i just wish that i can stop hurting. i've tried to stop loving Emma. but i can't. i really can't. i might not like her much, but i still love her. especially when i find pictures and letters she wrote me, saying she would never leave. that she wanted us to be happy together. that she loved me for now and forever. i dont know what to do i really dont. i hate being here alone surrounded by all of these things. i sit in the boys room holding the stuffed animals that they didn't take to the UK, i love her so damn much. i dont know what to do. i just want to stop thinking. she promised she wouldn't do this to me. she swore to God she would never do this. but she did.
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