You Know You Are a Cavalry Trooper When....
You own a Black Stetson and a saber.
You actually know how to use the saber.
When you are at the Bierfest and finish each liter with a cry of "CHARGE!"
When painting the barracks doors involves red and white paint.
When helpless rocks get coated with red and white paint.
When sleeping infantrymen wake up to discover their Bradleys now sport red and white paint jobs...
When you wake up the other battalions with bugle calls throughout the day.
When you have a squadron formation, you can spot the newbies because they are the ones not wearing Black Stetsons.
Instead of the issue web belt, you wear a black leather belt with a honking big brass US buckle.
And you are wearing a Buck Folding Hunter on the belt.
Sleeping Canadians get deluged with a barrage of CS Grenades at 0230 in the morning.
When the Range Safety Officer enters your tank to clear the breech of the main gun...and when he opens it, an empty bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 slides out.
When you have a roll out alert and a shortage of TCs...and putting the inflatable love doll in a flak vest and a CVC and strapping her into the TC's seat seems like a really great idea.
When you are on a field-ex and your tank breaks down in front of a gausthaus...long enough for the loader to run in and buy a couple of twelve packs....
When having a "platoon meeting" involves everyone in the ready room, at least two kegs of beer, snacks and the world's largest collection of porno tapes.
When your platoon votes Seka as the woman they would most like to find broke down on the side of the road.
When your tank breaks down, near a Woman's College, and it takes two weeks for the recovery crew to find you...and you have difficulty mounting your tank.....
When a fist fight breaks out at the Enlisted Club in Grafenhower, and the MPs will not enter unless they get M-16s and live ammunition....
Finally, you know you are a Cavalry Trooper when your squadron whips the snot out of every unit it meets on field-ex after field-ex; you leave the infantry puking because their candy asses can't hang with the big dawgs at the EM club. MPs cross to the other side of the road, because they know that if they hassle you about your Setson, every other cavalry trooper will arrive to "discuss" the matter. And when you see the ole red and white guidon pass by, your back stretches that much straighter, the ole gleam reenters your bloodshot eye and your heart beats faster, cause when the bugler blows the call....and a thousand voices scream out "CHARGE!!!!" You will rattle windows and let the other line pukes know who really rules the battlefield!
