OT: If you have a teenage daughter

[pmulcahy11b]

I saw Adam Sandler on Jay Leno tonight. He has two daughters, and made an excellent observation:

"If you have a son, you only have to worry about one penis. If you have a daughter, you have to worry about every guy's penis."

[Mohoender]

Just teach your daughters to worry about themselves and think twice. You won't have to worry that much anymore.

Anyway, my daughters are way too young so I don't have to worry yet and I'll give a full answer in about 12-13 years.

For now I'm worrying about the fact that they might not be pretty or attractive. I wish for her to get some because I think that it would be worse for them not to get any.

[Targan]

Originally Posted by Mohoender

For now I'm worrying about the fact that they might not be pretty or attractive. I wish for her to get some because I think that it would be worse for them not to get any.

An interesting and mature observation. I think I agree. I only have one child, a 9 year old daughter.

[Graebarde]

I agree with Adam Sandler's observation. I have two daughter's (both grown and with kids) but I still worry for them. More than for the four boys that is. Why? Because I use to be a skirt chaser and know what goes through the mind of most of the boys. But then I know if you teach the girls right, that's half the battle and teach the boys too.

I threw one of my youngest daughter's 'boy friends' off the second floor balcony into the bushes below. It upset my daughter at the time, but since then she mentions it to me occassionally and thanks me for doing it. He was a TOTAL punk. He brought his dad back later, but HE was smarter than his kid and left.. always wonder if the Revelation double had anything to do with it?

Grae

[Jason Weiser]

...takes notes on this thread when HE has kids.

Just three questions Grae?

1. When you pitched the young man off the balcony...did you go for hang time or distance?

2. Did he bounce when he landed?

3. Was there a convinient beehive or were the bushes thorny?

[firewalker]

Originally Posted by Mohoender

You won't have to worry that much anymore.

it's been my expirance that frase vary seldom gose with the labal parnt

[Raellus]

I worry about this kind of thing all the time. And my daughter's only 1 & 1/2!

[Mohoender]

Just to remind you that your actual daughters might also become lesbians (so you don't only have to worry about eventual punks) .

Then, may I respectfully suggest that you either start giving a fair amount of money to some kind of religious institution or invest in heart medications.

Of course, Grae's solution is a valid one (in my very little opinion) but, if the punk's father has a good lawyer, you still might have to invest in heart médications.

Relax or you'll get old way before time. One last thing, quit worrying too much and care a lot (no offense). That has a tiny little chance of saving you from heart pills.

[Graebarde]

Originally Posted by Jason Weiser

...takes notes on this thread when HE has kids.

Just three questions Grae?

1. When you pitched the young man off the balcony...did you go for hang time or distance?

2. Did he bounce when he landed?

3. Was there a convinient beehive or were the bushes thorny?

1. Distance actually.. I was a bit too peeved at the time to consider hang time. Had I had time to hang him I probably would have.

2. Nope, hit the bushes.

3. No beehive, but they were wild roses, thorny.

Grae

[Graebarde]

Originally Posted by Mohoender

Of course, Grae's solution is a valid one (in my very little opinion) but, if the punk's father has a good lawyer, you still might have to invest in heart médications.

You know it's funny you should mention lawyer's. Said punk's dad never tried to sue, nor was the law called. BOTH did surprise me, pleasently I might add. Said punk NEVER came around again either.. though he did attempt to contact my daughter. "Come on over and try to pick her up."

Grae

[Graebarde]

There's the old story I've heard from several directions, and know at least one family that did it. When the boy comes to pick the daughter up (Does that still happen?) the father, and in some cases brothers, were either sitting cleaning the family arsenal or stropping one hell of a big knife. No words of threat etc were said, but the message was clear.

The first time I went to my first wife's home 'to meet the parents' was a Sunday. Her dad was a Marine of Tarawa vintage, missing fingers of his left hand from said incident. Her brother was a year older than I. Incendent occured as brother walks through living room, well not all the way. Dad says to go do something, son says "F... You". In flash Dad is on feet and son is laying on floor out cold. I NEVER messed with the daughter, or even considered it until we were getting married. And when he 'asked' me to do something, you bet your bippy I did it. Learn from OTHERS mistakes.

Grae

[headquarters]

I sometimes joke and say with a texan drawl "I got a shovel,a shotgun and a backyard so whomever you bring over better be nice "

Over here at least the girls are way ahead in the game over their same age boys .

I dont think the teenage girls get "seduced or tricked " much into trouble here ,more than they would actually like .(Every girl especially teenagers like a little drama to flare up and revolve around them -well not all but pretty darn many ).

I get a few stress induced disorders from dealing with the stupidity of teenagers sometimes (flashes of murderous rage ,pictures of peoples head over the front sights of one of my guns etc ) ..(believe me -if the social services werent that advanced here I would have sores on my knuckles from teaching kids decent behaviour-some punk kid acts like a prick and I have to go to jail and have my gun licenses revoked for teaching him some manners or at least showing him that a smart mouth will get you only that far and most likely a solid smack )

Oh well- only 3 years and 8 months until she is 18 . Gonna get her a 100 dollar cab fare for the big day and a duffle bag of ebay to collect her stuff in .After all - being an evil step dad - who could fault me for such a generous contribution ?

Worrying never ends with kids - even when they move out I guess I will worry that everything is going alright .

[pmulcahy11b]

Originally Posted by headquarters

I dont think the teenage girls get "seduced or tricked " much into trouble here ,more than they would actually like .(Every girl especially teenagers like a little drama to flare up and revolve around them -well not all but pretty darn many ).

When it comes to romance and relationships, women always have been and always will be drama queens. It's in their DNA.

[pmulcahy11b]

Originally Posted by Graebarde

You know it's funny you should mention lawyer's. Said punk's dad never tried to sue, nor was the law called. BOTH did surprise me, pleasently I might add. Said punk NEVER came around again either.. though he did attempt to contact my daughter. "Come on over and try to pick her up."

Grae

My brother is the best legal assistant in this part of the country. If I got into legal trouble, he or the lawyer he works for would know exactly who to send to get me out of it. I'm the family IT guy, he's the family legal expert. (If we need to know how to do something in the area of home improvement, we call my sister.)

[pmulcahy11b]

Originally Posted by Mohoender

Just to remind you that your actual daughters might also become lesbians (so you don't only have to worry about eventual punks) .

Relax or you'll get old way before time. One last thing, quit worrying too much and care a lot (no offense). That has a tiny little chance of saving you from heart pills.

You don't think girls can be punks? You're quite mistaken...

I'm already old before my time. And I take high blood pressure and cholesterol medication as well! And I've never even been married or had kids!

[Mohoender]

Originally Posted by Graebarde

There's the old story I've heard from several directions, and know at least one family that did it. When the boy comes to pick the daughter up (Does that still happen?) the father, and in some cases brothers, were either sitting cleaning the family arsenal or stropping one hell of a big knife. No words of threat etc were said, but the message was clear.


Grae

I don't know for US but the Corsicans still do that. Else they are occupied at kiling the pig or the sheep. Actually, girls (and even women) from Corsica always have brothers, someting which is kind of bad news as they might be gorgeous.

The bright side of this is that you might get a strong support for the other women in the family. They usually get the last word.

[Mohoender]

Originally Posted by pmulcahy11b

You don't think girls can be punks? You're quite mistaken...

I'm already old before my time. And I take high blood pressure and cholesterol medication as well! And I've never even been married or had kids!

Of course I do think they can but then you start to add up a lot.

[JimmyRay73]

Originally Posted by Graebarde

There's the old story I've heard from several directions, and know at least one family that did it. When the boy comes to pick the daughter up (Does that still happen?) the father, and in some cases brothers, were either sitting cleaning the family arsenal or stropping one hell of a big knife. No words of threat etc were said, but the message was clear.


Grae

A few years back I went to visit a female friend I hadn't seen in a while, and her Dad brought out his .357 to show it to me. She walked into the room and was appalled, snapping "Dad! I'm not a teenager and you don't have to pull that stunt anymore!" We both kinda chuckled, because he really was just showing off his new toy. His reply was along the lines of "If I was gonna threaten him I would have done it when your mom let him drive my car five years ago. I figure you can take care of yourself."

[kato13]

When I was younger and studying martial arts, every time I got injured I would tell myself I was doing this to protect my future daughters. Still don't have any kids, but I know I would be an over protective dad. Which is exactly the way it should be IMHO.

A funny protective dad story. When I was 20 I was dating a girl of Chinese decent whose father didn't want her dating at all. My being non Chinese did not help. At that time I felt no man could take me down due to the fact I had trained for a long time, was in my peak physical condition and filled with a feeling of youthful invulnerability.

She mentioned to me that if he caught us together he would probably want to fight with me. I wasn't scared but I asked some basic "know your enemy" questions. "Oh he knows how to fight from the army" was the first detail I got out of her. Didn't phase me, figured it was basic training or such.

A few weeks later I found out he was some type of instructor in the Taiwanese army. Ok getting a little nervous. Hopefully some type of non combat instructor. After a little more digging. Nope former Taiwanese Special Forces martial arts instructor.

She was lucky I really liked her or I would have bolted right then. Aggressive Special Forces martial arts instructors protecting their daughters can be quite intimidating.

We broke up several month later without any incidents. Later on I actually helped her get away from a semi-abusive boyfriend. After that and her father respected me for protecting her. Still friends with him and her til this day.

I'm lucky I never had to fight him. I sparred with him once. 15 years after the incident I still cannot figure out exactly how he got me in that hold.

[Targan]

Cool story Kato.