). Got bitten on my left side ribcage by a drunk while I was bar bouncing. I had him in a headlock and he bit me. Hard.
13). Got bitten on my left bicep by an emotionally disturbed woman that the judge 302'd. She decided she wasn't going to inpatient mental health and really chomped down on my arm. There was an officer from Meadville in the courtroom and it took both of us to get her to let go.

This doesn't fit into "Combat" but it does deserve mentioning....
A). I got shot in the back by an incompetent coworker on the training range. We were working for the Armored Car company and were practicing a dynamic shooting drill involving a reload. we were in an L formation at the back of the car (the way you would be if unloading the truck at the rear) This individual was small in stature and not very proficient with firearms. He had just traded his S&W Model 10 .38 for a P7M8....the most dangerous pistol in the world for an unskilled shooter to use. 3 1/2 lb trigger, weapon cocks and the slide releases with just a squeeze of the frontstrap. He had his finger on the trigger during the reload but had to turn the weapon sideways to reach the mag release because he didn't like using his trigger finger to drop the mag (like H&K had designed it to). He squeezed the slide and the weapon discharged...hitting me at a shallow 30 degree angle right between the shoulder blades. The only reason he survived is the shot knocked the wind out of me and I couldn't outrun the range master as I chased him to the parking lot. He traded in that P7 for a Glock 23. One night he put that Glock in his back pocket (instead of a holster) with a comb and climbed into the truck to get his ditch bag. The gun went off and blew a .40 caliber hole through his right butt cheek. POETIC JUSTICE! they let him go after that. For the record, I had a nasty bruise from the point blank strike but no broken bones or any real injury (despite a hit next to my spine). As I said before, it did wind me. If anyone still has doubts; BODY ARMOR WORKS.....

I think you can see now why I bought my Military Time and retired at 20 years. I felt like my luck had run out.