Having lost 2 cats in 2 years (first one, Speaker-to-Vegetables, 14, to Chinese gluten contamination, the 2nd, Earl, 6 years, to a genetic-defect sudden onset renal failure) I can understand your feeling. I still keep on my desk a 3-year old calendar my wife made for me with their pictures on it.
Our first trip afterward to the shelter to look at the inmates ended quickly when I started getting all choked up and wanting to take them all home.
At some point, when you get tired of watching out of the corner of your eye for the "get-underfoot-and-trip" routine that never comes, you may wish to put yourself under the care and possession of a distant cousin of Butthead. There were lots of cats dumped by owners when the economy got rough. We're tending a colony of ferals and "friendlies" and trying to get spay/neutering for as many as possible.
When the time comes, another cat will adopt you. Just practice looking cute and make sure you groom yourself properly.
Till then, remember your fuzzy friend and talk about him. It helps. Peace.