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#1
10-21-2010, 06:53 PM
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Another falls due to Agent Orange...
On 15 October 2010 yet another Vietnam Veteran died from his exposure to Agent Orange...
He was my father, his name was Richard Pinkney Spake (1 April 1946 - 15 October 2010). His funeral was Wednesday 20 October 2010, and the surviving members of his unit came and learned just what kind of man he had been after 'coming home', and none where surprised with the life he had led. You see, My Dad was the perfect example of what kind of a person the Spake family produces. We Love Our God, we Love Our Country, we Love Our Family and we Love Our Guns. We keep going until we can't go any further... and push ourselves to keep going until we die. We keep taking what ever is thrown at us and we adapt and overcome, and keep pushing forward NO MATTER What. My father ran into burning buildings to save lives... people stood and told how they watched as dad pulled the driver out of a burning race car that was about to explode, and that he had gotten the driver out seconds before it exploded. His squad mates told us how they watched him save a drowning pregnant woman right under the guns of a VC patrol... He pulled her out of the water on the VC side, delivered the baby... and waited for them to shoot him. Instead the VC commander looked at his Lieutenant and waved his hand as his people faded away. When dad got back on the right side of the river... the LT said he didn't know if he should give him a medal or put him on report, and dad just said "Neither..." And when the damn leftist hippies spat in his face and called him a babykiller when he came home, it hurt him so bad... that he didn't mean to hurt me when he mocked me when i came home from war with my medals on in uniform. just to make him proud. He apologized for that right after he started his PTSD therapy back in 2006. The VA paper-pushers refused to admit that he had been exposed to Agent Orange, even though his records showed he was in country where it was used (and had the paperwork showing he had sprayed that crap in sprayers around the firebase to kill weeds and the like). And to add insult to injury they claimed that 'if that exposure was going to show up, it would have showed up 13 months after exposure'... and claimed his PTSD wasn't related to his time in the War. They had each of us kids speak about him, what he meant to us. How he was just like all us Spake's... that we love others more than we love ourselves. That I learned from my father that you stand up for what you believe to be true, and to hell with the consequences. That we Spake's should have the cockroach for our totem animal, because like them.. it takes a hell of a lot to kill us, and we just keep going until we just can't go anymore. But even then we keep TRYING to keep going. In his first career, Dad had built three golf courses, and one of which is on the Masters every year. He loved that job being the grounds keeper of golf courses. He was actually asked to give advice my other country clubs... and offered so many times a better salary at other clubs. But he stayed true to Fairfield in the Mountains... so much so that when they betrayed his loyalty it destroyed him. He was so heartbroken he stopped doing anything dealing with being a groundskeeper, and became a general contractor. He built houses instead of golf courses... and he built houses that will last for hundreds of years if the people take good care of them. We lived in the mountains of NC from 1973 till 1988, in an area where the nearest hospital was almost a 2 hour drive down the mountain... That was why he was a volunteer firefighter, a volunteer EMT (back when they did the things Paramedics today aren't allowed to do) and a volunteer Police Officer. He paid out of his own pocket for all that training, providing his own gear, the only thing he didn't pay for was the badge they presented him. My mother and us kids even got involved in that... i learned how to do everything he and mom did... i was just as qualified as they were when i went into the Navy. And that earned me the respect of the other Sailors and Marines when danger showed up, and people got hurt.... I had already set up the triage of all the wounded when the emergency response medical teams showed up. They couldn't believe that I ran to the danger, but how couldn't i have?? I learned that kind of thing from him. The marines knew I had their back, just like my father had the back of so many people in the past. But that's not all dad did. Dad dressed up as Santa Claus when arthritis had stopped him form being able to be a contractor, or even do the carpentry woodworking in Granddad's workshop they had built together. He operated the non-profit group "Santa's Cupboard"... it gathered all of the damaged goods from all of the local (within a two hour drive) grocery stores, arranged for the local dealers of sodas and chips and other snackfoods to give us all of the stuff that was going out of date so we could in turn give that to families in need. They also arranged for a place to store all of the donations (clothes, furniture and other things) until he just couldn't do that anymore. During that time we helped so many families... Dad did Santa Claus not only for children, he did it for the brain injury clinic here in the area every year. And every year we would take pictures and make sure the children and injured would have the best most happiest time they could. We always had toys for them... some kind of gift for them. Dad looked like Santa Claus you know. He grew out his hair and beard to look the part. And children all through the year when they saw him would gasp and point and look at their parents and ask "is that Santa?"... and dad would just look at them, and give them a little wink. And the parents would smile because their little ones would start behaving better... My sons loved their "paw-paw".. when Jack started to school he was asked, "what do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?" and he said "That's my Paw-paw" and the teachers asked us about how he was saying Santa was his grandfather. And when they met him, they asked him to come to the class... and he did. The pre-school loved it. And Jack was so popular for it. Dad and my step-son Jack bonded over watching racing one weekend. He sat beside dad so quiet while watching it with him, clutching two little toy race cars. And only 'spoke' during commercials. When Emma left with the boys dad asked, "Who will I watch races with?" I failed him... i failed him so bad when i let them go. Mom said i didn't fail him, that it was Emma lied and tricked me. But it is how i feel. Everyone said that dad's funeral was one of the most beautiful memorials to anyone they had ever been too. But I learned from my dad that when it comes down to it, you save lives... even if it puts yours at risk. I just hope i can be as good a man as he.
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it. 
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#2
10-21-2010, 07:03 PM
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I am sorry for your loss, you dad looked like an amazing American, a stand up guy.
My dad, too, served in Vietnam, though we have only talked about it very little. I need to do that, and soon, before it is too late. You and your father are in my thoughts.
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#3
10-21-2010, 07:13 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it.
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#4
10-21-2010, 07:45 PM
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Thanks for sharing your story of an amazing man, and your complicated, sometimes painful and obviously rewarding relationship with him. Most of the propaganda about the "American War" by the Vietnamese in Viet Nam itself is both cheesy and triumphalist (not without reason, perhaps). The displays on Agent Orange in the "War Remnants Museum" in Sai Gon really speak for themselves and, if anything, were understated. When we were in Da Nang, we weren't allowed to tour the former air base because of residual chemical contamination that was still deemed to be unsafe. Tony
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#5
10-22-2010, 12:31 AM
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condolances
sorry for your loss.
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#6
10-22-2010, 01:08 AM
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damn
 sorry for your loss Nate.
__________________
"There is only one tactical principal which is not subject to change. It is to use the means at hand to inflict the maximum amount of wounds, death and destruction on the enemy in the minimum amount of time." --General George S. Patton, Jr.
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#7
10-22-2010, 06:20 AM
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All in all, he's in pretty good health, but no sense waiting. Again, I'm sorry for your loss
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#8
10-22-2010, 07:23 AM
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Sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a hell of a guy.
__________________
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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#9
10-22-2010, 07:37 AM
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Nate,
Sorry for your loss. Dads' are special resources for all of us. I just visitied my Dad for his 87th (!!) birthday. He is one of the few left from the greatest generation. SOme of his stories of WWII are very funny and yet point at the raw courage these men and women had during our worst crisis. May your Dad find peace at his Fiddler's Green. May you find peace just for knowing him and all he stood for. Mike
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#11
10-25-2010, 05:13 AM
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He was. Growing up, it felt like i wasn't the kind of son he wanted. it was only during the past few years that I learned how proud of me he was. and that he didn't blame the situation with Emma on me, and the look on his face when he saw me wasn't disappointment. but he could see how much loosing my sons was killing me, and it was killing him too. mom said that dad was always talking about trying to find a way to get the money to help me get over to see the boys, or even try to find a lawyer. but their funds are just as limited as my own.
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it.
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#13
10-27-2010, 12:37 PM
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Sorry to hear of your loss.
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#14
10-31-2010, 10:40 PM
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My condolences for your loss. Your father sounds like he was a hell of a guy and his accomplishments will live on for quite a long time.
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#16
11-03-2010, 11:48 PM
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Condolences, dude. I lost an uncle to complications stemming from Vietnam-era dioxin exposure many years ago who endured the same VA bullshit. Fucking tragic we treat our heroes that way. Your old man sounds like a hell of a guy. I hope his memory remains strong. He passed at just one year older than my father is now and I'm not sure where I'd be without him. I am sorry for your loss.
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