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#33
10-19-2011, 04:06 AM
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A selection of interesting quotes I dug up.
"Engines of war have long since reached their limits, and I see no further hope of any improvement in the art." Frontinus, 90 AD "Gentlemen, you may be sure that of the three courses open to the enemy, he will always choose the fourth." Field Marshall Helmuth von Moltke to his staff "A piece of paper makes you an officer, a radio makes you a commander." General Omar Bradley "All the business of war, and indeed all the business of life, is to endeavour to find out what you don't know from what you do." Arthur Wellesley, Duke Of Wellington "Tanks are easily identified, easily engaged, much-feared targets which attract all the fire on the battlefield. When all is said and done, a tank is a small steel box crammed with inflammable or explosive substances which is easily converted into a mobile crematorium for its highly skilled crew." Brigadier Shelford Bidwell "Battles are sometimes won by generals; wars are nearly always won by sergeants and privates." F E Adcock "A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him." Sir Winston Churchill "The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons." Russian military doctrine "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed" U.S. Air Force flight training manual "Artillerymen believe the world consist of two types of people; other Artillerymen and targets." Unknown "Ultima ratio regum." (The final argument of kings) Inscription on French cannons, on order of Louis XIV I've saved the best for last: "One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine." From a Soviet Junior Lt's Notebook
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Better to reign in hell, than to serve in heaven. 
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#34
10-19-2011, 06:42 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#35
10-19-2011, 06:42 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#36
10-19-2011, 06:44 AM
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You May Be a Taliban, If ...
You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. You have more wives than teeth. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.' You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.' You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
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The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#37
10-19-2011, 06:49 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#38
10-19-2011, 06:52 AM
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Special Forces Challenge
A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune. "One U S Special Forces soldier is better than ten Taliban." The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun battle breaks and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice then calls out "One U S Special Forces soldier is better than one hundred Taliban." Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The American voice calls out again "One U S Special Forces soldier is better than one thousand Taliban." The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannons, rockets and machineguns ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence. Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, it's a trap. There's actually two of them."
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The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#39
10-19-2011, 06:59 AM
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The Ultimate Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model)
Upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO) Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake. Air Force, O-6 and above: "Get that damned snake off the fairway!" Armor: Runs over snake. Giggles wildly and looks for more snakes. Tank Commander screams "GUNNER! SABOT! SNAKE!" expends basic load of ammunition, paints kill rings on gun tube. Army Aviation: Has GPS ten digit grid to snake. Stands off at a range greater than any other weapon system and destroys snake with precision fires at a cost equivilant of one Mercedes 350SEL. Returns to base for fighter management and a "cool one". Army Shrink. Attempts to get snake to explain its sexual feelings about its mother. Chaplain. Tries to get snake to attend services, mend its ways. Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere. Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in depth analysis based on obscure 5 series FM about how to defeat snake using counter mobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake operations. (Engineer School tries to hide the fact that M9 ACE proves ineffective against snakes). Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area. Military Intelligence, G-2: Snake? What snake? Only four of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW. Judge Advocate General (JAG): Snake declines to bite, citing professional courtesy. Marines, ForceRecon: Follows snake, gets lost. Marines, Infantry: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations. Mech Infantry: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes. Military Intelligence, S-2: Reports to ground troops that snake is a non-combatant. Six Infantry wounded. MI states that if the ground forces would have read the nesting diagram provided in the 24 page enemy intel report, they would have known the snake was a possible threat. Military Police, Criminal Investigation: Handcuffs snake's head to its tail, reads it its Miranda rights, then proceeds to beat snake to a pulp with night stick. Missileers, Air Force: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20 seconds, but can't receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons. Military Police, Field: Snake safely infiltrates rear area of operations. Navy SeaBees: Build snake elaborate rec room, complete with secret still. Navy, SEAL: Expends all ammunition and several grenades, then calls for naval gunfire in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites the SEAL, and dies of salt water poisoning. Hollywood makes film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes. Navy, Surface Action Group: Fires off 50 cruise missiles fro several ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection. Ordnance: IDs snake as having improper scales. Deadline snake and order parts against snake. Parts come in 15 days later but the snake has been upgraded to FMC due to scrounging of parts through improper channels. Para-Rescue: Lands on snake upon descending, thereby injuring it, then feverishly works to save the nake's life. Pilot, A-10: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure. Pilot, Air Force, B-52: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target. Pilot, Air Force, F-15: Misidentifies snake as enemy Mil-24 Hind helicopter and engages with missiles. Crew chief paints snake kill on aircraft. Pilot, Air Force, F-16: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, and misses snake target, but gets direct hit on Embassy 100 KM East of snake due to weather (Too Hot also Too Cold, Was Clear but too overcast, Too dry with Rain, Unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover etc.) Claims that purchasing multimillion dollar, high-tech snake-killing device will enable it in the future to kill all snakes and achieve a revolution in military affairs. Pilot, Air Force, Fighter, Generic: Mis-identifies the snake as a HIND and engages it with missiles. Crew Chief paints snake on airplane. Pilot, Air Force, Transport: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, and delivers two weeks after due date. Pilot, Army, AH-64 Apache: Unable to locate snake, snakes don't show well on infrared. Infrared only operable in desert AO's without power lines or SAM's. Pilot, Army, HH-53 Jolly Green Giant: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out flares to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into fire. Quartermaster: Encounters snake, then loses contact. Can not identify who owns snake by hand receipts. Orders new snake through supply channels. Request is denied by higher authority; issuing the unit a snake will bring the manager to a zero balance; one snake must remain on hand at all times as per their boss' guidance. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it. Signal, Enlisted: Tries to communicate with snake . . . fails despite repeated attempts. Complains that the snake did not have the correct fill or did not know how to work equipment a child could operate. Signal, Officer: Informs the commander that he could easily communicate with the snake using just his voice. Commander insists that he NEEDS to videoconference with the snake, with real-time streaming positional and logistical data on the snake displayed on video screens to either side. Gives Signal Corps $5 Billion to make this happen. SigO abuses the 2 smart people in the corps to make it happen, while everybody else stands around, bitches, and takes credit. In the end, GTE and several sub-contractors make a few billion dollars, the two smart people get out and go to work for them, and the commander gets what he asked for only in fiber-optic based simulations. The snake dies of old age. SJA: Swear they saw something like that on the Discovery Channel . . . spend weeks arguing if it was a snake or not. Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return. Supply: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.) Transportation Corps: "Snake? What snake? We were sleeping in the truck." War Correspondent. Decides snake is patriotic nationalist agrarian reformer being molested by imperialist U.S. forces, asks snake for directions to nearest bar. If bitten by snake, charges U.S. troops with neglect of duty to protect freedom of the press.
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The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#40
10-19-2011, 07:02 AM
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Funny Flight Stories
In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my backseater) and I were screaming across Southern California, 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its groundspeed." "90 knots" Center replied. "Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same." "120 knots," Center answered. "We weren't the only ones proud of our groundspeed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests groundspeed readout.' "There was a slight pause, then the response, 525 knots on the ground, Dusty". "Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my backseater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison." "Center, Aspen 20, you got a groundspeed readout for us?" There was a longer than normal pause.... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots" "No further inquiries were heard on that frequency" In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 60 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller, with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to 60,000 feet?" "The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go up to it, we plan to go down to it." He was cleared... There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing, because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked". Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah", the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded Seven-Engine approach". A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff". Taxiing down the tarmac, the DC10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant. "It took us a while to find a new pilot." "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
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The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#41
10-19-2011, 07:03 AM
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The Pattern of U.S. Military Operations Since World War II
A Washington think tank has announced a breakthrough in the search for a pattern in US military activities since World War II that might predict what the future missions of the US will be in the post-Cold War world. "We think they are spelling out a message," explained an unnamed spokesperson. "Just look at the places where the US has fought: Korea, Vietnam, Libya, Iraq, Iran, El Salvador, Grenada, Nicaragua and Somalia. If you rearrange the first letters of those countries, it spells 'ELVIS _S KING.' We just need to find another 'I' country to complete the message." Who's next, Italy, India, Ireland, Indonesia . . . ?
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The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#42
10-19-2011, 07:05 AM
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The Difference Between the Infantry, the Artillery and the Armored
HAPPINESS IS . . . Infantry: A good rifle Armored: A big tank Artillery: A loud boom UPON HEARING FIREWORKS Infantry: Cool, just like a live fire exercise Armored: Not loud enough Artillery: Fireworks? What fireworks? OTHER TRADES Infantry: Waste of rations Armored: Waste of rations Artillery: Waste of rations IDEA OF FUN Infantry: Not having to "pepper-pot" an entire grid square before the objective Armored: Racing across a grid square on "full stab" Artillery: Leveling a grid square FAVOURITE SONG Infantry: "Ballad of the Green Beret" Armored: "Purple Haze" Artillery: Anything, just play it LOUD! BIGGEST LUXURY IN THE FIELD Infantry: Engineers blowing trenches for them with C4 Armored: Grunts to dig their trenches for them Artillery: Cable A LONG ROUTE MARCH WITH FULL KIT Infantry: 20 clicks Armored: From the hangars to the tank Artillery: What's a route march? OFFICERS Infantry: Are morons and should stay away from the trenchlines Armored: Are morons and should stay out of the vehicles Artillery: Are morons and should stay away from the gun lines FAVORITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION Infantry: Anything but walking Armored: Tanks. Tanks. Tanks. TankstankstankstanksTANKS! Artillery: Don't you have to move around to require transport? BIGGEST GRIPE IN THE FIELD Infantry: The weather Armored: Coffee maker in tank not working Artillery: Only having basic cable BREAKFAST IN THE FIELD Infantry: I don't care what it is, just so long as I can sit down to eat it Armored: Hot coffee and rum with a beer chaser Artillery: Eggs over easy, crispy bacon, sausages, toast and Tim Horton's coffee WHAT THEY CALL THEMSELVES Infantry: Death Techs Armored: Cavalry Artillery: 10 Mile Snipers WHAT OTHERS CALL THEM Infantry: Grunts Armored: Zipperheads Artillery: Drop shorts
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The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#43
10-19-2011, 07:12 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#44
10-19-2011, 07:18 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#45
10-19-2011, 07:44 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#46
10-19-2011, 07:45 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#47
10-19-2011, 07:48 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#48
10-19-2011, 07:50 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#49
10-19-2011, 08:46 AM
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#50
10-19-2011, 08:48 AM
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#51
10-19-2011, 11:37 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#52
10-19-2011, 11:51 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#53
10-19-2011, 11:54 AM
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__________________
The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#54
10-19-2011, 01:17 PM
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A couple of images are bad.
The "British Military Cuts" that's actually the new Netherlands Infantry after their cuts. And -- http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/rZD62OhaDTI/default.jpg -- seems to be a thumbnail only. Otherwise, don't forget -- http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y15...ith-stupid.jpg
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Newbie DM/PM/GM Semi-experienced player Mostly a sci-fi nut, who plays a few PC games. I do some technical and vehicle drawings in my native M20 scale. - http://braden1986.deviantart.com/
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#55
10-19-2011, 05:41 PM
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New Body Armor for Stryker Crews
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The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#56
10-19-2011, 05:45 PM
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Ahhh...nothing like the smell of CS in the morning!
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The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#57
10-19-2011, 07:53 PM
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Quote:
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If it moves, shoot it, if not push it, if it still doesn't move, use explosives. Nothing happens in isolation - it's called "the butterfly effect" Mors ante pudorem
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#58
10-20-2011, 05:59 AM
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Say what you will, the ole gas chamber sure cleaned out any allergies, hangovers, flu, or plague that anyone had!
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The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis.
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#59
10-20-2011, 08:05 PM
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On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field
and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."
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************************************* Each day I encounter stupid people I keep wondering... is today when I get my first assault charge??
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#60
10-20-2011, 08:07 PM
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Quote:
__________________
************************************* Each day I encounter stupid people I keep wondering... is today when I get my first assault charge??
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