Unfortunately Nate the hurting only stops when you die or become a total bastard, and I don't recommend either course. Just tell the kids that you love them every chance you get, and don't stoop to her level when she tries to pick a fight. Remember that no matter how crazy she drives you, the chance to tell those kids that Daddy loves them is way more important. Be the perfect gentleman to her and her family at all times, and be the best father you can under the circumstances. I know it isn't an easy answer, but there aren't any easy answers in these situations, and all you can do sometimes is try to be the best man you can be.
Best of luck to you sir.
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