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Originally Posted by TiggerCCW UK
In a similar vein with stupid soldiers I heard about a fun one involving Mil Int here in NI in the early '80s. Apparently some of the green slime had discovered that if you thumb cocked the hammer on a Browning 9mm without chambering a round it would shoot pencils across the room. Some of the MI's had been playing around in the office like this when one of their colleagues walked in and decided to join in the fun. He drew his 9milly, racked the slide, dropped a pencil down the barrel and shot his mate through the arm with a 9mm and an HB pencil.
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And that is why you don't let Intel Types play with real weapons!
Seriously when I did one op in the Desert we had an Army Intel coupled with a Kuwaiti type attatched to us. We saw them take their M16s out of the plastic. And it still had that nice new M16 smell
they had no clue how to operate their issue weapons, that was the first time they had handled them out of the wrapper.
As for stupid officer tricks:
Lt at Infantry Training Battallion tries to grab a mortar round he let slip from his hand and go down the tube. He only lost a portion of his middle finger.
Lt. who tries to read a compass in the back of a Duece and a Half, while getting good body alignment holding the compass centerline, while he has bandoliers of ammo and grenades slung across his body ala John Wayne. No surprise we were lost for half the night. Then again that was the norm for that officer. thankfully we always knew where we were should the need arise if/when we needed to get unlost fast.
Lt. Calls for artillery fire on our pos as we break contact. We then withdraw through a mine field! Briliant leadership! As for the rounds out, his piss poor map skills saved us as we didn't even see or hear the impacts! I did speak with some of the canon crews a few months later who remembered the mission.
Captain takes a HQ element on a forced march <never force your HQ types especialy marching they just can't do it!> Ends up in an impact zone and now they have to double time out. LOVELY!
Ah yes, I am sure we can sit back and discuss the insanely stupid antics of officers all night, maybe we should compile out stories into a book, it would make a fortune!
Hmmmm, now I am toying with a character concept of a totaly messed up officer who just can't seem to do anything right, but somehow luck always saves his men.
