OT - Friday funny stuff

[General Pain]

http://www.dagbladet.no/2008/12/05/k...redag/3938167/


long time since I laughed this loud.....

Hope this will put a smile on fellow board-members (everyone of us) , merry x-mas guys.....

[Targan]

I hit the link and I received this message:

"Sorry! This content is for Norway only.

We believe you are in Australia .

Dagbladet.no har bare rettighetene for Norge. Det betyr at hvis din ISP router trafikken via utlandet, får du ikke tilgang til filmene."

[Mohoender]

They are not that bad, I received the same message with France instead of Australia. However, the skeleton christmas song worked well.

[General Pain]

sorry guys....

gonna check if i can find them other places.....

[General Pain]

http://www.break.com/index/flourprank31.html

[weswood]

So much for the world wide web....

[General Pain]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oESKB...rom=PL&index=3

[General Pain]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEAaG...aynext_from=PL

[General Pain]

http://clipmarks.com/clipmark/1C5402...-3B87CC082221/

[General Pain]

Originally Posted by General Pain

http://clipmarks.com/clipmark/1C5402...-3B87CC082221/

http://directorblue.blogspot.com/200...ontractor.html

[Targan]

This one is for you Texan forumites. I got a good chuckle out of reading this.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news..._s_border_wall

[weswood]

That's funny, Targan. I glanced at the headline and thought it was about a fence along the Rio Grande, then I saw Wichita Falls. I had to read a little closer.... Perry don't have the cojones.


As far as funny stuff, I just heard on the way home a radio talk show host, in reference to N Korea, say "Democrats or Republicans, a nuke will ruin anyone's day."

[chico20854]

It's not quite Friday yet (in fact, depressingly far from Friday) but I found this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_KIqdS1SO0

Skip to the 8:03 mark for the real entertainment!

[General Pain]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mbru...eature=related

[General Pain]

a priest,rapist and paedophile walks into a bar....

...and thats just the first guy....hehe






- Dennis LEarys priest told that on on Comedy Central's Roast of Dennis Leary

[General Pain]

btw:

This is from the excellent site: www.engrish.com

[pmulcahy11b]

Originally Posted by General Pain

This is from the excellent site: www.engrish.com

An excellent source of fiber, for sure.

[General Pain]

and here is a funny one from the vaults of www.failblog.org

[Legbreaker]

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."

The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the frontline in the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.

New Zealand has also raised its security levels – from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper airplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shit, I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!,” "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend," and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

[Ironside]

Hadn't seen the later parts before, thanks!

[pmulcahy11b]

Thanks Leg, for the badly-needed laugh.

[General Pain]

[General Pain]

[General Pain]

[Legbreaker]

A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...

No wait...SORRY.

I'm thinking of beer. It's beer that does all that stuff.

Never mind.......

[Legbreaker]

Just in time for Christmas.
Attachment 1700

[Targan]

Oh dear.

[mikeo80]

Originally Posted by Legbreaker

Just in time for Christmas.
Attachment 1700

That is just wrong!!!

And you forgot the spew warning!!

Now, if I was in chage, I would reactivate the U.S.S. Wisconsin.

Many of the U.S. Navy's first hero's were captains sent to prevent piracy. Why not continue the tradition??

My $0.02

Mike

[swaghauler]

Originally Posted by Legbreaker

Just in time for Christmas.
Attachment 1700

Leg;

Some constructive criticism here. You need to make a couple of changes but as a "machinegun tourist" I'll still take two tickets.

The first change you have to make is to move the Captain's .50 caliber machineguns down to the rail. There are at least a dozen Class 3 Gun Rental dealerships that will let you do a "mad minute" on a .50 or a minigun so this isn't enough of a "treat" to merit a "Captain's Gun Mount."

I'd suggest dual 40mm Bofors Autocannon. These are rare enough to be a true "treat" for a "machinegun tourist" (Knob Creek is the only place I've ever seen this offered to the public). You could do TWO mounts, one for the "Captain's Crew" and the other headed by a "Featured Entertainer" headlining on the cruise (for some reason Ted Nugent comes to mind immediately). They could compete to see who sinks a pirate "Mothership" first.

[pmulcahy11b]

Originally Posted by General Pain

I'd like to know what he's using for his trigger finger...