And Now For Something Different: USMC Recruitment Standards

[dragoon500ly]

I always enjoy getting snail mail....I never get tired of seeing all of the things that I will win if only....

A bit of background about my self...I'm a 51 year old government employee, a veteran of the US Army and a disabled veteran complete with hearing loss and a peg leg and enjoying the need to use reading glasses for just about everything...

You can imagine my joy to receive a letter informing me that the United States Marine Corps wants me to enlist. A review of my ASVAB (from 1976!!!)confirms that I have the right skills to be a Marine and to please call my local recruiter to start the paperwork...

What the hell? Are they scrapping the bottom of the manpower pool aready!?!?!? What is this, Twilight 2000!!!!!

ROFLMAO!!!!!

[Panther Al]

Speaking from experience, there is waivers for *everything*, and remember, your years of service don't count against your age for enlistment! So subtract those years from your real age, and that's how old the military thinks you are!

[dragoon500ly]

Let's just say that I was not expecting the ole Mouldy Crotch to request my invaluable skills...my next door neighbor has to use an oxygen tank...think I should give them his name as well, he was a Sergeant during the Korean War?

[StainlessSteelCynic]

Thanks for the laughs dragoon500ly, I thought it was a bad enough joke that the Aussie Army asked me to come back for the adventure in East Timor after I had been out of the Army for 5 years (very out of shape and a bit overweight by then) but your story truly wins the prize.
I'm still chuckling to myself

[atiff]

Oh, good, so there is hope for me yet

[pmulcahy11b]

You should go down to the recruiting center and present yourself and the recruiting letter just to see the absolutely precious looks on their faces!

[weswood]

Originally Posted by pmulcahy11b

You should go down to the recruiting center and present yourself and the recruiting letter just to see the absolutely precious looks on their faces!

And take a camera, I would love to see that!

[dragoon500ly]

Originally Posted by pmulcahy11b

You should go down to the recruiting center and present yourself and the recruiting letter just to see the absolutely precious looks on their faces!

I was thinking of digging out the old dress blues, leave the peg leg at home and crutch my way into their office....after all, its just around the corner from my office...should be on my way to Basic by nightfall!

[Abbott Shaull]

Originally Posted by dragoon500ly

I was thinking of digging out the old dress blues, leave the peg leg at home and crutch my way into their office....after all, its just around the corner from my office...should be on my way to Basic by nightfall!

LOL a lovely vacation from you regular job.

[dragoon500ly]

Originally Posted by StainlessSteelCynic

Thanks for the laughs dragoon500ly, I thought it was a bad enough joke that the Aussie Army asked me to come back for the adventure in East Timor after I had been out of the Army for 5 years (very out of shape and a bit overweight by then) but your story truly wins the prize.
I'm still chuckling to myself

Not a prob SSC....the military truely has its own way of doing things. And what a mystery that method is!!!

[Sanjuro]

Two days before VE Day in 1945, my high school history teacher received his callup papers in the post (Britain had 100% conscription at the time). His mother told him to ignore them, and two days later the police arrived to ask why he had not reported.
The papers had arrived on his 8th birthday...

[dragoon500ly]

Hate to drag this moldy from the archives, but the Marines have not yet learnt their lesson!

Yup!! Once again the USMC has contacted me to join the "The Few, the Proud, the Really Desperate!!"

So, being in a good sport, I pulled out the ole dress blues, left the peg leg in the truck, and crunched my way into my local Marine Corps Recruiter's office. Nothing makes ones day complete until you can reduce a jarhead staff to tears!!!

I have been assured that they will delete my name for their contact list.

So, anyone care to place a small wager on this happening?

[StainlessSteelCynic]

Dragoon! That is... I'm speechless!

So anyway, I'm interested in the wager but I figure I won't have to worry about it for another five years.

And thumbs up to you for going into the recruiting office, I would have loved to have seen that - especially when you indicated you were answering their summons!
I reckon you could probably drop in every now and then for a free coffee and a good laugh with the recruiters after that

[JHart]

Hey dragoon, did the jarheads say "Awe hell, if we knew you were Army, we wouldn't have bothered you"?

[dragoon500ly]

The Sarge played it cool, looked over my DD-214 and told me that I did meet their requirements, then told me that I could get a physical waiver AND my E-7 back...with a straight face.

After we had a good laugh, and a couple of cups of real coffee, he processed the paperwork to delete me from the contact list, and we had another good laugh that it would probably not go into effect until 2035 and not until the Navy had tried hard to get me to apply for Annapolis!

All enjoyed a good laugh about the idiots at Headquarters and shared a few "sea stories".

[Jason Weiser]

Ya know, I am an avid reader of a webcomic known as Terminal Lance, done by a Marine Lance Corporal, now detached (because as I have been assured, there is no such thing as an ex-Marine), whose stories inspire some really, and I do mean really funny comic strips.

Dragoon, you gotta pitch this one to him. I can't help but think this would just be full of awesome.

[swaghauler]

Originally Posted by dragoon500ly

The Sarge played it cool, looked over my DD-214 and told me that I did meet their requirements, then told me that I could get a physical waiver AND my E-7 back...with a straight face.

After we had a good laugh, and a couple of cups of real coffee, he processed the paperwork to delete me from the contact list, and we had another good laugh that it would probably not go into effect until 2035 and not until the Navy had tried hard to get me to apply for Annapolis!

All enjoyed a good laugh about the idiots at Headquarters and shared a few "sea stories".

As I turn 48 this month, I don't know who is MORE obnoxious... the military "reenlistment bonus offers" (especially the Navy for some reason) or the "recruiters" for various Private Military Contractors who E-mail or even call me. I can get into enough trouble without having to fly to Africa or the Middle East for two years to do it. I'm too damned old to be eating "monkey meat" and drinking "non-potable" water now....

[ArmySGT.]

Originally Posted by swaghauler

As I turn 48 this month, I don't know who is MORE obnoxious... the military "reenlistment bonus offers" (especially the Navy for some reason) or the "recruiters" for various Private Military Contractors who E-mail or even call me. I can get into enough trouble without having to fly to Africa or the Middle East for two years to do it. I'm too damned old to be eating "monkey meat" and drinking "non-potable" water now....

Pass the monkey meat.... I haven't had that in a coon's age.

[Adm.Lee]

I did get to tell a Marine recruiter that I was an Army ROTC cadet when he called me. "Well if you ever want to change ** service, you give me a call."

** I wonder if I might have heard "to a REAL" in there, but I didn't.

[Rockwolf66]

Next I know someone will find my Asbav scores and try to enlist me.....Again.

Sorry but I have never been in shape enough to go play with the Marines. I did that once as a teenager.