OT - Stupid things

[Legbreaker]

I was coming home on the bus today and overheard part of a conversation between two of the other passengers that just made me shake my head in amazement.

"We don't have a lot of oil in the ground, we've only got lots of petrol."

Yes, it was a blonde....

So, what other stupid comments have people overheard?

[dragoon500ly]

"My Blackberry doesn't work! Stupid <insert long series of cursing> piece of government issued crap!!!"

"Did you try turning it on?"

"Of course....hay! Its working now!"

I was laughing so hard I almost spilled my morning cup of coffee!

(The owner of the Blackberry was a GS-12)

[Fusilier]

Teaching science... diversity of living things.

Another teacher in the foreign department with me asks with absolute seriousness, "If evolution is true, then why are there still monkeys." They then sit back and cross their arms with a smug look as if they just single handedly destroyed the basic foundation of modern biology.

I clarify the facts...

They reply, again with seriousness, "My father didn't have sex with no ape."

I stop talking to this person...

[dragoon500ly]

After Hurricane Katrina visited the Gulf Coast, I witnessed this little act.

Home owner was trying to cut up some downed trees. He really didn't know how to use a chain saw.

After fueling, he stood astride the chain saw and attempted to start it. His first pull didn't start the engine...although he did succeed in striking himself in the groin with the blade....the end product of thousands of years of evolution!

[simonmark6]

I've got millions:

I pulled a kid out on an assembly given by a visiting NASA astronaut. I was lecturing him on giving respect to the man and he said, "Come on, Sir, it's hardly rocket science is it."

History revision:
My question: Which British scientist helped codify Classical and Medieval Medical theories?
Kid: Kevin Bacon!

Child Development:
Sir, cows have two stomachs don't they? So how do they know which stomach they are having their baby in? ( I had words with the class teacher after that one...)

Marking a history exam where the child was asked to evalute the position of Custer at the Little Big Horn:

Custer split his command into three and sent them all over the place. He then led his bit of the command into three thousand howling Indians that outnumbered him more than ten to one. They had more men and better rifles and they surrounded him. Basically, Custer was fucked.

I awarded him partial credit...

Last one for now:
I got into a discussion with one of our more challenging bretheren about why the school was actively discouraging his relationship with a certain young lady:
Danny: "Why can't I go out with Georgia?"
Me: "Because she's your half-sister."
Danny: "That didn't stop my Mum and Dad."
Me: "Ah, I see..."

I can do more if you want them. My school spawns stupidity like internet forums spawn arguments.

[WallShadow]

After Hurricane Katrina visited the Gulf Coast, I witnessed this little act.

Home owner was trying to cut up some downed trees. He really didn't know how to use a chain saw.

After fueling, he stood astride the chain saw and attempted to start it. His first pull didn't start the engine...although he did succeed in striking himself in the groin with the blade....the end product of thousands of years of evolution!

Another example of the gene pool filter being self-cleaning!

[WallShadow]

I've got millions:

History revision:
My question: Which British scientist helped codify Classical and Medieval Medical theories?
Kid: Kevin Bacon!

Marking a history exam where the child was asked to evalute the position of Custer at the Little Big Horn:

Custer split his command into three and sent them all over the place. He then led his bit of the command into three thousand howling Indians that outnumbered him more than ten to one. They had more men and better rifles and they surrounded him. Basically, Custer was fucked.

I awarded him partial credit...

Last one for now:
I got into a discussion with one of our more challenging bretheren about why the school was actively discouraging his relationship with a certain young lady:
Danny: "Why can't I go out with Georgia?"
Me: "Because she's your half-sister."
Danny: "That didn't stop my Mum and Dad."
Me: "Ah, I see..."



Classical scientist? Every one knows he wasn't European: He was Hoser "Canadian" Bacon. (as told to me by my Canadian buddies.)

Custer? Kid's smack on target as far as I can see!

As for the last, the burning question in the very rural and developmentally backward area I had been transferred to was as follows:
"If your Mom and Dad divorce, are they still brother and sister?"

[Legbreaker]

Danny: "That didn't stop my Mum and Dad."

I can do more if you want them. My school spawns stupidity like internet forums spawn arguments.

That's what you get when you downsize the available gene pool....

[headquarters]

got interviewed by a rather nice looking blonde from local radio last time I was in for an ex. She did a lot of takes and tried out different questions.

Hope she edited that one out:

She started of - "When I see you guys with camouflage and machine guns..."

Me: "actually this is an automatic rifle.."

her: " when I see you guys with uniforms and your atomic rifles.."

me : "eehhrr...."

her: " ? huh? " ( eyes wide in non comprehension)

me:" Can I suggest just rifle?"

[dragoon500ly]

Saw this gem at the local gas station...

A rather lovely young lady pulled up in her sports car and attempted to get gas. The pump refused to read her card and she was getting more and more upset.

Being a gentleman (stop the snickering!) I offered to assist the young lady (the fact that she was displaying a rather immpressive amount of clevage had nothing what so ever to do with my offer to help).

I carefully examined her card, and then informed her that this was her library card and that the pumps would not accept it.

[simonmark6]

Surely she gains some kudos for possessing a library card?

[dvyws]

She would deserve some kudos if she had known it was a library card... :D

[dragoon500ly]

She deserved kudos for the sweater and micro-mini that she was wearing :D

As for the library card, I'm still debating that one...

[Abbott Shaull]

"My Blackberry doesn't work! Stupid <insert long series of cursing> piece of government issued crap!!!"

"Did you try turning it on?"

"Of course....hay! Its working now!"

I was laughing so hard I almost spilled my morning cup of coffee!

(The owner of the Blackberry was a GS-12)

LOL... Now if RIM could keep the Blackberry up all of the time. Then again I can't complain the last 2 months.

[Abbott Shaull]

She deserved kudos for the sweater and micro-mini that she was wearing :D

As for the library card, I'm still debating that one...

Well if she was Blonde she then has earned her kudos for having a Library Card. If she wasn't, well she may have tried to color her hair to create the illusion that she wasn't so dumb after all.

[dragoon500ly]

While stationed at Fort Knox, we would often leave the tanks at the gunnery range and head back into main post for the night and take the van back out the next morning and prep for our trainees.

While driving down the road out to the ranges, in a white goverment-issue van, the five of us passed a MP car. One of our instructors, nicknamed Smitty thought it would be funny to duck down like he was hiding from the MPs. Bad move. The MPs did a 180 on the road and lit up the lights and sirens. We stopped, but the MPs parked about 50 meters behind us and pulled out their M-16 and shotgun and told us to place our hands against the roof of the van <MAJOR OH-SHIT MOMENT>. Within a couple of minutes, he had seven MP cars blocking us in front and back and some eighteen MPs pointing a variety of weapons at us.

After having the driver drop his keys on the road, we had to exit the vehicle, one by one and lie spread-eagled in the ditch, until the MPs cuffed all of us.

Needless to say, by this time Smitty was being threatened by his fellow prisoners with every form of mayhem.

Turns out that the MPs were running a hostage scenario that involved a white, government-issue van loaded with five people dressed in GI uniform who had kidnapped the post commander and his wife.

Smitty never lived that one down....

[Abbott Shaull]

While stationed at Fort Knox, we would often leave the tanks at the gunnery range and head back into main post for the night and take the van back out the next morning and prep for our trainees.

While driving down the road out to the ranges, in a white goverment-issue van, the five of us passed a MP car. One of our instructors, nicknamed Smitty thought it would be funny to duck down like he was hiding from the MPs. Bad move. The MPs did a 180 on the road and lit up the lights and sirens. We stopped, but the MPs parked about 50 meters behind us and pulled out their M-16 and shotgun and told us to place our hands against the roof of the van <MAJOR OH-SHIT MOMENT>. Within a couple of minutes, he had seven MP cars blocking us in front and back and some eighteen MPs pointing a variety of weapons at us.

After having the driver drop his keys on the road, we had to exit the vehicle, one by one and lie spread-eagled in the ditch, until the MPs cuffed all of us.

Needless to say, by this time Smitty was being threatened by his fellow prisoners with every form of mayhem.

Turns out that the MPs were running a hostage scenario that involved a white, government-issue van loaded with five people dressed in GI uniform who had kidnapped the post commander and his wife.

Smitty never lived that one down....

Talk about dumb luck

[Adm.Lee]

When I was in high school, I was able to take two years of Russian language (which I've forgotten nearly all of). Senior year, we took a class trip to the USSR (spring '86). We were told lots of things to not take pictures of, like powerplants, military anything, police and so on.

So, our tour bus is sitting at a Moscow traffic light between the tourist hotel and wherever we were going, and one of our guys points his 35mm out the window at a traffic cop's car stopped next to us. Mark drops the camera into his lap and turns pale. "He looked right at me!" The light changes and the bus pulls out, Mark is staring rigidly ahead. A few of us crane our heads around to see if the cop begins to follow us.
"Oh, yeah, Mark, here he comes after us.... Yep, he's pulling around the bus...."
Of course, the bus stops at the next light, and I'm the one on the driver's side looking ahead. "Yeah, Mark, he's talking to the driver."
Of course, the cop wasn't following us at all, and the bus pulled away from the next traffic light without letting any cops on.
I can still hear Mark's voice, "You guys are full of s***." :D

It gets better, about day #3, Mark realizes he hadn't put any film in his big Nikon yet. Three days of touring Moscow, no pictures for the president of the school's Photo Club. :D

[dragoon500ly]

While on a river crossing exercise, my tank company was parked in a little German village, waiting on the engineers to finish their bridge. I was sitting on the front slope, BS with my TC when one of the recovery specialists decided to cook his C-ration by putting it in the exhaust of his M-88.

Now the tankers get away with this by our placing the cans on top of the cylinders and closing the grill doors again. Dip-shit shoved his can into the exhaust and then fired the engine up. The early M-88s used a gasoline engine and they normally blew about two feet of exhaust...when the M-88 started up, there was a choked moment and then the can was blown out the exhaust. It struck the right front headlight assembly on my tank, shattering it and spraying C-ration Ham and Lima Beans and tin can all over my TC and myself.

The worst part was not that he damaged our headlight assembly, nor was it that the two of us had to spend several minutes with the medic having tin can pulled out of our hides....it was getting sprayed with Ham and Lima Beans...YEECCCH!!!

[dragoon500ly]

While teaching young Second Lieutenants the fine art of driving a tank.....

A officer finished the basic driving course at high speed, smoothly dipping and rolling over the obstacles and pulling to a halt that left dust bellowing over the next drivers. As the officer dismounted his M-60A1...there was a loud POP, followed rapidly by several more and the tank first listed to one side and then adapted a nose up angle.

To the delight of the watching crowd, eight of the torsion bars on the rear of the tank chose that moment to break.

Why the delight you ask, Armor Officer's Basic had one firm rule, if you break it, you fix it. And there is nothing like raising a supension arm, sledging out the broken pieces of torsion bar and then sledging in the replacement bar....and getting to watch a Second Lieutenant doing it!

[Abbott Shaull]

While teaching young Second Lieutenants the fine art of driving a tank.....

A officer finished the basic driving course at high speed, smoothly dipping and rolling over the obstacles and pulling to a halt that left dust bellowing over the next drivers. As the officer dismounted his M-60A1...there was a loud POP, followed rapidly by several more and the tank first listed to one side and then adapted a nose up angle.

To the delight of the watching crowd, eight of the torsion bars on the rear of the tank chose that moment to break.

Why the delight you ask, Armor Officer's Basic had one firm rule, if you break it, you fix it. And there is nothing like raising a supension arm, sledging out the broken pieces of torsion bar and then sledging in the replacement bar....and getting to watch a Second Lieutenant doing it!

Poor 2nd Lieutenant... Probably the only time he would ever have to do it...lol

[dragoon500ly]

There is something about watching a 2nd looie having to do hard phusical labor......

That just brings a big smile to my face!

[Abbott Shaull]

There is something about watching a 2nd looie having to do hard phusical labor......

That just brings a big smile to my face!

Something about any Officer doing hard Physical Labor would make you smile...lol

Come to think about...belay that it would only get me into trouble and they haven't authorized women to be member of tank crews yet... But they can be fighter pilots something doesn't make sense...

[headquarters]

You mean us carrying our stars or bars on our shoulders isnt a hard enough burden already?
You would have us toil in the dirt like ..like .. a common enlisted man???!!???

What a dreadful notion!

Where you in my company I should have you court martialed for communist symphaties!

:D

[dragoon500ly]

Well, we had yet another would be robber try to knock over a bank....you'd think that they would realize that when the bank is located on a peninsula with only three ways off, that the police will be waiting for you on the bridge......

[Abbott Shaull]

Sounds like some idiots that try to rob banks here in the UP of Michigan. When there are only so many ways to get aways from towns up here unless you want try to trek cross country and even then you still have so many choke points you have to go through...*shrug*

[Legbreaker]

The following is an email I just received. Words of wisdom there I'd say...

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.
He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whisky in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance.. never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.
The old prospector --not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.
The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's arse?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."
There are a few lessons for us all here:
Never be arrogant.
Don't waste ammunition.
Whisky makes you think you're smarter than you are.
Always, always make sure you know who has the power.
Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.
I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?

[atiff]

Nice one :) Here's a similar one...



An old gentleman is in his chauffeur-driven in his Rolls, with the driver about to pull into a parking spot, when out of nowhere a sleek red Porsche zips into the space. A young businessman steps out with a grin on his face.

The gentleman lowers the window and says "Excuse me, young man, we were about to park in that space."

The young man just laughs and says "Well, that's what you can do when you are young and fast!"

As he starts to walk away, the gentleman raises the window and speaks to his driver. The Rolls backs up gently..... then the engine roars, and it flies forward, smashing into the side of the Porsche. The young man runs back to his crushed vehicle, aghast; "My car!! What did you do that for?!?"

The gentleman lowers the window again. "Well, that's what you can do when you are old and rich."

[dragoon500ly]

You mean us carrying our stars or bars on our shoulders isnt a hard enough burden already?
You would have us toil in the dirt like ..like .. a common enlisted man???!!???

What a dreadful notion!

Where you in my company I should have you court martialed for communist symphaties!

:D

A little honest labor is good for the soul! ;)

[dragoon500ly]

And from the local paper.....

Park Rangers arrested four people for cooking meth today. Our criminal master minds decide that cooking the stuff in the middle of a national forest would avoid most of the problems associated with the act, to wit, the rather unique stench.

Just a few problems...

Its been a dry winter down here and the Forestery Service has a total ban on outdoor fires...their grill was putting out quite a streamer of smoke.

Two fire towers happened to spot the smoke and got a excellent grid.

The area where they were cooking was located three miles from the district ranger office, and there was a complete fire crew as well as rangers, over twenty people, bored out of their grouds.

There was only the trail they were on and a logging road....everything else was protected forest with HEAVY undergrowth.

As soon as the meth cookers spotted the Forestry Service trucks roaring up the trail, they opened fire, disabling one truck. They then ducked into the undergrowth and tried to get away on foot.

By this time the Park Rangers and Highway Patrol had roadblocks set up....and were broadcasting loudspeaker appeals that if the crooks would give themselves up right away, they would be treated for Poison Ivy and Poison Oak, since they had run through patches of both while getting away...

Shortest manhunt in Mississippi history....the last one gave up within thirty minutes.

Moral of the story...it never hurts to open the old Boy Scout handbook once in a while!

[Abbott Shaull]

Sounds likes something that would happen up here...lol

[dragoon500ly]

What gets me is the National Forest that I live by is bounded by two major highways....if you get lost, you travel either east or west and within ten miles of walking, you are on well traveled highways....it also has numerous logging trails, bike trails, hiking trails.....

Yet the number of people that get lost; has to be seen to be believed!

A woman and her daughter came staggering out of the woods behind my property yesterday, they had been lost for two days after they strayed from a bike trail. They had spent a wet night next to a tree, afraid of wild animals.

Didn't have the heart to tell them that there were a dozen farms, and a ranger station within three miles of where they were lost......

[Abbott Shaull]

What gets me is the National Forest that I live by is bounded by two major highways....if you get lost, you travel either east or west and within ten miles of walking, you are on well traveled highways....it also has numerous logging trails, bike trails, hiking trails.....

Yet the number of people that get lost; has to be seen to be believed!

A woman and her daughter came staggering out of the woods behind my property yesterday, they had been lost for two days after they strayed from a bike trail. They had spent a wet night next to a tree, afraid of wild animals.

Didn't have the heart to tell them that there were a dozen farms, and a ranger station within three miles of where they were lost......

What do you expect they were CIVILIANS... Probably not a map between them.

[pmulcahy11b]

A little honest labor is good for the soul! ;)

Since when do officers do honest labor?:D

[Abbott Shaull]

Since when do officers do honest labor?:D

LOL... Paul that is why even at the Higher HQ there plenty of E-2, E-3, and E-4s mugging about that do the manual labor.

[dragoon500ly]

Since when do officers do honest labor?:D

Hey!! I once saw a 2nd looie actually lift a M-240 receiver and pass it up to his loader!!!!!!

No Lie, GI!!!!!!

Thought the poor kid was going to pass out from the exertion!

[Abbott Shaull]

Hey!! I once saw a 2nd looie actually lift a M-240 receiver and pass it up to his loader!!!!!!

No Lie, GI!!!!!!

Thought the poor kid was going to pass out from the exertion!

LOL Poor 2nd looie... Maybe he should spend more time doing remedial PT...lol

[Legbreaker]

I just noticed the forum currently has 451 members and immediately thought of Ray Bradbury for some reason....
:firedevil

[Legbreaker]

Most people probably won't recognise the names, but footballers are the same wherever you are in the world...

'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
(Shane Wakelin).

'Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'
(Mick Malthouse - Collingwood).

'I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.'
(Peter Bell - Fremantle - on his University Law studies).

'You guys line up alphabetically by height.' and 'You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.'
(Barry Hall Sydney Captain at training).

Brock Maclean (Melbourne) on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt:
'I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.'

'He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.'
(Kevin Sheedy on James Hird).

Jonathan Brown, on night Grand Finals vs Day Games 'It's basically the same, just darker.'

Ron Barassi talking about Gary Cowton
'I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Barass, I don't know and I don't care.'

Barry Hall (Sydney) when asked about the upcoming season:
'I want to kick 70 or 80 goals this season, whichever comes first.'

'Luke Hodge - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago'
(Dermott Brereton).

'Chad had done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator.'
(Mark Williams).

'We actually got the winning goal three minutes from the end but then they scored.'
(Ben Cousins, West Coast Eagles).

'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.'
(Luke Darcy).

'That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical.'
(Dermott Brereton).

'Sure there have been injuries and deaths in football - but none of them serious.'
(Adrian Anderson).

'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'
(Andrew Demetriou).

'I would not say he (Chris Judd) is the best centreman in the AFL but there are none better.'
(Dermott Brereton).

'I never comment on umpires and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.'(Terry Wallace).

Garry Lyon: ' Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?'
David Swartz: 'On what?'

'Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.'
(Dermott Brereton).

'Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.'
(Dermott Brereton).

[Panther Al]

Most people probably won't recognise the names, but footballers are the same wherever you are in the world...

*snip*

Ron Barassi talking about Gary Cowton
'I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Barass, I don't know and I don't care.'

*snip*.

I dunno... that one I think let slip out that he actually has a working brain. That was actually rather clever.

[dragoon500ly]

And in Dumb Crook news....

Some jerk picked up a drunk woman at a party, offering her a ride home...she accepted and along the way, he stopped and forced her to perform a sex act against her will....


Since she couldn't remember his name or even give a good discreption, he probably wouldn't have been caught.

The dumb part....he took a cell-phone video of the assault and posted it on his facebook page.......

And here's your sign!

[Legbreaker]

Yeah, nobody ever looks at social media do they, and certainly not any police....

I heard a few months back that police in Australia were starting to serve warrants and summons via Facebook to those they couldn't physically locate. Court approved it as a valid method of service....

[dragoon500ly]

It's starting to happen in more places. Big Brother really is just about every where!

[Panther Al]

Today in history (the 9th of May), is a very important day for those who are of a military bent (Which is most of us I imagine).

In 1864, the worlds best battlefield quote was given by Maj. Gen. Sedgwick, In which when asked by his aide to get off his horse because there was Rebel Snipers on the other side of the battlefield, uttered:

"Nonsense, Why they couldn't hit a Elephant at this ran....."

[LBraden]

I thought it was "Dist....." not "Ran....."

[Panther Al]

I've heard it both ways: To be honest at this point its probably impossible to ever state it was one way or the other. One thing that seems to be pretty certain from my reading of the incident is that it was some Corp from Alabama with a Whitworth that did the deed, and most agree it was at a range (that even today would raise eyebrows) between 600 to 1000 yards: and with a blackpowder rifle that is pretty damn good. Yet again proving that number .45 rules with firearms.

Ever man wishes to be remembered throughout history: Sedgwick I think would have rather not be remembered for this.




(actually .451, but hey: Its still a 45.)

[Legbreaker]

On the other hand, it could have been nothing more than a stray shot.
Still, rather fateful words....

[Bullet Magnet]

Today in history (the 9th of May), is a very important day for those who are of a military bent (Which is most of us I imagine).

In 1864, the worlds best battlefield quote was given by Maj. Gen. Sedgwick, In which when asked by his aide to get off his horse because there was Rebel Snipers on the other side of the battlefield, uttered:

"Nonsense, Why they couldn't hit a Elephant at this ran....."


I so enjoy seeing people display excessive hubris, then end up with s__t on their face. That's one of the reasons I picked the signature line I have.

Thanks for the bit of historical detail. I know I've read it before, but it's always good to get an occasional reminder.

[Rockwolf66]

"My Blackberry doesn't work! Stupid <insert long series of cursing> piece of government issued crap!!!"

Is it just me or do I smell a Spambot trying to sucker people into thinking it's a real person so that we click on the WOW gold links it has in it's sig line?

[Legbreaker]

Well, it is the "stupid things" thread.... :D

[dragoon500ly]

Went to pick my son up from school and witnessed this gem....

Two maintenance men are working on an air conditioner unit. First guy asks the second to make sure that the power is turned off and that a safety key is inserted. Second guy does so.

Teacher steps out of the classroom, upset that her cold air is not blowing. I looked up just in time to see her stomp past the guys working on the A/C, yank the safety key out and turn the power back on.

The result, one man with 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his arm. An A/C compressor destroyed. And a teacher trying to explain to the principal why she removed a safety key and turned power back on instead of calling the office to notify them of the issue and thus bypassing a chance to be told that maintenance was working on the problem.

[Targan]

Wow, that is indeed powerfully stupid. That teacher is lucky nobody died.

[dragoon500ly]

The really stupid part is yet to come....

The teacher in question has contacted the teacher's union in an effort to prevent any action taken against her by the school. This is the same union that will not allow the dismissal of any tenured teacher for any reason, up to and including convictions of any crime, poor job perfromance, and discipline problems.

Waiting with baited breath...

[Abbott Shaull]

Went to pick my son up from school and witnessed this gem....

Two maintenance men are working on an air conditioner unit. First guy asks the second to make sure that the power is turned off and that a safety key is inserted. Second guy does so.

Teacher steps out of the classroom, upset that her cold air is not blowing. I looked up just in time to see her stomp past the guys working on the A/C, yank the safety key out and turn the power back on.

The result, one man with 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his arm. An A/C compressor destroyed. And a teacher trying to explain to the principal why she removed a safety key and turned power back on instead of calling the office to notify them of the issue and thus bypassing a chance to be told that maintenance was working on the problem.

Unionized or not, the dimwit teacher should go. They place safety keys on things for reason. Once you remove someone else safety key you accept responsibility for all damage and harm your action cause. She clearly didn't have any right to do that. Sadly this happens all of the time. People who are educated way beyond their means to use common sense. It happens a lot in factories where people are to anxious to get production try to take short cuts and it usually the Maintenance and Setup people who are working on the equipment who are the ones who get injured.

[Legbreaker]

Seems to me that criminal charges may well be warranted...

[Targan]

Seems to me that criminal charges may well be warranted...

Big time. If it happened in this jurisdiction WorkSafe would call in the lawyers immediately.

[Adm.Lee]

Are the maintenance guys union, too? That should give some more weight to their side....

[dragoon500ly]

As it stands right now, she is suspended with pay pending review.

The injured maintenance man is sueing the teacher in civil court for pain and suffering. His lawyer also filed a writ advising the court of their intention to include the school district "unless punitive actions are taken against the teacher that match the seriousness of her actions."

All in all, they will probably make a final decision on her termination...some time in 2025!

[Abbott Shaull]

With pay, the teacher had no right or reason to touch the kill switch. She should of been sucking it up and dealing with it, if she couldn't go through the proper channels to get the A/C turned on. Up here in Michigan many schools don't A/C they only have heating due to the fact that they are only open a few months in which A/C would be considered needed....

[Legbreaker]

Back when I was a lad (shakes walking frame), we were lucky if we had ceiling fans to cope with the 40+ degree (celsius) heat of the long summers.
Air conditioning! Piffle!

[Abbott Shaull]

Back when I was a lad (shakes walking frame), we were lucky if we had ceiling fans to cope with the 40+ degree (celsius) heat of the long summers.
Air conditioning! Piffle!
Yeah I know... Our old Middle School barely had a heating system that kept up. Let alone Air Conditional wasn't invented when built. It was the High School when my parents went to school.

The Elementary School was quite new, but didn't have air. We open Windows when it got that stuffy.

The High School was the same thing. The down side there were interior room with no window so these rooms could become quite unbearable during the year. This building now the Middle School, and they have a new High School in which I am sure they have central air. I wonder if they have Pool....lol

[Targan]

Back when I was a lad (shakes walking frame), we were lucky if we had ceiling fans to cope with the 40+ degree (celsius) heat of the long summers.
Air conditioning! Piffle!

I gather you didn't go to school in Tasmania then? Lemme tell ya, Perth summers are both long and hot.

So why'd you move to Tassie Leg? Did you think there needed to be more mania in Tasmania? :devilsmil

[Legbreaker]

Correct, spent the first few decades up north and drifted south for a few years ending up here in 2001.
Main reason I came here was the cheap houses. Getting away from the damn heat was another MAJOR factor.

[dragoon500ly]

Well, being in the Deep South, it is not so much the temp as the humidity that has the tourists and snow birds dropping in thier tracks!

In other news, a local charter fishing boat, all 25-tons of her, tried to dispute the right of way with a 10,000 ton bananna boat. Said bananna boat was in the correct shipping channel and moving at the correct speed when the fishing boat tried to beat the (much) larger ship.

The result, the fishing boat lost (REALLY big surprise there, no?). Three people are missing and presumed dead.

And the fishing boat captain claimed that the bananna boat rammed him on purpose!

Needless to say, the Coast Guard is not amused. Especially when they surveyed the wreck...in the main shipping channel...in an area that is marked as "No Fishing"

Criminal charges are pending.

[dragoon500ly]

Just caught this news flash;

It seems that a family decided that the recent news of Judgement Day falling on May 21st was true. So the mother decided to kill her two kids and then commit suicide.

[Schone23666]

Okay, I know this thread is a bit old, but I do have one to share:

One day several years ago, me and a coworker were taking a break and chatting in a parking lot. A middle aged woman in a car nearby was trying to get it started, to no avail. A much younger man, slightly scruffy who decided to be a good Samaritan pulled his car up next to hers and offered to help jumpstart her car using his battery, and got out and connected a pair of jumper cables. After running his car for a few minutes (as me and my coworker watched) she tried to start her own car again, still with no success.

Well, the lad unfortunately had the rather bright idea then to switch the cable leads around on the woman's car battery ONLY. You can guess what happened next...

The battery's of BOTH cars began to smoke, and the cables themselves burst into flame and hot melting rubber oozed over both cars. The man is just standing there, rather dumbstruck with a "duuhhhh" expression on his face while me and my coworker are looking for something long and nonconductive to knock the damn cable leads off the batteries, and the woman is going into shock screaming her head off.

"Do something!!!" She's screaming as we're knocking the leads off the batteries.

"Lady, we've got a damn electrical fire here, we gotta disconnect the leads first!"

The lady: "Throw some water on it!!!"

:rolleyes:

[dragoon500ly]

This one left me a little concerned....

Knocked off work early today and met with some friends to do a little pistol shooting at the local police range.

We had to sit through the usual 15-minute safety briefing that we've heard a few thousand times. The police officer in change of the range decided that he needed to fire a few magazines for his monthly quota.

He walks up to the firing line, pulls his Glock and promptly fires a round into the table in front of him. He then turns around with his pistol pointed at waist level, I'm guessing to see if anybody had observed what he had just done, only to see a dozen government employees promptly dive for cover while screaming "SAFE THAT WEAPON!!!!"

I can sleep safe tonight, knowing that he is out there, with a loaded weapon....:rolleyes:

[Targan]

Wait, you're saying that this was the police officer IN CHARGE OF THE RANGE? Please tell me there will be some kind of official consequences to this incident?

[dragoon500ly]

I was flipping through an old journal and came across this...

We had a West Point "Third Lieutenant" join us for his summer training. Since we were about to go through the machine gun tables and our ringknocker had proved himself to by an utter pissant, so some NCOs decided to make an example of him.

It involved a M-2HB and a little creative work with the timing mechanism.

Our stud jumped up onto the cupola and, true to form, "forget" to check his headspace and timing. Range goes hot, he slaps a belt of API in, racks the bolt and fires.

A single round.

He looks at the weapon and then holds the trigger down, nothing happens. He racks the bolt, fires again.

And another single round goes off.

He opens the feed cover, removes the belt and proceeds to strip a dozen rounds off and then reloads the belt and tries again.

And once again a single round goes off.

By this time, everyone in the range tower is howling with laughter. Our future officer breaks down and radios in that his machine gun isn't working. Our Captain radios back advising young Westie to have his loader inspect the weapon.

The PFC, who had been carefully briefed before hand, proceeds to clear and disassemble and then reassemble the .50...in the process restoring the timing mechanism to its correct setting.

He then slaps a belt in, racks the bolt and fires off 75 rounds.

Our PFC turns to the future officer who asks, "what was wrong?"

The answer...

"You had the bolt in upside down sir!"

;)

Gotta love lieutenants!

[ArmySGT.]

Wait, you're saying that this was the police officer IN CHARGE OF THE RANGE? Please tell me there will be some kind of official consequences to this incident?

Sadly most cops here are not gun enthusiasts or veterans. They are graduates of a criminal justice degree.

So a firearm is another piece of their uniform. Used for that one qual a year.

A friend of mine I loaned tools to for a summer M1911 class is a firearms instructor for his sheriffs department. Wears the big red Instructors Class IIIA vest when instructing.

Likely that Officer was transferred to the Range as a Mercy to others that had to work and rely on him.

[dragoon500ly]

Wait, you're saying that this was the police officer IN CHARGE OF THE RANGE? Please tell me there will be some kind of official consequences to this incident?

This was the Sergeant in charge of the range! It happened yesterday and it was reported to his lieutenant, as to what happens...I live in the Deep South and the Good Ole Boy Network is in full swing, especially in the Police and Fire Departments. He should be disciplined, but more likely he will simply get the 2-minute "never do that again" lecture.

[dragoon500ly]

Sadly most cops here are not gun enthusiasts or veterans. They are graduates of a criminal justice degree.

So a firearm is another piece of their uniform. Used for that one qual a year.

A friend of mine I loaned tools to for a summer M1911 class is a firearms instructor for his sheriffs department. Wears the big red Instructors Class IIIA vest when instructing.

Likely that Officer was transferred to the Range as a Mercy to others that had to work and rely on him.

The police department in question has its officer shoot qualification twice a year and they have to fire a minimum of 100 rounds a month or so I have been told.

Going by some of the accidents/incidents that have happened in recent years, I'm inclined to believe that they really shoot a single bullet a year at a paper target 2 meters in front of them.

Barney Fife Commandos is just one nickname for the local police.

[Bullet Magnet]

He walks up to the firing line, pulls his Glock and promptly fires a round into the table in front of him.

I can sleep safe tonight, knowing that he is out there, with a loaded weapon....:rolleyes:

Yes, isn't it so reassuring to know you are safe from attacks by furniture with cops like him around.

[dragoon500ly]

Well, here is what our favorite cop got...

Three day suspension,

with pay!

And a verbal warning!

And since we have Tropical Storm Lee coming in...

His suspension was waived, all the cops need to be on duty to prevent public disturbance.

Yup! The Good Ole Boy Network is alive and well!!!


All police officers have been recalled

[Bullet Magnet]

3 day suspension with pay = 3 days of bonus vacation time.

[Targan]

Wow. If he'd accidentally shot someone maybe they would have given him an all-expenses-paid visit to Disneyland.

[dragoon500ly]

Don't know about the trip to Disneyland, and by no means do I agree with the "punishment" this officer received. But it a perfect example of what is wrong in police departments, at least in my part of the country. Officers have a great deal of responsibility, and it is certainly not a profession that I would ever want to have, but should police officers not be held to a high standard of ethics and behavior?

An accidental discharge is just that, an accident, but it also warrants a more serious examination of what happened. Did it deserve a suspension? Probably not, but administrative duty and retraining sessions, possibly even have his Lieutenant write him a warning letter would have been warranted IMHO.

But suspension with pay and then recall back to duty, in effect canceling out the "punishment"?

[Targan]

An accidental discharge is just that, an accident, but it also warrants a more serious examination of what happened. Did it deserve a suspension? Probably not, but administrative duty and retraining sessions, possibly even have his Lieutenant write him a warning letter would have been warranted IMHO.

But it was a bit more than an accidental discharge wasn't it? It was an accidental discharge immediately followed by the officer turning around from the firing line and pointing a loaded, chambered firearm with the safety off at "a dozen government employees" who "promptly dive for cover while screaming "SAFE THAT WEAPON!!!!".

To me that's not an accident, that's a series of mistakes that suggest poor concentration or poor training, probably both. At the very least someone else should be the sgt in charge of the range.

[ArmySGT.]

Sometimes my co-workers here in the civilian world can be astoundingly dumb.

Ok we all work from two or shared folders. One is on the desktop of my workstation and another is on a shared machine.

Recently a position was deleted and on weekends to cover down everyone works in another part of the building.

So to recap during the week my office is the focal point and the shift supervisors work there. There are more drones during the week. The weekend one less on staff now. My office is then closed and workstations are turned off to conserve electricity.

For a month now I am getting complaints that I am not doing things right, and the desk top short cuts won't work.

I work M-F, but since I was going to be in the area I brought my work thumb drive and stopped in to see the problem first hand.

So yeah the short cuts don't work. I am baffled the same exact short cuts work during the week. Trying one essentially locks up the machine for a minute until you get an error code. I re-install the short cuts twice re-booting each time. No Joy.

Then my co-worker casually mentions that working here is ok, but restarting the workstations in the main office it can take twenty minutes for the remote monitoring to acquire everything.

Me = What!.

Of course the short cut to a file in a shared desktop file doesn't work if that PC is turned off.

Dazed expression is returned. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.

[dragoon500ly]

But it was a bit more than an accidental discharge wasn't it? It was an accidental discharge immediately followed by the officer turning around from the firing line and pointing a loaded, chambered firearm with the safety off at "a dozen government employees" who "promptly dive for cover while screaming "SAFE THAT WEAPON!!!!".

To me that's not an accident, that's a series of mistakes that suggest poor concentration or poor training, probably both. At the very least someone else should be the sgt in charge of the range.

Have to agree with you, but IRL...I reported his punishment. It wasn't right but it is indicative of the standards of the local police departments where I live.

If you want real horror stories, you simply have to travel westwards and visit the New Orleans Police Department. To give you an idea of how bad the NOPD is...the FBI has maintained over 50 agents in NO since the 1970s, investigating police midconduct by the NOPD. No other city in the US can make that claim!

Or as the locals semi-joke, the New Orleans Police Department, the best law money can buy!

[Ronin]

This quote from "Chesty" Puller has always brought a smile to my face.
"They are in front of us, behind us, and we are flanked on both sides by an enemy that outnumbers us 29:1. They can't get away from us now!"

[Legbreaker]

There's no way these could possibly get published in today's PC world...

1630

Check out those prices!!!

1631

[Legbreaker]

1685

[Cpl. Kalkwarf]

This quote from "Chesty" Puller has always brought a smile to my face.
"They are in front of us, behind us, and we are flanked on both sides by an enemy that outnumbers us 29:1. They can't get away from us now!"

OOO RAHHH Chesty is awesome.

[StainlessSteelCynic]

1685

Q. How many Marines does it take to push a knife-wielding thief off a kerb?
A. None, he slipped.

Serves the idiot right for stabbing a military man :p

[Targan]

Too right. He's lucky they didn't kill him.

[dragoon500ly]

My wife works as a paralegal....she dropped this on me earlier today...WARNING!!!

PUT THE CUP DOWN BEFORE READING!

Top Ten Silly Sex Laws In The United States

1. Oral sex is illegal in 18 states.

2. In Virginia, it is illegal to make love with the lights on.

3. It is illegal for husbands in Willowdale, Oregon to talk dirty during intercourse.

4. Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal in Georgia.

5. Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington D.C.

6. In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm.

7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

8. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida.

9. It is illegal in Utah to marry your first cousin before the age of 65.

10. Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.

After reviewing this list, one is left with the impression that local governments have waaaayyy too much free time on their hands; that some of the special interest groups really need to get a life; and that somewhere, in some police department, some poor shmuck has to investigate these "crimes".

[pmulcahy11b]

We had a West Point "Third Lieutenant" join us for his summer training. Since we were about to go through the machine gun tables and our ringknocker had proved himself to by an utter pissant, so some NCOs decided to make an example of him.

"You had the bolt in upside down sir!"

;)

Gotta love lieutenants!

And I'm sure he immediately tried to place the blame on someone else!

[pmulcahy11b]

My wife works as a paralegal....she dropped this on me earlier today...WARNING!!!


These aren't sex laws, but...

1) In San Antonio, it's actually legal to own an alligator as a pet. But it's illegal to walk him downtown, and when you walk him in your neighborhood or a public park, he must be leashed.

2) It's illegal in Texas to hunt with a sword, a sword being defined as being a weapon with a blade of more than 15 inches or a total length of 24 inches or greater.

[Schone23666]

These aren't sex laws, but...

1) In San Antonio, it's actually legal to own an alligator as a pet. But it's illegal to walk him downtown, and when you walk him in your neighborhood or a public park, he must be leashed.

2) It's illegal in Texas to hunt with a sword, a sword being defined as being a weapon with a blade of more than 15 inches or a total length of 24 inches or greater.


The heat must do weird things to people in Texas, that's the only logical explanation I can come up with. :confused:

Oh, and was stuck in Texas at both Lackland and Sheppard for close to a year just for training way back when....not too anxious to go back, no offense. :p

[Webstral]

In defense of Texas, the state would do pretty well as its own nation. In terms of population, Texas has more people than the median UN member. In terms of land mass, Texas has plenty. Geography and geology are varied. The agricultural base, industrial base, and extractive industries are all well-developed. If there's a part of the state you don't like, there are plenty of other places to go. I haven't spent a lot of time in Texas, but I like it well enough. Were I still a single man, I probably would have left California years ago and ended up in Arizona or Texas (where gun laws and the climate are to my liking, if not always the rest of the politics).

[weswood]

These aren't sex laws, but...

2) It's illegal in Texas to hunt with a sword, a sword being defined as being a weapon with a blade of more than 15 inches or a total length of 24 inches or greater.

Damnit! There goes the hog hunt me & a friend were planning. I guess it'll be pistols.

[Legbreaker]

I guess it'll be pistols.
Black powder duelling pistols I should hope!?

[weswood]

Black powder duelling pistols I should hope!?

Heeeyyyyy, I like the way you think. But it will have to be cap & ball revolvers, don't have any dueling pistols.

[Graebarde]

2) It's illegal in Texas to hunt with a sword, a sword being defined as being a weapon with a blade of more than 15 inches or a total length of 24 inches or greater.

BUT you can bait and trap game.. or shoot them from aircraft. Shows where there are guts and sports involved here eh? I say we get the sword repealed, better yet make it the only way to harvest feral hogs... go out with a long blade or spear and face the tusker face to face.. rather then turn your dogs on it and let it rip them up so you can staple them together and wrap some duct tape on them. (got that second hand info from a taxidermist friend of mine when we were discussing a hog he was working on.).

They don't HUNT in Texas, they only HARVEST.. Yeah it's one of my peeves of the Great State of Texas, and has been since I got here in '87.

[weswood]

BUT you can bait and trap game.. or shoot them from aircraft. Shows where there are guts and sports involved here eh? I say we get the sword repealed, better yet make it the only way to harvest feral hogs... go out with a long blade or spear and face the tusker face to face.. rather then turn your dogs on it and let it rip them up so you can staple them together and wrap some duct tape on them. (got that second hand info from a taxidermist friend of mine when we were discussing a hog he was working on.).

They don't HUNT in Texas, they only HARVEST.. Yeah it's one of my peeves of the Great State of Texas, and has been since I got here in '87.

I like to think of it as AMBUSHING, specially deer. I mean, you set up a feeder that goes off at dawn and dusk, luring the deer to feed. Then you set up a stand, 10' pluss off the ground, in easy rifle range. And then you just wait.

[Adm.Lee]

Q. How many Marines does it take to push a knife-wielding thief off a kerb?
A. None, he slipped.

Serves the idiot right for stabbing a military man :p

Sounds like one of my favorite stupid-criminal stories. The rumor is that two guys wanted to hold up a convenience store, but wanted to avoid the minimum sentence for using a gun. They took baseball bats!

(OK, they have half a brain between them, but awful luck.)

Seems the guy behind the counter was a hand-to-hand combat instructor-- rumor is he had been in the Israeli Army. He beat them up with their own bats. And then called the sheriff.

[TiggerCCW UK]

Sounds like one of my favorite stupid-criminal stories. The rumor is that two guys wanted to hold up a convenience store, but wanted to avoid the minimum sentence for using a gun. They took baseball bats!

(OK, they have half a brain between them, but awful luck.)

Seems the guy behind the counter was a hand-to-hand combat instructor-- rumor is he had been in the Israeli Army. He beat them up with their own bats. And then called the sheriff.

Not a stupid thing at all (except on the part of the crims who repeatedly tried to rob him), but similar in essence to this post - I just recently heard about Lance Thomas in a magazine article. I reckon he'd make a pretty cool NPC :)

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0BTT/is_156_26/ai_82533205/

[tailgate]

Im very new to all of this, but have been a fan of Twilight 2000 since it first came out.. so yeah to puts me at 42 and holding. Im interested in joining up on a game... but Im very new here and need info. Dont hesitate to email me. thanks.

[weswood]

Im very new to all of this, but have been a fan of Twilight 2000 since it first came out.. so yeah to puts me at 42 and holding. Im interested in joining up on a game... but Im very new here and need info. Dont hesitate to email me. thanks.

Welcome to the board. What part of East Texas are you in?

[LBraden]

http://www.collectedcurios.com/Tank_Pub.jpg

[ArmySGT.]

When I see a British or German APC I half expect it to have beer and cigarette dispensers on the sides. ;)

[dragoon500ly]

Allied Forces Headquarters (WWII Mediterranean Theater) was famous for a number of surveys, seeking to identify ways to improve the lot of the common soldier as well as providing gainful employment to its thousands of REMFs.

One of more REMF moments was the idea to have soldiers write an essay on "Why I'm Fighting"...the winner would get a five day pass to Algiers. The winning essay, in its entirety: "I was drafted."

source was The Liberation Trilogy" by Rick Atkinson

[Legbreaker]

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-05-02/man27s-arm-partially-severed-in-chainsaw-attack/3984012

It wasn't me, I swear!

"Where people start arming themselves with chainsaws and other weapons, it's certainly a concern for the police."
What, knives, pistols and baseball bats not enough to be concerned? :confused:

Maybe they thought they were in a zombie move? :cool:

[bobcat]

6. In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm.

7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

8. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida.

10. Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.


the has to be a good story behind these ones. they're too specific for someone to have just thought them up without someone actually doing it.(and number 8 sounds painful)

[weswood]

the has to be a good story behind these ones. they're too specific for someone to have just thought them up without someone actually doing it.(and number 8 sounds painful)

#8 should be illegal everywhere!

[Bullet Magnet]

"Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida."

Am I the only one who finds it disturbing that there's a place where this apparently was a big enough problem someone saw the need to make a law against it?

[WallShadow]

"7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth."

And rightly so! It would interfere with the timely performance of the toll-taker's duties. Such things should be done either in the truck driver's cab or on TOP of the toll booth and only on the toll employee's breaktime!

BTW, I live about 2 miles from a very busy toll interchange. Gonna hafta break out the binoculars and start toll-gazing....;)

[WallShadow]

#8 should be illegal everywhere!

Actually, I believe if enough perpetrators were allowed to carry out their desires, the gene pool filter would be self-cleaning in this instance.
I've heard of piercings in sensitive places for erotic stimulation, but.....

[Graebarde]

"7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth."

And rightly so! It would interfere with the timely performance of the toll-taker's duties. Such things should be done either in the truck driver's cab or on TOP of the toll booth and only on the toll employee's breaktime!

BTW, I live about 2 miles from a very busy toll interchange. Gonna hafta break out the binoculars and start toll-gazing....;)

Hey, he was only paying his toll!!! Or perhaps sending a message to what he thought of the high tolls for trucks on the turnpike in PA?

But second thought, who says it was a male truckdriver?