OT: Targan misbehaving

[mikeo80]

Targan missed his lunch. So he took matters into his own hands. (If you will pardon the pun)

http://www.wral.com/news/national_wo...tory/10538437/

My $0.02

Mike

[Targan]

Salties are angry beasts. Scare the crap out of me, they do.

[mikeo80]

Once Targan was finished playing with his new toy, he decided to go walkabout.

http://www.wral.com/news/strange/story/10574497/

My $0.02

Mike

[Targan]

Poor fella has been relocated to a croc farm. That means he'll end up as a suitcase, a pair of boots and a half-dozen burgers.

[Schone23666]

They eat croc burgers down there too? My impression of croc meat was you had to season it pretty well, otherwise it comes off a bit bland.

[StainlessSteelCynic]

Originally Posted by Schone23666

They eat croc burgers down there too? My impression of croc meat was you had to season it pretty well, otherwise it comes off a bit bland.

Don't hate me for this, I am being serious
I have it on good authority from a guy who used to work with me... different texture but it tastes something like chicken.

[Targan]

Originally Posted by StainlessSteelCynic

Don't hate me for this, I am being serious
I have it on good authority from a guy who used to work with me... different texture but it tastes something like chicken.

You've never eaten croc? You're right, it does taste a bit like chicken. A lot tougher though.

[pmulcahy11b]

Why does it seem like everything tastes like chicken?

[mikeo80]

Originally Posted by Targan

Poor fella has been relocated to a croc farm. That means he'll end up as a suitcase, a pair of boots and a half-dozen burgers.

MMMMMM....croc burgers!!!!!

My $0.02

Mike

[StainlessSteelCynic]

Originally Posted by pmulcahy11b

Why does it seem like everything tastes like chicken?

Because you can make any meat taste like chicken but you can't make chicken taste like anything else... except chicken

[Schone23666]

Originally Posted by StainlessSteelCynic

Because you can make any meat taste like chicken but you can't make chicken taste like anything else... except chicken

Perhaps...but please note, this does not apply to the former Chicken a La King entree that used to be found in American MRE's...

And I won't even go into how it looked like a bag of puke when you opened it.

[dragoon500ly]

Not to mention the nightmare of Dehydrated Pork Patties!!!

On the other hand, what a great tool to make that prisoner to tell all!

[Schone23666]

Originally Posted by dragoon500ly

Not to mention the nightmare of Dehydrated Pork Patties!!!

On the other hand, what a great tool to make that prisoner to tell all!

I think I saw one of those. YOu added water and it grew like a sponge...at least that's what I thought it was, at first.

[dragoon500ly]

Originally Posted by Schone23666

I think I saw one of those. YOu added water and it grew like a sponge...at least that's what I thought it was, at first.

Still, nothing can match the unspeakable horrors of the old MRC Ham and Lima Beans, eaten cold, in the middle of a snowstorm during a REFORGER.....

And then the never-to-be forgetten pain of the resulting "movement".

The horror, the suffering!!!!

[Schone23666]

Originally Posted by dragoon500ly

Still, nothing can match the unspeakable horrors of the old MRC Ham and Lima Beans, eaten cold, in the middle of a snowstorm during a REFORGER.....

And then the never-to-be forgetten pain of the resulting "movement".

The horror, the suffering!!!!

My impression was that most Americans DON'T regularly eat lots of Lima beans for a reason...don't know what they were thinking when they packaged it in a can with ham, what did they think the reaction would be??

Then again, the same guys also produced eggs and ham in a can....sorry, but eggs typically are NOT eaten out of a can for a reason.

And if you don't believe me, you should have seen and read the comments U.S. servicemembers made about the (now discontinued) MRE entree "Cheese and Vegetable Omelette". Some have compared it to trying to eat rubber...others have compared it to eating puke.

[Cpl. Kalkwarf]

Yup back in the day. I liked the ham and eggs in the can, they were much better warm with some cheese. The Ham and Muther F**kers (ham and lima beans) sucked major. If one was hungry they all were not too bad, better when warmed though. Did not see any of the first MREs till after I got out. Those dehydrated ones were not too bad. I still would of taken a C-ration over them though.

[dragoon500ly]

MRCs were a rather unique. Ham and Lima beans were the utter pits, but runner up was the Meat & Potatos....sorta like eating a mix of rocks and sawdust, smeared with rancid lard.

The Egg Loaf wasn't bad....but it wasn't first pick. I still remember that aftertaste!!

I'd have to say that the Turkey Loaf and the Franks & Beans were the better choices...unless you could engineer an excuse to stop in town and hit the Lotto Totto for sausage, rye bread and a couple of beers!

[Legbreaker]

IN GENERAL
1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your Ute and trailer to the funeral.

DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN Ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman It can draw attention away from your jewellery.

DATING
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook – especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff about you on the dunny door two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATRE/CINEMA ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place.)
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummer- bund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight
2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way...
3.. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

[atiff]

GENERAL
6. Try not to confuse your mates and your sheilas. Your mates will get offended, and the sheilas will think you've gone soft.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
5. Sock should only be worn for a maximum of four days.
- day 1 - wear as normal
- day 2 - swap feet
- days 3-4 - turn inside out, and repeat days 1-2
6. If your nose runs and your feet smell, it doesn't mean you are upside down; it means your socks are at day 5 and, despite your better judgement, they really should be changed.

WEDDINGS
5. Despite the power of your Ute, metal water tanks and 44 gallon drums are not an acceptable substitute for the traditional tin cans.

DRIVING
5. Despite good intentions, you will still look like a right gallah if you manage to total your Ute while trying to hit that roo/bunny/possum/etc.
6. Land trains always have right of way.

[Legbreaker]

Originally Posted by atiff

6. Land trains always have right of way.

They're called "road trains" over here and you better believe they've got right of way!!!

[atiff]

That's the word I was looking for.... Forgive a poor, misguided NZer

Although it's funny how our two nations' back-countries are similar in so many ways.... Must be something to do with the good-quality beer.

[Targan]

Utes, eskies, jumpers... you guys do realise that most of our audience won't have a clue what these things are

[Cpl. Kalkwarf]

Originally Posted by Targan

Utes, eskies, jumpers... you guys do realise that most of our audience won't have a clue what these things are

Utility vehicles or pickup truck, portable plastic cooler (for beer or soda), wool or knit sweater ( i call em woolies). The internet is a wonderful thing

[Cpl. Kalkwarf]

Originally Posted by Schone23666

They eat croc burgers down there too? My impression of croc meat was you had to season it pretty well, otherwise it comes off a bit bland.

Have not had Croc, but Gater tastes a bit earthy.

[Legbreaker]

Proper utes look something like these.

Attachment 1746

Originally Posted by Cpl. Kalkwarf

...portable plastic cooler ...

PLASTIC!?
The internet has led you astray! A true esky (one found in the back of a ute anyway) should be steel.

Attachment 1747

Or better yet combine the two!

Attachment 1748

[Schone23666]

Originally Posted by Legbreaker

Proper utes look something like these.

Attachment 1746

I didn't know roos were such formidable obstacles....

Originally Posted by Legbreaker

PLASTIC!?
The internet has led you astray! A true esky (one found in the back of a ute anyway) should be steel.

Attachment 1747

Or better yet combine the two!

Attachment 1748

Bet you have to wear a woolie if you're driving around with that much ice! (Unless it's your "typical" Australian summer, that is.)

[Legbreaker]

Originally Posted by Schone23666

I didn't know roos were such formidable obstacles....

Well, considering they can get up to 9 feet tall....

[pmulcahy11b]

Originally Posted by Legbreaker

Proper utes look something like these.

I've always heard those called "ramming bumpers."


EDIT: I mistakingly believed you were talking about the bumper, not the whole machine! Sorry!

[Schone23666]

Originally Posted by Legbreaker

Well, considering they can get up to 9 feet tall....

And I'm gonna bet there's at least a few Aussies out there who's been behind the wheel of an Ute and recited this:

"I am the Nightrider. I'm a fuel injected suicide machine! I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out-of-controller! I'm the Nightrider, baby, and we ain't never comin' back!"

Pretty sure at least a few members will know where this comes from...

[Legbreaker]

And those outback roads can be long, straight and very, very empty...
And police with Interceptors are few and far between.