Communist Sympathizer Identified

[Webstral]

Don’t be fooled by the cuddly exterior!
I have identified a heretofore unrecognized Red in my own home. (Oh, the shame! It’s almost as bad as when the neighbor’s wife barged into our home, threw open the cupboard, and saw dishwasher spots on our glassware!) He has exposed himself through acts of sabotage against a cultural treasure.

Backstory: I’ve been needing a little reading down time for a couple of weeks. School is very demanding, as is watching my boy while he is awake. I’ve been reading two good, dense books: Africa’s World War and The Curse of the Good Girl. Neither is light reading. I’ve been thinking about switching gears and reading some good, old-fashioned Cold War-turned-hot fiction to chill my mind. Last night, I finished everything on my schedule for school. I broke out Team Yankee and read 100 pages or so before bed. Like a butterbar who just hasn’t learned his lesson yet, I left my book on the floor next to the bed—right where a rabbit could get at it. See the attachment for what I found.

The only reasonable explanation is that my Stewie, who has seemed such a patriotic sort until now, attacked Team Yankee because the novel shows the triumph of American arms over the Communists. Having carried out his mission of sabotage, he retreated underground—or in his case, under the bed. Clearly, the agents of the totalitarian General Woundwort (Watership Down) have infiltrated my home with their twisted message of Communist utopia. Beware, my friends. Communism clearly isn’t dead, and your technothrillers aren’t safe!

Webstral