Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rifleman
*corrected*
The DIA station chief in Toronto is currently trying to steal the recipe from the closing plant by bribing the chef, but what he doesn't know is that the GRU has dispatched a spetnaz team, disguised as the Royal Canadian Mounted Police with truck scales to stop the twinkee trucks and steal samples.
Meanwhile, the KGB is planning to assassinate everyone that's ever read the ingredients on a twinkee (since they can't have them, no one can) and MI5 has identified a spy, from Wojo's armaments, who is going to make Wojokies in a garage shop in Krakow for a fraction of the cost. The CIA is behind the other agencies because the agency head was busy sending 200+ emails a day to middle aged cougars and mistakenly thought the rush was for ding-dongs, which no one cares about, except for the secret police in Zaire.
Elsewhere, because the DIA refused to tell anyone of their efforts, the commander of the local Vermont National Guard 86th Armored Brigade chooses to invade Canada. A column of M60A3s from the armory front lawn and experimental LAV75s cross the border, fueled by alcohol from vermonts plentyful cornfields.
A battle unfolds as the tankers see a twinkie truck on a scale and get into a shoot out with the RCMP clad spetnaz, however the only casualties are the cream fillings and a scale, crushed by an untrained LAV driver.
Meanwhile, no one from the Canadian army responds to the armored invasion as they have females in their units, its shower time on the training schedule, and a twinkie can not compare the other wholesome goodness of the Canadian army.
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mean while a small squad of dismounts broke into the hostess factory and stole not only the recipe but also 5 crates of the last production run loaded them into a "liberated" civilian transport and are currently auctioning off the recipe.
currently the highest bid is from the KGB for $100,000,00.51