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James Langham2
04-25-2017, 02:41 PM
Here is an early draft of another project - the US 9th Division. Please feel free to nitpick.

The Dark
04-25-2017, 04:57 PM
I realize this will feel incredibly wrong to people used to the Queen's English, but the US Army would not have an Armoured Gun System (I'll give a pass to the discussion of an anti-armour platoon, but since the program name is a proper name, it should be Armored Gun System).


"There were significant opponents of the motorised concept however on both sides, some arguing for an increase in heavy forces as the 9th was to light to fight armour" - should be too

"The division kicked it’s heels and trained hard until January 1997" - should be its (no apostrophe)

"The FAVs were less of a success. These were the Chenowith dune buggies" - Chenowth, not Chenowith

"In 1995 with the outbreak of the Sin-Soviet War" - Sino-Soviet, although Sin-Soviet makes me chuckle

cawest
04-25-2017, 07:10 PM
I only had time to look over a little bit.

one thing to look at was your short ranged Artillery.

how about towed old pack 75s most bases have 4 to 7 as salute guns. the hummer could tow one of them with a four or five creates of ammo.

or trailer mounted 107mm rockers
(china's supplied or traded make it up)

or trailer mounted 70mm rockets.
take pods from AH-1/64 or uh-60s they are mostly 19 round pods but groups of 7 round pods could be used. weld them to a trailer old school and put a battery to them..and step back.

James Langham2
04-26-2017, 01:15 AM
I realize this will feel incredibly wrong to people used to the Queen's English, but the US Army would not have an Armoured Gun System (I'll give a pass to the discussion of an anti-armour platoon, but since the program name is a proper name, it should be Armored Gun System).


"There were significant opponents of the motorised concept however on both sides, some arguing for an increase in heavy forces as the 9th was to light to fight armour" - should be too

"The division kicked it’s heels and trained hard until January 1997" - should be its (no apostrophe)

"The FAVs were less of a success. These were the Chenowith dune buggies" - Chenowth, not Chenowith

"In 1995 with the outbreak of the Sin-Soviet War" - Sino-Soviet, although Sin-Soviet makes me chuckle

All corrected thanks.

James Langham2
04-26-2017, 01:18 AM
I only had time to look over a little bit.

one thing to look at was your short ranged Artillery.

how about towed old pack 75s most bases have 4 to 7 as salute guns. the hummer could tow one of them with a four or five creates of ammo.

or trailer mounted 107mm rockers
(china's supplied or traded make it up)

or trailer mounted 70mm rockets.
take pods from AH-1/64 or uh-60s they are mostly 19 round pods but groups of 7 round pods could be used. weld them to a trailer old school and put a battery to them..and step back.

I can see the 75mm being used more when the training units convert. The 9th has a full artillery compliment when it deploys so is unlikely to need extra, especially as it adds a new ammunition to the logistic chain.

I am adding a note about the pods though.

Draq
04-26-2017, 06:54 AM
Look good so far, keep it up

James Langham2
04-26-2017, 02:12 PM
Well, it's been a day when I have done lots of train travel so here is a fuller, illustrated version.

cawest
04-26-2017, 04:05 PM
Well, it's been a day when I have done lots of train travel so here is a fuller, illustrated version.


thanks for the call out.. that was cool.

The Dark
04-26-2017, 05:59 PM
Well, it's been a day when I have done lots of train travel so here is a fuller, illustrated version.

I like the effects on the photographs. The black-and-white with streaking looks nice.

On figure 7's caption: "Note the stored kit strapped onto ever available surface" - should be every

Page 8: "The original vehicle was known as “The Thingi11”" - there's an extra character in the superscript.

Adm.Lee
04-28-2017, 10:49 AM
Nice. The art adds an interesting flavor.

A few nits, mostly on page 2.
1st para, 1st sentence: "The 9th structure" should be "9th's"
2nd para, only 1 r in Sheridan
3rd para, should be "ground-mounted automatic..."
4th & 5th paragraphs could be merged, and the sentences restructured. I'd split the last sentence of the 4th, since you're talking about both the division and a brigade at the same time. Add in that the division was alerted for the 1990-91 Gulf War, to add some chronology.
The following paragraphs with the 81st Brigade seem to jump about a bit.
Where did the 199th Light Brigade go, and was it still motorized when it was deployed? Perhaps add something to its description.

Sorry if I seem pedantic, I used to be an editor.

James Langham2
04-29-2017, 12:31 AM
Nice. The art adds an interesting flavor.

A few nits, mostly on page 2.
1st para, 1st sentence: "The 9th structure" should be "9th's"
2nd para, only 1 r in Sheridan
3rd para, should be "ground-mounted automatic..."
4th & 5th paragraphs could be merged, and the sentences restructured. I'd split the last sentence of the 4th, since you're talking about both the division and a brigade at the same time. Add in that the division was alerted for the 1990-91 Gulf War, to add some chronology.
The following paragraphs with the 81st Brigade seem to jump about a bit.
Where did the 199th Light Brigade go, and was it still motorized when it was deployed? Perhaps add something to its description.

Sorry if I seem pedantic, I used to be an editor.

Pedantic is good, I appreciate the effort in reading and finding

Adm.Lee
04-29-2017, 10:26 AM
Good, 'cause I kept thinking about this. I seem to have formed habits by reading over my sons' school papers. Both are in high school this year, and one is in AP English.

p.3, 1st para."It was felt that although the division was prepared for a European role it was not the ideal unit so mechanised and armoured units took priority although the 2-1 Infantry, 2-23 Infantry and 2-47 Infantry were detached and became the 199th Infantry Brigade (Lt). The division kicked its heels and trained hard until January 1997 when the order came to prepare to deploy to the Persian Gulf. At this time the units that had become the 199th Infantry were replaced. This deployment was rather ironic as its primary mission was with I Corps for a Pacific region contingency mission with a secondary mission of reinforcing NATO."

This paragraph kind of contradicts itself, if the division was prepared for Europe, but its primary mission was to the Pacific.

Were the 3 separated battalions not motorized, or were they de-motorized when they were detached? If they hadn't yet been motorized, maybe that could be mentioned on the previous page; if motorization was a work in progress. What units replaced them, new creations or transfers from somewhere else? What's the irony, I could infer that the 199th went over the Pacific, is that what happened?

Were the deployment orders and detachment of the 199th simultaneous?

Further on, the 3 battalions mentioned above aren't in the 1995 OOB on page 10, before their detachment.

Aside: FWIW, I'd long thought that the 9th was one of the divisions experimentally motorized before deployment to Europe in WW2, but Wikipedia tells me I'm wrong. One of its brigades was more or less amphibious in Vietnam, though, I got that right.

Louied
04-29-2017, 10:30 AM
James,

Great work, just throwing out an idea though. Instead of having an Iranian Army Bde attached maybe something like KATUSAs ? I was looking at pics of the current Iraqi and Kurdish forces in combat against ISIS and the idea dawned on me. Some of them looked very "Americanized".

James Langham2
04-29-2017, 10:37 AM
Good, 'cause I kept thinking about this. I seem to have formed habits by reading over my sons' school papers. Both are in high school this year, and one is in AP English.

"

This paragraph kind of contradicts itself, if the division was prepared for Europe, but its primary mission was to the Pacific.

Were the 3 separated battalions not motorized, or were they de-motorized when they were detached? If they hadn't yet been motorized, maybe that could be mentioned on the previous page; if motorization was a work in progress. What units replaced them, new creations or transfers from somewhere else? What's the irony, I could infer that the 199th went over the Pacific, is that what happened?

Were the deployment orders and detachment of the 199th simultaneous?

Further on, the 3 battalions mentioned above aren't in the 1995 OOB on page 10, before their detachment.

Aside: FWIW, I'd long thought that the 9th was one of the divisions experimentally motorized before deployment to Europe in WW2, but Wikipedia tells me I'm wrong. One of its brigades was more or less amphibious in Vietnam, though, I got that right.

I will clarify these bits

James Langham2
04-29-2017, 10:39 AM
James,

Great work, just throwing out an idea though. Instead of having an Iranian Army Bde attached maybe something like KATUSAs ? I was looking at pics of the current Iraqi and Kurdish forces in combat against ISIS and the idea dawned on me. Some of them looked very "Americanized".

I did something like that for the 29th (and the 87th and 101st have Kurdish auxilliaries - see my foreign troops article [shameless plugs]) and I'm not sure it would work as well here, I'm not sure the Iranians would go for it and the skill base would be very different.

Adm.Lee
04-29-2017, 10:40 AM
Please don't feel that I'm jumping on you or this particular piece.

James Langham2
04-29-2017, 10:48 AM
Please don't feel that I'm jumping on you or this particular piece.

Idon't in fact I appreciate it - it improves the articles