Communist Sympathizer Identified

[Webstral]

Don’t be fooled by the cuddly exterior!
I have identified a heretofore unrecognized Red in my own home. (Oh, the shame! It’s almost as bad as when the neighbor’s wife barged into our home, threw open the cupboard, and saw dishwasher spots on our glassware!) He has exposed himself through acts of sabotage against a cultural treasure.

Backstory: I’ve been needing a little reading down time for a couple of weeks. School is very demanding, as is watching my boy while he is awake. I’ve been reading two good, dense books: Africa’s World War and The Curse of the Good Girl. Neither is light reading. I’ve been thinking about switching gears and reading some good, old-fashioned Cold War-turned-hot fiction to chill my mind. Last night, I finished everything on my schedule for school. I broke out Team Yankee and read 100 pages or so before bed. Like a butterbar who just hasn’t learned his lesson yet, I left my book on the floor next to the bed—right where a rabbit could get at it. See the attachment for what I found.

The only reasonable explanation is that my Stewie, who has seemed such a patriotic sort until now, attacked Team Yankee because the novel shows the triumph of American arms over the Communists. Having carried out his mission of sabotage, he retreated underground—or in his case, under the bed. Clearly, the agents of the totalitarian General Woundwort (Watership Down) have infiltrated my home with their twisted message of Communist utopia. Beware, my friends. Communism clearly isn’t dead, and your technothrillers aren’t safe!

Webstral

[TiggerCCW UK]

A real red under the bed? Hope it was only the cover that got nibbled!

[sglancy12]

I had this same problem with my room-mate's dog "Specter."

He chewed up my copy of Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide.

Coupled with the fact that the zombies in the remake of Dawn of the Dead do not attack dogs, leads me to conclude that dogs are clearly on the side of the flesh eating zombies.

I highly recommend trading in your dog for a cat... presuming you are expecting a zombie based apocalypse. I expect dogs'll do just fine against the Russians... and any of their furry fellow travelers!

A. Scott Glancy, President TCCorp, dba Pagan Publishing

[headquarters]

I see you Yankee comrades also like to keep gaporstj under bed in house.Is very good for keeping fat the gaporstj.

The eating of paper is annoying trait in gaporstj .

Gaporstj like we say in the Scandinavian backyard of the former USSR/Sovjet also mean "wintertime snack" .Is funny how word for rodent also means this.

nastravjie tovaritsji!!

[Frank Frey]

On the other hand...das hund could be a literary critic!

[jester]

I say the offender should be waterboarded until he tells you all the aspects of his plans at about 325 for a bit and see what we can get out of him.

Let him "stew" over what he has done. He can "simmer" over his fate for a while.

[pmulcahy11b]

Yes, he should be punished by withholding of snacks and giving him only generic Alpo!

[Targan]

Naughty bunny!

[waiting4something]

Some rabbits aren't a joke. When I was going up, my sister had this a pet rabbit that was one mean bitch. This thing would grunt, claw, bite and charge you. The worst thing about it was, it was a dwarf too. When ever you took it out of the cage you had to be wearing gloves. Sometimes we would let the beast run around freely in the house(not sure why?). This always ended in a group effort to catch the furry terror, with people yelling, screaming, and running away.