View Single Post
  #10  
Old 04-28-2017, 09:49 AM
Adm.Lee Adm.Lee is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 1,381
Default

Nice. The art adds an interesting flavor.

A few nits, mostly on page 2.
1st para, 1st sentence: "The 9th structure" should be "9th's"
2nd para, only 1 r in Sheridan
3rd para, should be "ground-mounted automatic..."
4th & 5th paragraphs could be merged, and the sentences restructured. I'd split the last sentence of the 4th, since you're talking about both the division and a brigade at the same time. Add in that the division was alerted for the 1990-91 Gulf War, to add some chronology.
The following paragraphs with the 81st Brigade seem to jump about a bit.
Where did the 199th Light Brigade go, and was it still motorized when it was deployed? Perhaps add something to its description.

Sorry if I seem pedantic, I used to be an editor.
__________________
My Twilight claim to fame: I ran "Allegheny Uprising" at Allegheny College, spring of 1988.
Reply With Quote