OT - Friday funny stuff

[General Pain]

[General Pain]

[Legbreaker]

A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...

No wait...SORRY.

I'm thinking of beer. It's beer that does all that stuff.

Never mind.......

[Legbreaker]

Just in time for Christmas.
Attachment 1700

[Targan]

Oh dear.

[Odie]

More Funnies

[Odie]

A few more

[pmulcahy11b]

Originally Posted by Odie

More Funnies

I had that same triangle problem in high school. I put the right answer, but on the downslope I drew a stick figure walking away from his car, which was smoking.

[mikeo80]

Originally Posted by Legbreaker

Just in time for Christmas.
Attachment 1700

That is just wrong!!!

And you forgot the spew warning!!

Now, if I was in chage, I would reactivate the U.S.S. Wisconsin.

Many of the U.S. Navy's first hero's were captains sent to prevent piracy. Why not continue the tradition??

My $0.02

Mike

[Legbreaker]

I received this email just a few minutes ago.

If you had bought $1,000.00 of Qantas shares one year ago, You would have $49.00 today!

If you bought $1,000.00 AIG shares one year ago, You would have $33.00 today!

If you bought $1,000.00 worth of Lehman Brothers shares one year ago, You would have $0.00 today!

BUT.... If you purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, Drank all the beer, then returned the aluminium cans for recycling....
YOU WOULD HAVE RECEIVED $214.00!!!

BASED ON THE ABOVE, THE BEST CURRENT INVESTMENT PLAN IS TO DRINK HEAVILY AND RECYCLE!

AND, DID YOU KNOW...

A recent study found that the average Aussie walks 900 MILES A YEAR!!!

Another study found that Aussies drink, on average, 22 GALLONS OF ALCOHOL A YEAR!!!

THAT MEANS THAT, ON AVERAGE, AUSSIES GET ..... 41 MILES TO THE GALLON.

MAKES YOU PROUD TO BE AN AUSSIE" DOESN'T IT?

[swaghauler]

Originally Posted by Legbreaker

Just in time for Christmas.
Attachment 1700

Leg;

Some constructive criticism here. You need to make a couple of changes but as a "machinegun tourist" I'll still take two tickets.

The first change you have to make is to move the Captain's .50 caliber machineguns down to the rail. There are at least a dozen Class 3 Gun Rental dealerships that will let you do a "mad minute" on a .50 or a minigun so this isn't enough of a "treat" to merit a "Captain's Gun Mount."

I'd suggest dual 40mm Bofors Autocannon. These are rare enough to be a true "treat" for a "machinegun tourist" (Knob Creek is the only place I've ever seen this offered to the public). You could do TWO mounts, one for the "Captain's Crew" and the other headed by a "Featured Entertainer" headlining on the cruise (for some reason Ted Nugent comes to mind immediately). They could compete to see who sinks a pirate "Mothership" first.

[pmulcahy11b]

Originally Posted by General Pain

I'd like to know what he's using for his trigger finger...

[Legbreaker]

Attachment 3553

Attachment 3554

Attachment 3555

Attachment 3556

Attachment 3557

[LT. Ox]

I must tell you that is the wors.......... Ah hell I go to have some integrity
I love it

[Legbreaker]

Attachment 3681

[Legbreaker]

Attachment 3696

[Legbreaker]

Attachment 4034