[Matt Wiser]

Fellows, after some RL issues, and having my laptop undergoing some maintenance, the story resumes. In case you're wondering, they did call the Pave Tack pod "Pave Drag" in the F-4 community.


335th TFS, 1150 Hours Central War Time:


Major Wiser came into the squadron's office and immediately went to change out of his flight gear. That done, he went to his office, and found his Exec waiting for him. “Mark,” the CO said. “You've heard about Frank, I gather?”

“Yeah, Boss,” Ellis said. “Word's gotten around. So far, he hasn't gone off half-cocked and done anything stupid.”

Nodding, Guru asked, “He back yet?”

“Not yet, but he should be in shortly,” the Exec said. “You going to ground him?”

Guru nodded again. “Tonight. Let him get sloppy drunk, then let him sleep it off tomorrow. Just hope he gets over it.”

“That may be asking too much, Boss,” Ellis pointed out. “Frank just saw his squadron command go down the shitter, and he may not be in the mood.”

“I know,” Guru said. “If he starts acting unusual, Doc can ground him for emotional instability. Frank gets shipped off for some tests, and then gets reassigned to a desk job someplace.” And that, Guru knew, solved his problem. Though he didn't relish inflicting Frank on a fellow officer.

“One can hope.”

“You're not alone,” said the CO. “Okay, anything else?”

“Yeah,” Ellis grinned. “How'd the F-20 ride go?”

“Look at it this way: it's a nice preview of what we'll be getting when the F-15E comes our way. Even if the -20 is a short-legged, souped-up F-5. Northrop pretty much squeezed the F-5 airframe dry and this is the result. I'll say this: it'll make a nasty aggressor, and those guys will be chomping at the bit to have F-20s at Nellis.”

“And Prada?” Asked the Exec. “You did fly with her?”

“No grudges, if that's what you're looking for. Nope. And she'll make a good IP when that opportunity opens up,” said Guru.

“Good to see General Yeager talent-scouting for that duty,” Ellis nodded.

“She's done her bit for God and Country,” Guru pointed out. “With her sister a POW in Cuba, she's earned time off the line. Okay, anything else?”

“Updated weather forecast,” the XO said, handing over a sheet. “No change for two days, then we get some clouds, and the next day? Plenty of rain.”

“And a nice first day in Texas for our British cousins,” Guru quipped. “Big change from sipping rum and cokes on the beach, and staring at either nurses from the base or stranded tourists, all in bikinis.”

Ellis let out a laugh. “Some hardship duty station,” he joked. “And that's it.”

“Thanks, Mark. Get yourself some chow, then some rest. Won't be long....”

“Until we're back at it,” Ellis finished.

“So true,” the CO said.


A few minutes later, Guru went over to the Mess Tent to get lunch for himself and Goalie. He got their order, then came back to the office. On the way back, he ran into his Ops Officer. “Don,” he nodded. “Anything on Frank yet?”

“Not yet,” Van Loan said. “His element did come back-both airplanes, and they're being debriefed as we speak.”

Just then, 1st Lt. Brian Slater, who was Major Carson's WSO, and the wing crew, Capt. Sean Hennings and 1st Lt. Melissa Brewster, came out. “Glad that's over,” Hennnigs said. “Never seen him like this before.”

“Frank being more of a hard-ass than usual?” Guru said. Was this the opening he'd been waiting for, and an excuse to ground him?

“No, Major,” Brewster said. “He went over every little detail you could think of, even if they weren't relevant to the strike.”

“Okay...” the CO nodded. “Did Goalie tell you what happened earlier?” He said with a very serious tone in his voice.

All three nodded as well. “She did, Major,” Slater said. “So Frank didn't get into the F-20, and he's taking it out on whoever he can.”

“Great,” Van Loan spat. “Sooner or later, somebody's going to get killed because of him.”

“That is what I'm afraid of,” Guru said. “Okay, Brian? If you have to confront him, as GIB to pilot, don't be afraid. If he wants you written up, I get it and it feeds the office shredder.” He then turned to Hennings and Brewster. “You two? If you have to do the same as wingman to lead? Don't hesitate. Same drill on anything he sends me. Comprende?”

“Clear as a bell, Major,” Hennings said, and his GIB nodded.

“Good. Now, Major Carson will be grounded tomorrow and probably the next day. Brian? You get at least tomorrow off.”

“Thanks, Boss,” Slater grinned. “One good thing to come out of it.”

“Sean? You and Melissa have to fly tomorrow, so....” Guru thought for a moment. He'd had five- and six-ships before, but without any hint of what was in the ATO.....”Okay, you two fly with Dave Golen and Flossy. He'll be glad to have you two.”

“Likewise,” Hennings replied with relief.

“Major?” Slater asked. “If I confront him, and remind him that if anything goes wrong, I die six feet behind him, is that okay?”

“It is,” Guru said firmly. “Brian, you have my permission to do just that if necessary. One other thing: do you want a new pilot?”

“Major, I'll stay, as crazy as that sounds. I know Major Carson, and if he got a new GIB, chances are, you'll be writing two letters. I'm the best chance of controlling him in the air that this squadron has,” replied Slater.

Guru understood. Though he was wondering what he'd have to do if Carson was shot down and some Congressional aide or Senate staff member came asking on behalf of Carson's dad what had happened... Guru decided then and there to have Ryan Blanchard's CSPs throw said staffer off base. “Your call. Just keep it in mind, okay? And remind him every time before you go out: no trolling for MiGs or SAMs.”

“Got it, Major.”

“All right. You all get yourselves fed. Still got a busy afternoon coming,” the CO reminded them.

“Yes, sir,” all three replied.

After the three had left, Van Loan turned to the CO. “Boss, why do I get the feeling something's going to happen involving Frank, and it'll be soon?”

“You're not the only one,” Guru replied.


Guru and the Ops Officer went into the squadron's office, and found Goalie on her way out. “Just who I was looking for,” she said. She saw the plastic bag and drink carriers in his hands. “So, today you're buying lunch.”

“I am,” Guru grinned.

“Good to know, and I do want to hear how the F-20 ride went.”

Van Loan headed for his office, while the CO and his GIB went into his. Over barbequed chicken sandwiches with cole slaw and lemonade, the two discussed the morning's events. “Too bad you didn't get a ride,” Guru said. “Nice little interceptor, and a potent bird for the Aggressors postwar.”

“Not flying anything not two-seater by design,” Goalie said firmly. Anything else and I'm out of a job.”

“Can't have that,” Guru laughed. “You talk with Brian and Melissa?”

Goalie nodded. “I did, before they left. Saw you talking with them-and Sean, too, before you came in. They'll watch Frank.”

“That's what they told me, so....” Guru paused as he took a bite out of his sandwich. “One of three things happens. First, Frank comes to me and asks for a transfer. Not very likely, but possible.”

“Second,” Goalie picked up. “He shapes up. Also unlikely, but lightning has been known to strike in the right place on occasion.”

The CO nodded again. “And last, he fucks up one last time, and then one of two things come about. Either he gets himself shot down, or....”

“Or he earns himself a General Court-Martial,” Goalie finished. “But you forgot one thing.” She barely concealed her glee at the latter.

“What?” Guru asked.

“Sundown Cunningham shows up two or three weeks from now and kicks Frank's ass off this base.”

Guru smiled, remembering the probability of that happening. “How one forgets.”

“Yeah.”

They were almost finished eating when there was a knock on the door. “Yeah?” Guru said. “Show yourself and come on in.”

The office door opened and Don Van Loan came in. “Boss, this just came in on the ATO. You've got a mission in forty-five. But have a look at the target.” He handed the CO a paper.

Guru took it, and scanned the paper. “Wonderful. A 'Liberation Radio' transmitter facility and a nearby supply dump or truck park.” He sighed. “Sweaty and Hoser can take the latter. But the former?” He looked at the ordnance called for in the ATO. “This is a load of bullshit. A laser bomb target, and they want Snakeyes?”

“We've got Pave Tack and Pave Spike pods, crews qualified to use 'em, and some bomb kits,” Goalie pointed out. “They must not know we do.”

“Probably,” Guru spat. “Kerry Collins back yet?” He was referring to the Assistant Ordnance Officer. The loathed Major Carson's nonflying job was as Ordnance Officer, but everyone bypassed him when possible and dealt with Capt. Kerry Collins.

“He is,” Van Loan said. “You're thinking what I think you are?”

“Let me guess,” Goalie said. “A LGB strike.” She wasn't asking a question.

Guru let out a grin. “Right you are.” He picked up his office phone and dialed the Ordnance Office. “Kerry, this is Guru. Listen, my bird and Kara's? Switch out what you've been told, and load a centerline Pave Tack pod on both aircraft. Two GBU-10Es, two Sparrows, ECM pod, wing tanks, and full gun.” There was a pause, then the CO went on. “How long? Forty-five? Okay, Kerry, don't waste any more time talking to me. Get it done. Right.” He hung up. “Now we can use those three Pave Tack pods and the LGB kits we've picked up. Don? Tell Ross to find some more Paveway kits. How he does it, I don't care, as long as the usual scrounging rules apply.”

“Got you,” Van Loan said. “Anything else?”

“Find General Olds. If he's having lunch, request his presence in the Ops Office at his convenience. If not, find him anyway and request that he come over. We've got something that will warm his heart.”

“On my way,” Van Loan said as he headed out the door.

“So...we get to fold, spindle, bend, or mutilate the ATO,” Goalie smiled. “Haven't done that in a few days.”

“No, and I do know what you're going to ask next. No Sidewinders. And I know how to take care of that,” said Guru. “Dave Golen and Flossy are coming with us.”

“Strike escort.”

“You got it.”

Pilot and GIB finished lunch, then went to the Ops Office. Kara and her WSO, Brainiac, were there. “Boss,” Kara said. “We're going smart-bombing?”

“That we are,” Guru said. “Haven't done this in a while. Birds should be ready in time, Kerry says.” He turned to Goalie. “Get Dave, Flossy, and their GIBs. If they're eating, tell them to hit the briefing room in twenty.”

“Got it,” Goalie said. She left the Ops Office to find their IDF “Observer” and his element.

“And Dave's element?” Kara asked.

Guru nodded, then picked up Van Loan's office phone. He called the Ordnance office. “Kerry? Yeah, me again. Have you guys started loading Dave Golen's element? Good. Their orders changed as of now. Give them four Sidewinders, two Sparrows, usual ECM pods, wing tanks, and gun. Clean centerline. How long? All right, get started.” He hung up. “They'll be ready when we are.”

A few minutes later, General Olds came in with Van Loan. “Major,” Olds said.

“General,” Guru replied politely as those in the Ops Office rose. “We've got something cooking that's near and dear to your heart.” He showed the General the mission order and the target. “Sir, this is what we have in mind. Four bombs to do what the order calls for two dozen.” Guru then outlined what he had in mind.

“I like it,” Olds said. ”UNODIR.”

“Sir?” Kara asked, slightly confused.

“UNODIR, Captain,” Olds said. “Unless Otherwise Directed. Pulled a few stunts like this in Vietnam, and it's how I had my F-4Ds rewired back to Sidewinders after the Falcon Fiasco.” He referred to the wretched AIM-4 Falcon's uselessness as a fighter combat weapon, and having his Wing's F-4Ds rewired to carry Sidewinders within twenty-four hours of his order. And the rest of the Air Force had followed his lead. “When you report back to Tenth AF Ops that the mission's been launched? You say UNODIR, that the mission against this target has LGBs instead of the ordnance in the ATO. Once you're briefed, I'll call General Tanner and explain what's up. And I'll see about getting you some more laser bomb kits and maybe another pod.”

“Thanks, General.” Guru said. Then Goalie came in. “And?”

“Dave's people are in the briefing room, and so are Sweaty's,” Goalie said. “Oops, sorry, General, didn't see you.”

“Not to worry, Lieutenant,” Olds said. “Let's get this briefed, then you have a mission to fly. I'll talk to General Tanner while you're in the air.”


When they got to the Briefing Room Guru's flight used, Sweaty, Preacher, Hoser, KT, Dave, Terry McAuliffe-Golen's GIB, Flossy, and Jang were all there. And Buddy, the squadron's dog. “People, we've got a new mission,and it's not quite what the ATO has in mind.”

“So what's the target?” Sweaty asked.

“Right here, five miles northeast of Stephenville. Right at the F.M. 179/180 intersection. There's a 'Liberation Radio' facility with a transmitter tower and a control building. Just to the east of that is a truck park at the very least, if not a supply dump. Lots of stuff under that camo netting. Sweaty? You and Hoser get that, and before you ask, you both get a dozen Mark-82 Snakeyes with the Daisy Cutter fuze extenders. Make them burn, bleed, and blow up.”

“Our pleasure,” Sweaty grinned. “We still have the Sidewinders. And you and Kara get the radio facilities.”

“Right on that,” Guru said. “Here's where we depart from the ATO. Kara and I will carry Pave Tack pods and two GBU-10s. I know, they don't call those pods 'Pave Drag' for nothing. So, once we've burned our wing tanks, Kara, we get rid of them.”

Kara nodded. “Got it, and the target?”

“Coming to that. I'm taking the tower. You get the control building. We pop up, designate and drop, then get back low.”

“Sounds good, Boss,” Kara said. “But that leaves us with hardly any air-to-air. Just two Sparrows and gun,” she pointed out.

“Which is why Dave Golen's element is coming with us,” Guru nodded in Golen's direction. “You guys are going as strike escort. Four Sidewinders, two Sparrows, ECM, and gun.”

Hearing that, Golen and his people looked at each other and grinned. “So, we get to be fighter pilots on this one?” Flossy asked.

Guru grinned. “That you do. No trolling for MiGs, though. Once Hoser's clear of the target? Get your asses down and head north.”

Golen nodded. “Understood,” he said. Nothing new here. “And ingress?”

“Follow the Brazos down to Lake Whitney. Turn right, get to Meridian. Go west to Hico, then turn north. U.S. 67 is the pop-up point. ID the target by looking for four ranch ponds.” Guru passed the overheads around. “One northeast, one southeast. The actual target is just north of the intersection.”

“And once we drop, get back low and north,” Hoser said.

“Right.”

“Sounds good, Boss,” Kara said. “MiG threat?”

“Unchanged since this morning. Now, we're in the East German sector again, so that means SA-4 and SA-6, plus guns and MANPADS. So....make a few 'Magnum' calls. Those guys will think Weasels are around, and shut down their radars. Good for us, because we don't have Weasels or IRON HAND with us on this one,” Guru said. He let that little fact sink in. “Anything else?”

“And we just ate,” KT quipped. “Looks like it might be an easy one.”

“How's that?” Jang wanted to know.

“Look at Buddy,” Guru said. The squadron's mascot was fast asleep. “If he was alert, it'll be a bear.” He turned to General Olds. “Anything to add, sir?”

“As soon as you're all wheels up, I'll call General Tanner,” Olds said. “Unless anyone has other questions, you've got a mission to fly. And good luck. All of you.”

Nodding, Guru said, “You heard him. Let's gear up, people. Meet at 512.”

As people headed to their locker rooms to gear up, General Olds told Guru, “Major? Good luck. And bring everyone back.”

“Do my best sir,” Guru replied. He went to the Men's Locker Room and got into his flight gear. When he came out, Goalie was waiting for him, as usual. “Ready?”

“Been a while since that pre-PRAIRIE FIRE strike. That's the last time we did this.”

“Yeah. Too bad that's all we can say about that one,” Guru said. “Let's get going.”

They left the squadron's office and walked over to their dispersal. When Guru and Goalie got to 512's revetment, the others were waiting. “Gather 'round, people,” Guru said, giving his final instructions.

“Usual on the radio?” Kara asked.

“Yep. Mission code to AWACS and other parties. Call signs between us. Dave? You and Flossy are Camaro One-five and One-six, respectively,” said the CO.

“Got it,” Golen said, and Flossy nodded.

“Other than that? Bailout areas and weather are also unchanged.”

“And there's one more after this,” Flossy said.

Sweaty grinned. “As long as it's not CAS.”

“Down, girl,” Guru said. “But yeah, here's hoping for one more. Anything else?” Heads shook no. “Okay,” the CO nodded, clapping his hands. “Let's get it done. Time to hit it.”

With that, the crews went to mount their aircraft, and when Guru and Goalie went to 512, they found Sergeant Crowley waiting, and he snapped a salute as they came in.

“Major, Lieutenant? Five-twelve's ready to go. Been a while since she was loaded like this.” He motioned to the aircraft, with a Pave Tack Pod on centerline, and two GBU-10 laser bombs on the inboard wing stations.

“It has, Sergeant,” Guru said. He and Goalie did their preflight walk-around, then after signing for the aircraft, they mounted up. After strapping in and putting on their helmets, they ran through the preflight checklist.

“Pave Drag is right,” Goalie reminded her pilot and lover. “Hope we don't have to jettison this. Ejection seats?”

“Armed top and bottom,” Guru replied. “Those things go for a million dollars a pop, I bet. Armed top and bottom, and check yours.”

“Set,” Goalie replied. “INS, Arnie, and DMAS all set.” The last two referred to the ARN-101 and DMAS nav systems. “We're ready to rock.”

“Copy that,” Guru said. He gave a thumbs-up to Sergeant Crowley, who gave the “Start Engines” signal. First one, then both, J-79 engines were soon up and running. During the warm-up, Guru called the Tower. “Tower, Camaro Lead with six, requesting taxi and takeoff instructions.”

“Camaro Flight, Tower. Clear to taxi to Runway Three-Five-Lima. Hold prior to the Active, and you will be number two in line.”

“Roger, Tower,” Guru replied. He saw that the engines were up to temp. “Camaro Lead is rolling.” He gave another thumbs-up to his CC, who waved to the ground crew, who pulled the chocks away from the wheels, then he gave the “Taxi” signal.

Guru taxied 512 out, and after clearing the revetment, he and Goalie saw Sergeant Crowley snap another salute, and they returned it. They taxied to Runway 35L, and when they got to the Holding Area, a Marine F-4 flight was just taking off. Ahead of them was a C-130, but before the Herky-bird could taxi, a flight of Marine Hornets came in. Then the C-130 taxied onto the runway and it was their turn to move into the Holding Area. There, the armorers removed the weapon safeties, while the C-130 took off. Then it was their turn. “Tower, Camaro Lead requesting taxi for takeoff.”

“Camaro Lead, Tower,” the controller replied. “Clear to taxi for takeoff. Winds are Two-six-zero for five.”

“Roger, Tower,” Guru replied. He taxied onto the runway, and Kara followed in 520. Guru and Goalie did a last check, then turned to see Kara's bird in the usual Five O'clock position. Kara and Brainiac gave their flight lead a thumbs-up, and Guru and Goalie returned it. Then it was time. “Tower, Camaro Lead requesting clear for takeoff.”

As usual, the Tower didn't reply by radio, but flashed a green light instead. Clear for takeoff.

“Canopy coming down,” Guru said, closing and locking his canopy, and Goalie did the same. A quick look showed 520's crew had done the same. Now, they were ready for takeoff. “Ready?”

“Let's go,” Goalie said.

Guru acknowledged by releasing the brakes, and applying full power. 512 then thundered down the runway and into the air, with 520 right alongside. Thirty seconds later, it was Sweaty and Hoser's turn, and after that, Dave and Flossy followed. The flight met up at FL 100, then set course south for their tanker rendezvous.