I understand how you feel, in 2006 my buddy Fang (cat) a cranky but affectionate friend of 16 years had to be put to sleep. I was present the whole time, didn't want him to die alone. Never cried so damn much in my life. Still to this day I tear up, as I am now while typing this. I now have two Buddies "Max" short for maximum destruction.... a unusually quiet Siamese cat, and "Sam" Short for Samurai..... an unusually efficient hunter killer orange tabby mix (he does not play with his prey, stalks and kills it quick) They are from different litters but about 8 weeks apart.
They are Buds, well all are.
My deepest heartfelt condolences go out too you, and so my best of wishes also in finding or being found by your next feline buddy.
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