Dying isn't easy... anyone who thinks it is, should come have a talk with me. 23 July 2008 i was in a car accident that cut off both of my legs, collapsed my left lung, broke my left shoulder blade, broke every rib on the left side of my chest... i died on the operating table that day for 40+ minutes. When i got out of the operating room i was awake for about half and hour before i slipped into a 10 day coma. During the coma i kept stop breathing... trying to slip away in my sleep. My parents had the put me on life support. I died on the operating table two more times on 26 July 2008.
When i awoke from the coma, my so-called wife called from the UK and said, "I love you.. just get well enough to get on a plane to get home to me and the boys, and everything will be alright."
the nurses had said that just minutes before that call, I just laid there.. and didn't do a damn thing. But the moment that phone call was over, it was like a switch had been flipped. I reached up to the trapeze bar and pulled myself completely off the bed with my right arm. One of the only two limbs that I had that wasn't screwed up. All the different drugs they gave me caused me to go crazy and forget who i was, where i was, or who my own mother was. When ever a female tried to touch me (inculding my mother) i would scream at her "Don't touch me you bitch, I'm married!" it was right after that, that the nurses treated me like my shit was made of solid gold. namely because they hoped that if their husband was in my situation... they'd have said the same thing.
The doctor's said it'd be a year to two before i'd be ready to start walking again... or be able to get on a plane. My mother was telling everyone she believed i would just stay in the wheelchair and give up. But I didn't. I fought to learn to walk again... i was on parallel bars by mid Sept. 2008, started on crutches by mid-October 2008. And was released on 19 November 2008, only to find an email saying "i want a divorce."
There are days I really wished they would have let me slip away in my sleep... namely when i miss my sons... or when I am so incredibly alone in this apartment by myself.
Force of will allows someone to push past the pain, and do amazing things... and i'm proof of it. Or could be, that I am just to damn stupid to laydown and die...
What do you guys think?
