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Originally Posted by Griff
Sack of Shit Landing (as opposed to a proper PLF(Parachute Landing Fall)- The average landing/impact description of a US Paratrooper (and most other countries from what I've seen) on impact with the ground. Referenced as, "How'ed you're landing go?" "SOS, I landed like a sack of shit!".
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Another variation of this, one that I was quite skilled at, is the feet-knees-face landing. Usually when I got to the RP, someone would look at me and say, "What the hell happened to your face?"
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Football Bat-A thing that is beyond useless, stupid, ill concieved,ass backwards, wrong on multiple levels.As in, "Son you're as f**ked up as football bat!" (see also swimming cleats, arctic swimshorts, soccer flippers, etc.).
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The variation I always heard (and used) was "f***ked up as a soup sandwich." Imagine what a mess that would be!
One thing I would often shout at my troops when I was only a little mad at them was "I'm gonna have you shot and sent to the Russian Front." As the years went by, fewer and fewer of them understood that reference...
Oh, and here's another one: Profile Child. In the Army, a profile sheet is given to you by a doctor or PA that list restrictions on your activity while you are recovering from injury or illness. If you get a long profile period (like I did once -- they almost chaptered me out early in my career), or have lots of illnesses and injuries, you become a Profile Child. My stepmonster called the Marine Corps equivalent was "Sick Bay Commando."