OT: Australia, safest continent on the planet

[Legbreaker]

In Australia, our snakes are so big, they need a Police escort.
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And these reports of various attacks just from the past month...
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-22/man-attacked-by-shark-at-lighthouse-beach-nsw/6717566
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-09-04/man-attacked-by-shark-on-nsw-mid-north-coast/6749982
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-09-10/top-end-fishermen-brave-crocodile-waters-despite-risk-attack/6765486
http://24h.net.au/australia/victoria/reports-of-kangaroo-attacks-at-lithgow/
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-16/koala-chases-south-australian-woman-on-quad-bike/6701210

[swaghauler]

In Australia, our snakes are so big, they need a Police escort.
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And these reports of various attacks just from the past month...
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-22/man-attacked-by-shark-at-lighthouse-beach-nsw/6717566
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-09-04/man-attacked-by-shark-on-nsw-mid-north-coast/6749982
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-09-10/top-end-fishermen-brave-crocodile-waters-despite-risk-attack/6765486
http://24h.net.au/australia/victoria/reports-of-kangaroo-attacks-at-lithgow/
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-16/koala-chases-south-australian-woman-on-quad-bike/6701210

LOL. I wonder if he had to pay for the "Oversized Load Permit" and the "Escort Fee?"

[unkated]

LOL. I wonder if he had to pay for the "Oversized Load Permit"

Only if he's eaten well lately.

Uncle Ted

[Jason Weiser]

Yeah sure..you keep sharks as pets...you have Drop Bears...you're really, really safe..:D=

Going to go see if somebody has a bridge UNDER Tampa Bay to sell him.

[Schone23666]

Checklist if I ever go to Australia:

If I go boating? Bring out a Vietnam-era PBR, get the engines overhauled and upgun it....30mm ASP autocannon fore and a M2HB/Mk19 combo aft should do it for those damn crocs. Bring several crates of Mk3A2 grenades to deal with the sharks.

Driving around the outback...LAV-25 with the 25mm Bushmaster cannon. See if I can bolt on a couple TOW or Javelin AT missiles on the gun turret, just in case...

Personal protection...M4 carbine with the M203 attachment, and a scoped M14 EBR to deal with the critters. And a flamethrower.

Note to self....may need to add to this list.

[stormlion1]

The Continent is trying to kill people. Its not exactly safe. But I bet it would be fun! If they actually let you have guns there.

[Targan]

The Continent is trying to kill people. Its not exactly safe. But I bet it would be fun! If they actually let you have guns there.

We make do without guns. We just beat the dangerous creatures to death with our over-sized wedding tackle.

[Legbreaker]

Nah, Australian's have normal sized wedding tackle - it's everyone else that's undersized. ;)

[aspqrz]

Watch out for the Wombats! (No, *not* the British AT Recoilless Rifle)

They're not called "The Bulldozers of the Bush" for nothing ... and they are evidently bloody fast on their hairy little feet!

Phil

[pmulcahy11b]

Watch out for the Wombats! (No, *not* the British AT Recoilless Rifle)

They're not called "The Bulldozers of the Bush" for nothing ... and they are evidently bloody fast on their hairy little feet!

Phil

Now, what would you really be more afraid of? A bunch of little hairy sharpy teeth midgets, or a section of Wombat gunners sighting in on you?

[Targan]

They're not called "The Bulldozers of the Bush" for nothing ... and they are evidently bloody fast on their hairy little feet!

And their poo is square. Odd.
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[Cdnwolf]

And their poo is square. Odd.
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Puhlease....

Even Logan is afraid of meeting one of these...

[LT. Ox]

Puhlease....

Even Logan is afraid of meeting one of these...

So am I! Really bad critter, but it is environmentally nice it leaves no residue it eats it all..

[Legbreaker]

Really...
Is that all you've got?
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[StainlessSteelCynic]

Puhlease....

Even Logan is afraid of meeting one of these...

Puhlease, we have these,

http://chockstone.smugmug.com/photos/271751325_trve8-L.jpg

Just as much trouble at a third the size.
There's a reason we keep them isolated in Tasmania...
Just like we do with Legbreaker...

[LT. Ox]

Just as much trouble at a third the size.
There's a reason we keep them isolated in Tasmania...
Just like we do with Legbreaker...
Now I understand!

[Legbreaker]

Yeah, I've been stuck on this island without parole. Last time I was let out was five years ago for 4 days.
The mainland is still recovering...

[StainlessSteelCynic]

Yeah, the UN told us we have to give Leg time off for good behaviour.
When we told 'em that for us good behaviour is going to the pub, getting pissed, spewing over the place, pissing on the police wagon, propositioning the sheilas, soupin' up the Monaro and then driving 50 miles to the next pub while stealing a few jumbucks and drainin' the goon bag along the way just to do it all again, they told us to keep him locked up for longer!

And they called us uncivilized brutes...

I think they might be right?

[Legbreaker]

We're civilised, we've just taken it to the next level!

[LT. Ox]

We're civilised, we've just taken it to the next level!

Which is of course not a good thing but it seems you are the example of what happens to the Irish with out rules.
Now me I am the truly civilized Irishman, I carry a handgun not a stick made from a tree root and I drink Scotch.
Pffft

[Legbreaker]

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[StainlessSteelCynic]

There's anecdotal claims of Wedgies* attacking helicopters that strayed too close to nests during the breeding season.

* No not the thing bullies do with someone's undies, it's local slang for the Aquila audax AKA the Wedge-tailed Eagle. Aquila audax is latin for audacious eagle, need we say more?

However... for anyone thinking "Ah that's just the Aussies talking shit again**" I offer the following: -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeCUbz8FB6A Wedgie harassing a paraglider
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xElYBEpHiu4 Wedgies going in for a kill on a roo - yes, they will gang-up to kill large animals.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMj6AqcDBU4 A wedgie slightly miffed that it has to share its airspace with a mere human in an ultra-light glider
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxDxcrusAew Wedgie harassing an RC plane - make sure to watch the part starting at the 43 second mark


** Okay, so we do, but in this case, we aren't exaggerating!

[Legbreaker]

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[LT. Ox]

Immigration; Now I was born a dumb Irish kid which is god and bad. Good when yer dumb ye never know how much trouble yer in, bad yer always in trouble.
'bout the proceeding posts, is this the Stainless/Legbreaker method to restrict the very desire?

[StainlessSteelCynic]

Immigration; Now I was born a dumb Irish kid which is god and bad. Good when yer dumb ye never know how much trouble yer in, bad yer always in trouble.
'bout the proceeding posts, is this the Stainless/Legbreaker method to restrict the very desire?

:D


I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I may incriminate myself :p

[Legbreaker]

Just weedin' out the weak. You know, like those pesky 'mericans. ;)

[Cdnwolf]

Just weedin' out the weak. You know, like those pesky 'mericans. ;)

;) So us Canucks are safe?

[Legbreaker]

;) So us Canucks are safe?

Absolutely! More the merrier. My old Company Sergeant Major was Canadian. Drank like a fish and was one of the most laid back men I've ever known.

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[LT. Ox]

Absolutely! More the merrier. My old Company Sergeant Major was Canadian. Drank like a fish and was one of the most laid back men I've ever known.

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Now that is too funny eh!

[Targan]

There's anecdotal claims of Wedgies attacking helicopters that strayed too close to nests during the breeding season.

I once did a driving run taking a truck-trailer rig from Perth to Brisbane, a load of caravans on the way there and a load of boat hulls on the way back (about 8700km round trip as the crow flies, add a couple of thousand kilometers for my trip). I saw many wedgies during the trip, and many times I saw them standing over some piece of roadkill. They would see me from many kilometers away and they wouldn't budge. They'd actually stare down the truck, like they were daring me to try and take their meal. They are seriously bold, proud birds.

The Australian Army's 2nd Cavalry Regiment's mascot is a wedge tailed eagle named Courage. The mascots gain NCO ranks with their years of service. Courage is a Warrant Officer.

Courage the eagle posted to Townsville after 22 years in Darwin (http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/northern-territory/courage-the-eagle-posted-to-townsville-after-22-years-in-darwin/story-fnk0b1zt-1227102830113)

[Legbreaker]

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[RN7]

So Legreaker how big is the Yowie? Surely its not bigger than Bigfoot!

[CDAT]

I once did a driving run taking a truck-trailer rig from Perth to Brisbane, a load of caravans on the way there and a load of boat hulls on the way back (about 8700km round trip as the crow flies, add a couple of thousand kilometers for my trip). I saw many wedgies during the trip, and many times I saw them standing over some piece of roadkill. They would see me from many kilometers away and they wouldn't budge. They'd actually stare down the truck, like they were daring me to try and take their meal. They are seriously bold, proud birds.

The Australian Army's 2nd Cavalry Regiment's mascot is a wedge tailed eagle named Courage. The mascots gain NCO ranks with their years of service. Courage is a Warrant Officer.

Courage the eagle posted to Townsville after 22 years in Darwin (http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/northern-territory/courage-the-eagle-posted-to-townsville-after-22-years-in-darwin/story-fnk0b1zt-1227102830113)

So side question, is a warrant officer an NCO? It is one of those ranks that lots of groups use in different ways. Here in the US, it is basically a technical officer.

[Legbreaker]

At least that big, but depends on the species.

[Targan]

So side question, is a warrant officer an NCO? It is one of those ranks that lots of groups use in different ways. Here in the US, it is basically a technical officer.

Sergeant Major. Here's how it works in the Australian Army:

Australian Army Other Ranks (http://www.army.gov.au/Our-people/Ranks/Other-Ranks)

[StainlessSteelCynic]

In regard to Yowies, there's been two sizes typically claimed with a third size less often reported.
That is: -
1. smaller than a human adult but larger than a human child.
2. same size as a human adult and
3. larger than a human adult

Generally the sizes reported are 1 and 2 with number 3 being less common but some reports have claimed the tallest Yowies as in the 2 metre range.
It really comes down to what part of the country you're in as the local Aboriginal myths seem to play some part in what size creature people "see".

Of more interest to me is the difference in alleged behaviour, some reports have the Yowie as shy and easily frightened off while the human sized versions are often reported as projecting a malevolent presence and appear to have been spying on or otherwise checking out the humans who (claim to) have seen them.

What I find particularly interesting is that some Aboriginal groups have legends of fighting against tribes of "hairy men" when the Aboriginal peoples initially settled in Australia. The legends sound a little like an early human ancestor or perhaps proto-human and apparently the Aboriginals fought them to extinction so as to claim the land for themselves. I'm inclined to think that if these legends are correct then the Yowie is probably some sort of cultural memory of these earlier peoples.

[Legbreaker]

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[CDAT]

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I do not care if that is a super small snake or not, but there is something very wrong with this (if I was a betting man that would not be my bet).

[Legbreaker]

It's the real thing.
http://www.livescience.com/53701-snake-loses-battle-against-spider-photo.html
Even video of it.
http://www.livescience.com/53700-snake-caught-in-daddy-longlegs-spider-s-web-raw-video.html#ooid=Q5MHh1MDE6efoWSB5vs96qn1IC_cSI0Q

[StainlessSteelCynic]

:p
I'm thinking CDAT meant something like It ain't normal and it ain't natural for spiders to catch snakes. The world is ending! type of "wrong" when he said that :D




And yeah, it was a small snake but still... It ain't normal and it ain't natural for spiders to catch snakes. The world is ending!

[CDAT]

:p
I'm thinking CDAT meant something like It ain't normal and it ain't natural for spiders to catch snakes. The world is ending! type of "wrong" when he said that :D




And yeah, it was a small snake but still... It ain't normal and it ain't natural for spiders to catch snakes. The world is ending!

Yes, this is the type wrong I was talking about. Not saying it is fake, as I believe you that it is real. The fact that it is not the world is ending breaking news says something. Also when I said small snake I was talking about one that is the size of a large worm, or at least what a large worm is here. I am not sure I want to see how big your worms get and what they have to protect them self with.

This got me thinking about a conversation I had years ago with a few guys. We had one guy bragging about how big his home state of Texas was, and all that. When we had one of the other guys say that if you cut his home state in half then Texas would be the third largest state of the Union. Kind of shut him up, so what is the point of all this, you may be asking. Just remember it can always be bigger/badder or worse in some way. But if you ever find the thing that makes the Australians say no way, I want nothing to do with it. I only briefly got to serve with some of them in Iraq and they were the craziest guys I have ever seen. If it gives them pause, I am not sure that I even want to know about it.

[Legbreaker]

I am not sure I want to see how big your worms get and what they have to protect them self with.

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:D

[CDAT]

So I am sitting here with my family and on comes Crocodile Dundee II. At the point he goes back to Australia, and his buddy said something like civilians would not last three days. Made me think I three days may be on the generous side. But on the side what do you all think of Crocodile Dundee? Is it even semi accurate? Or total out there?

[Targan]

I've seen some crazy, crazy shit during my times in the great Australian outback. To be honest most Australians aren't rough, tough supermen, but that's because most Australians are born and bred city dwellers who don't have a clue about even the basics of outback survival. People who were born and raised in the bush, they're a different breed. I feel I can say these things without bias, because I'm a city dweller who has spent time in the bush and been around real outback people and spent time as an Army Reservist. I won't say I could just walk off into the Never-Never and survive for years, but I wouldn't be one of the typical Australian city people who would literally die within two days of being dumped in the middle of nowhere.

People from other countries who have spent time in similar environments would probably do ok at least for a while in the Australian outback, particularly if they asked the right questions of those with experience before they went bush. Australia has a huge variety of climate types too, so there's no one-size-fits-all skill set that will get you through. The south coast of Western Australia, large parts of Tasmania (where Legbreaker lives) and parts of Victoria have cold, wet forests and woodlands and particularly in the case of Tasmania there's some pretty rugged terrain. Exposure would be the biggest problem in those regions. As is widely known, large parts of Australia are at least arid, at worst full-blown desert, out there if you can't find water you're doomed real fast. Then up in the tropical zone there's thousands and thousands of klicks of coastal mangrove, swamps and tropical rainforest. Anywhere near bodies of water up there you have to be really careful about crocodiles, but there are other things that'll have a crack at you too, including feral razorback pigs and water buffalo. And of course all across the nation there are any number of venomous snakes and spiders that don't leave you with much time to seek treatment before you die in misery and agony.

Every year there are cases of people that drive out into the middle of bloody nowhere, woefully under-prepared, and then their vehicle breaks down and the silly buggers start walking. A day, a week, a month later the Aboriginal trackers eventually find their corpses, in various stages of desiccation, pitifully curled up under a bush or whatever shade they could find.

[Legbreaker]

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[TrailerParkJawa]

I've seen some crazy, crazy shit during my times in the great Australian outback. To be honest most Australians aren't rough, tough supermen, but that's because most Australians are born and bred city dwellers who don't have a clue about even the basics of outback survival. People who were born and raised in the bush, they're a different breed. I feel I can say these things without bias, because I'm a city dweller who has spent time in the bush and been around real outback people and spent time as an Army Reservist. I won't say I could just walk off into the Never-Never and survive for years, but I wouldn't be one of the typical Australian city people who would literally die within two days of being dumped in the middle of nowhere.


I just got back from a vacation in Australia. I visited Melbourne, Cairns, and Sydney. What I observed matches what you say. Most Australians are city or suburb types. The country seems to be a bit of a nanny-state with warning sings that border on ridiculous; there was a sign on a strip club warning that you might see situations inside that may offend. Like wow?!

My dad spent a lot of time in Alice Springs in the 90's and his descriptions of the folks that live there match people you might meet in Nevada or rural America. Tough folks that mind their own business..

Overall though I really liked it. Melbourne and Cairns in particular. I was stuck however that in the T2K timeline some of these cities probably got nuked and it represents most of Australias actually population.

[Legbreaker]

I was stuck however that in the T2K timeline some of these cities probably got nuked and it represents most of Australias actually population.

Not really a lot of targets here in Aus though www.forum.juhlin.com/showthread.php?t=1254
You are right though about the population - something like 80% live in urban areas, 60% (approx) live in the capital cities where the majority of likely targets are located.
On the positive side of the coin however, the cities are spread over a wide area - it would take probably a dozen warheads to adequately cover just Sydney (takes up to two hours to drive from one side to the other, a lot longer in peak traffic times).

[StainlessSteelCynic]

Yeah, we tend to build cities horizontally more so than vertically so even though you'll find plenty of commercial (and even industrial buildings) rising dozens of floors into the sky, there's never been as much of a desire for masses of high rise apartments and so on. They do exist, but not clumped together like the "estates" or "projects" found in the UK and USA respectively.

[Targan]

Yeah, we tend to build cities horizontally more so than vertically so even though you'll find plenty of commercial (and even industrial buildings) rising dozens of floors into the sky, there's never been as much of a desire for masses of high rise apartments and so on. They do exist, but not clumped together like the "estates" or "projects" found in the UK and USA respectively.

True, but we're just starting to see a concerted effort by state governments to promote "urban infill" and higher-density living. Here in Perth inner city living has been heavily promoted over the last 10 years (as I'm sure you've seen, Stainless) with accompanying highrise, but obviously we're still a long way from the kind of population densities seen in our nearby Asian neighbour nations. I live just outside of the inner city in a two-storey townhouse myself.

[Legbreaker]

And this is BEFORE the post nuke, radiation induced mutations...
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[ChalkLine]

I've just moved from Tasmania to Queensland. It's hot here, we're getting regular 35ºc weeks and it's only spring. It's going to be a bumper year for bush fires. However the snakes here are impressive. I thought the filthiest place for snakes was south west West Australia (in the salt swamps there's a tiger snake for every square metre and yours truly went through it on foot back in 2004) but I've been told that's nothing compared to near waterway here

[Legbreaker]

I went the other direction a couple of decades ago. MUCH prefer the cooler temps here in Tas than the heat up there!

[Targan]

It's going to be a bumper year for bush fires.

That's a spooky bit of prophecy.

There are currently MASSIVE fires raging in Queensland. My thoughts are with everyone in the fire zone, and I wish them the best of luck and hope all are safe.

[Legbreaker]

There are currently MASSIVE fires raging in Queensland. My thoughts are with everyone in the fire zone, and I wish them the best of luck and hope all are safe.

And it's barely even the start of the season....

Hmm, fires. Now there's an thought for the ANZAC book.
No water bombing aircraft from the northern hemisphere, plus limited fuel for fire trucks, a drought, and enemy agents on an arson campaign. I feel an idea coming on...

[ChalkLine]

That's a spooky bit of prophecy.

There are currently MASSIVE fires raging in Queensland. My thoughts are with everyone in the fire zone, and I wish them the best of luck and hope all are safe.

Yeah, 36ºc+ temperatures and the wind is the strongest I've seen outside of heavy storms. It's like it's straight out of a furnace. I thought we were going to lose the roof.

After Christmas you'll see Tasmania go up as well. Lots of fuel on the ground

[Legbreaker]

After Christmas you'll see Tasmania go up as well. Lots of fuel on the ground

We've had a bit of rain here recently which has damped things down a bit. There'll be fires of course (always are), but I doubt they'll have the intensity of a couple of years ago.
Of course the greenies are doing their best to increase the fuel load by locking up even more of the state from proper management, so it's just a matter of time...

[Olefin]

And it's barely even the start of the season....

Hmm, fires. Now there's an thought for the ANZAC book.
No water bombing aircraft from the northern hemisphere, plus limited fuel for fire trucks, a drought, and enemy agents on an arson campaign. I feel an idea coming on...

Now that is a real idea - how do you get destruction of cities without a nuke - well one hell of an out of control fire (i.e. see recent fires in CA) with greatly reduced fire fighting capabilities - helped on by say high winds - would definitely do the trick (add in the use of explosives to create fire breaks and it really gets the job done)

[Legbreaker]

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[Legbreaker]

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[Legbreaker]

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[StainlessSteelCynic]

Hehehehe
More fodder to ensure Australia terrifies the rest of the world! :D

https://www.awesomeinventions.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/huge-hail.jpg

https://www.awesomeinventions.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/snake-toilet.jpg

ALWAYS check the dunny before ya sit down!

[Legbreaker]

I'm more concerned about the snake in the carton a couple of posts back. I mean, I can always head out back to the tree, but tinnies can be in short supply at times!

[StainlessSteelCynic]

I'm more concerned about the snake in the carton a couple of posts back. I mean, I can always head out back to the tree, but tinnies can be in short supply at times!
Too true! And having the bloody snake in the carton means you can't drink which means you don't need to piss which means you don't need the dunny anyway! :p

[Legbreaker]

See, there's a good reason why we're not worried about invasion.
https://youtu.be/0Wo4sEMoauU

[ChalkLine]

After Christmas you'll see Tasmania go up as well. Lots of fuel on the ground

Well, I called that one. Unfortunately

[Legbreaker]

Well, I called that one. Unfortunately

Yeah, it's pretty damn horrific down south from me. The worst of it isn't getting shown by the media either.
Had helicopters flying over my place for the past few weeks from hot spot to hotspot. Expectation is some of the fires won't go out until we've had a good soaking of several days (at least) of rain. Forecast is looking bleak and the state is VERY dry - only been 3mm of rain here since Christmas (in one go) and not much more before then.
On a plus side I don't believe anyone has died (yet) and there's only one confirmed house lost with a suspicion of three more (haven't been able to access the area to confirm yet).

[ChalkLine]

My mate James lives down in the Huon and only just had his property saved by the firies.

[Legbreaker]

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[Legbreaker]

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[StainlessSteelCynic]

Is it bad of me that I can't stop laughing at your latest post Leg?

[Legbreaker]

Well you know what happens if you don't....

[swaghauler]

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Is this a case of I'll show you mine if you show me yours? Encountering a guy with a rifle in my neck of the woods in America is no big deal. Smart really, when you live in bear country like we do. I just ask him if he wants to do some target shooting. :)

It's when you encounter them on the street in Pittsburgh or Philly that I get nervous because you KNOW those guys don't know how to properly handle a firearm. Like that punk at the truck stop in New York a few years ago who tried to rob me with a F***ing BB GUN! He thought I'd be impressed by a PLASTIC Beretta BB gun. I was already in a bad mood and he was SADLY MISTAKEN! PUNKS! :mad:

[Legbreaker]

This is more a case of who than what they're carrying....
https://youtu.be/N_YaZ-emcPc

[swaghauler]

This is more a case of who than what they're carrying....
https://youtu.be/N_YaZ-emcPc

Lol nice. Jeep owners..."Trail Rated" my ass (shakes head slowly)!

He'd just sit on the side of the road and let me pass by if he knew what was good for him. I'd pit my long-nosed 86" Hi-Rise Pete with my C-15 (600+ hp) Cat, 18-Speed, and HD 3-axle rear end against his POS Kenworth 60" flattop with the (450hp) red-top Cummins ANY DAY! IF he could EVEN CATCH Me on a road that flat and open, he wouldn't want to duel with me. Hell, even my "Aussie Bumper" (we call them "moose goosers") is bigger and nicer than his... AND he's actually Australian! I beat him in EVERY WAY. Longer, heavier, more horsepower, more torq, and they didn't call me "Road Rage" during RESTORE HOPE for nothing!

[StainlessSteelCynic]

The funniest part for me is that I haven't even seen Wolf Creek or Wolf Creek 2 but the movie franchise is so well know here that I instantly recognized the actor & what role he was playing.

And I'm still chuckling at that image. :D

[Legbreaker]

The funniest part for me is that I haven't even seen Wolf Creek or Wolf Creek 2 but the movie franchise is so well know here that I instantly recognized the actor & what role he was playing.

I haven't seen either of them, or the television series!
https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Mick_Taylor

[swaghauler]

I haven't seen either of them, or the television series!
https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Mick_Taylor

We had a movie here called Joy Ride that had the same premise. I haven't seen it either. However, we have some of the most dangerous people on Earth driving the highways of America...

https://youtu.be/K3My8MPaJos

[Legbreaker]

...we have some of the most dangerous people on Earth driving the highways of America...

Well what do you expect? You drive on the wrong side of the road!!!

[swaghauler]

Well what do you expect? You drive on the wrong side of the road!!!

Lol!:D