Just In: Osama is dead

[Targan]

Originally Posted by Legbreaker

The end it nigh! Repent your sins!

Oh dear. That's going to take me a while...

[bobcat]

if the rapture is over why did i have to PMCS my truck?

[Targan]

The eagle has landed! Oh wait, that's a raptor, not the rapture. My bad

[dragoon500ly]

Well, after waiting with baited breath for all of 0.2 seconds...it appears that the Rapture did not occur as sceduled. A reliable source has confirmed that the Family Network is re-reading its goat entrails to find the actual date and time of the Rapture.

Sooooo...

It looks like all of you sinners out there have yet another chance to repent your sins and mail your tax-deductible donation to the Family Network and assist them in their God-given quest to scare the c**p out of everyone!

And what a pity!

I was kinda looking forward to the Zombie Librarians!!!!!

[StainlessSteelCynic]

You guys aren't out of it yet. From what I hear tell, 21st May is only the START of the rapture. There will be an increasing number of natural disasters culminating with the destruction of the Earth on 21st October 2011.

I ain't worried though, I'm a practicing drunken delusionist, I take my spirit via a bottle until the world is a round plate supported on the backs of four elephants who are in turn carried on the back of a giant space turtle and I am a meat popsicle.



(1 point for anyone identifying the popsicle reference and 4 points for the space turtle)

[95th Rifleman]

Originally Posted by StainlessSteelCynic

You guys aren't out of it yet. From what I hear tell, 21st May is only the START of the rapture. There will be an increasing number of natural disasters culminating with the destruction of the Earth on 21st October 2011.

I ain't worried though, I'm a practicing drunken delusionist, I take my spirit via a bottle until the world is a round plate supported on the backs of four elephants who are in turn carried on the back of a giant space turtle and I am a meat popsicle.



(1 point for anyone identifying the popsicle reference and 4 points for the space turtle)

My money is on the Mayans getting it right.

[StainlessSteelCynic]

Originally Posted by 95th Rifleman

My money is on the Mayans getting it right.

Sorry, I can't agree. The Mayans pretty much got their End Of The World in the 1500s. I think the 512 year margin is just a little too big to take as 'acceptable error margin'!

[dragoon500ly]

Originally Posted by StainlessSteelCynic

Sorry, I can't agree. The Mayans pretty much got their End Of The World in the 1500s. I think the 512 year margin is just a little too big to take as 'acceptable error margin'!

I don't know....you've never suffered through an Internal Revenue Service audit!!!!

[weswood]

Originally Posted by StainlessSteelCynic

I ain't worried though, I'm a practicing drunken delusionist, I take my spirit via a bottle until the world is a round plate supported on the backs of four elephants who are in turn carried on the back of a giant space turtle and I am a meat popsicle.



(1 point for anyone identifying the popsicle reference and 4 points for the space turtle)

No idea on the popsicle thing, but I believe I read about the space turtle in a couple of Stephen Kings books, IT comes primarily to mind. But what is the space turtle standing on?

[Legbreaker]

Yawn, that would be Korben Dallas in one of the better movies Bruce Willis starred in, The Fifth Element.
As for the turtle, that can only be Terry Pratchett's fault!

[pmulcahy11b]

Originally Posted by Webstral

Do zombie librarians still wear the pencil skirts, hair up, and glasses? That would fill me with an intriguing mix of horror and longing.

Webstral

Yep, and they're constantly intoning you to be quiet as they beat you to death with heavy books.

[pmulcahy11b]

You know, it occurs to me that librarians must have decent upper body strength from moving around all those books.

[StainlessSteelCynic]

Originally Posted by Legbreaker

Yawn, that would be Korben Dallas in one of the better movies Bruce Willis starred in, The Fifth Element.
As for the turtle, that can only be Terry Pratchett's fault!

Hmm, it occurs to me that you spend far too much time watching sci-fi movies and reading books by humorous British authors...

Oh, wait, that's not you I'm talking about, that's me...

Correct on both references!

[Panther Al]

Originally Posted by Legbreaker

Yawn, that would be Korben Dallas in one of the better movies Bruce Willis starred in, The Fifth Element.
As for the turtle, that can only be Terry Pratchett's fault!

As far as the movie goes, I couldn't agree more. While I like a lot of his stuff to the point where I have no worries about watching - even if I don't go out of my way to do so, the Fifth Element is the exception. Weird, wonky, but really really good.



Big Badda Boom!

[Targan]

I've read somewhere that at the time of its release The Fifth Element was the most expensive French film ever made.

[dragoon500ly]

Well, it turns out that the Rupture didn't occur on time due to an error. Most likely involving the drinking of tea leaves instead of reading the tea leaves.

Instead, the Rapture has been rescheduled for October 21st, 2011 in order to give all of those sinners out there time to get their lives in order. The Family Network in no way recommends that its members max out their credit cards, sell off personnel belongings or incur huge debts, because, to be frank, this is the second time that they have made this claim and everybody is afraid of the "Strike Three! You're Out!" rule recently discovered in a tea bag reading held this weekend.

Since, as a former cavalry trooper, I do not have to worry about my entrance into heaven (Sorry Saint Peter....I've served my time in Hell!). I plan on sitting back on a sunny beach, with my family, and sipping cold drinks served in pineapples with those cute little umbrellas and watching the mayhem insure.

Happy October 21st, 2011 and if I owe you money....the check will be posted on the 22nd!

[mikeo80]

Originally Posted by dragoon500ly

I plan on sitting back on a sunny beach, with my family, and sipping cold drinks served in pineapples with those cute little umbrellas and watching the mayhem insure.

Happy October 21st, 2011 and if I owe you money....the check will be posted on the 22nd!

I'm with Dragoon500!!!!

Although, I think I will be sipping on a single malt scotch.

Or, to quote from George Thorogood:

"One Bourbon, one Scotch, and one Beer!"



My two cents

Mike

[simonmark6]

I'm not too worried about the Mayans. The kids in my school are obsessed with the world ending in 2012 and some quote the Mayan calender theory. I explained the fact that they had about five hundred or so years left on the clock so the conversation could have gone:
Mayan Astrologer 1: Hey, Paco, we need to get the next thousand years of the calender done...
Mayan Astrologer 2: Don't be soft, we've got five hundred years left before we run out already, let's go see those funny white people, we can finish the calender tomorrow, what's going to happen? It's not the end of the world...

To back up my theory I pointed out that the whole T2K crisis came about because no one thought about what would happen if people wanted to use their computers after 1999...

[95th Rifleman]

Never understood the fascination with the end of the world. It's going to happen sooner or later, if it happens later I'll probably be dead and won't have to worry about it. If it happens sooner it's gonna kill me so I don't need to worry too much about it anyway.

[Mohoender]

I'm definitely with Rifleman on that one.

[weswood]

Originally Posted by 95th Rifleman

Never understood the fascination with the end of the world. It's going to happen sooner or later, if it happens later I'll probably be dead and won't have to worry about it. If it happens sooner it's gonna kill me so I don't need to worry too much about it anyway.

Yep. I always figured if T2K type war ever actually happened, I'd be toast anyhow. My home town is a target, either 3 or 5 kt if I rember right.

[Raellus]

Originally Posted by simonmark6

I'm not too worried about the Mayans. The kids in my school are obsessed with the world ending in 2012 and some quote the Mayan calender theory. I explained the fact that they had about five hundred or so years left on the clock so the conversation could have gone:
Mayan Astrologer 1: Hey, Paco, we need to get the next thousand years of the calender done...
Mayan Astrologer 2: Don't be soft, we've got five hundred years left before we run out already, let's go see those funny white people, we can finish the calender tomorrow, what's going to happen? It's not the end of the world...

To back up my theory I pointed out that the whole T2K crisis came about because no one thought about what would happen if people wanted to use their computers after 1999...

This is good stuff. My students are obsessed with 2012 as well and no amount of explaining the known facts about the Mayan calendar system will convince most of them that the 2012 end of the world "prophesy" is just a whole lot of bunk. I think this will actually help. Thanks!

[LBraden]

In reference to the "Nuclear War" situation, be it T2K, T2013 or "real nuclear war", I know I would be dead, not instant, but I do have that backup, but I know we would be COVERED in radiation here, as I live in a small town called Castleford in West Yorkshire in the UK, its only about 5 miles from Leeds, then you have a tonne of old "mechanical yards" areas here, since the mining dried up and factories moved to China for cheap labour, this area has suffered, but under the T2K and T2013 timelines, I doubt that would have happened.

[mikeo80]

Originally Posted by weswood

Yep. I always figured if T2K type war ever actually happened, I'd be toast anyhow. My home town is a target, either 3 or 5 kt if I rember right.

I agree with Weswood. I live about 8 miles/15 km from Fort Bragg, NC. If the balloon goes up, and I am at work, (ON Ft. Bragg) there will be a quick flash and I'm toast. If I am home, the big flash, then a lot of if, then, maybe's as to what happens next.

[Mohoender]

Originally Posted by mikeo80

I agree with Weswood. I live about 8 miles/15 km from Fort Bragg, NC. If the balloon goes up, and I am at work, (ON Ft. Bragg) there will be a quick flash and I'm toast. If I am home, the big flash, then a lot of if, then, maybe's as to what happens next.

You and Weswood are lucky guys. I live a few miles away from a potential target but, due to the mountainous area I'm living in, I have little chance to be toasted. I, however, be cooking for a few days before passing out.

[Panther Al]

Reminds me of a conversation I had years ago while I was living at Fort Carson (Colorado Springs). One of the guys pointed out that they would be fine, since the books said the Springs Survived, and that they was using Fort Carson as a operations base.

I asked him a number of things:

One, How many Megatonnage was dropped on NORAD? Something like 3MT he said. "Right" I go, "Step outside shall we?" And we step out of the game store located in Northern Colorado Springs. I point to the south southwest, at a mountain top covered in antennas, "Whats that?" I ask, He goes, "NORAD." "Right, and whats 3 miles in that direction?" I follow up, pointing to the east, "Its the AFB where all our satellite stuff, like, oh... GPS.. is run from. And those tracks there? Main choke point in rail traffic going North South in the west. Do you really think if they dropped 3 Megatons on the pair of targets in this city that rates primary attention, that Fort Carson - which if you stand at gate one can put lead from a .50 on the front gate of the NORAD complex - and the city itself, which is a 10-15 minute drive during rush hour from the AF Academy at the far north to NORAD at the SSW corner of the city would still be here?"

He gave no comment.

[Abbott Shaull]

Originally Posted by mikeo80

I agree with Weswood. I live about 8 miles/15 km from Fort Bragg, NC. If the balloon goes up, and I am at work, (ON Ft. Bragg) there will be a quick flash and I'm toast. If I am home, the big flash, then a lot of if, then, maybe's as to what happens next.

LOL I would be too. We live a block from the Soo Locks... Not one of the first targets, but would still be up on the list...

[Abbott Shaull]

Originally Posted by Panther Al

Reminds me of a conversation I had years ago while I was living at Fort Carson (Colorado Springs). One of the guys pointed out that they would be fine, since the books said the Springs Survived, and that they was using Fort Carson as a operations base.

I asked him a number of things:

One, How many Megatonnage was dropped on NORAD? Something like 3MT he said. "Right" I go, "Step outside shall we?" And we step out of the game store located in Northern Colorado Springs. I point to the south southwest, at a mountain top covered in antennas, "Whats that?" I ask, He goes, "NORAD." "Right, and whats 3 miles in that direction?" I follow up, pointing to the east, "Its the AFB where all our satellite stuff, like, oh... GPS.. is run from. And those tracks there? Main choke point in rail traffic going North South in the west. Do you really think if they dropped 3 Megatons on the pair of targets in this city that rates primary attention, that Fort Carson - which if you stand at gate one can put lead from a .50 on the front gate of the NORAD complex - and the city itself, which is a 10-15 minute drive during rush hour from the AF Academy at the far north to NORAD at the SSW corner of the city would still be here?"

He gave no comment.

LOL... It is so fun when you point out something that obvious...

[mikeo80]

Originally Posted by Abbott Shaull

LOL... It is so fun when you point out something that obvious...

I think the appropriate response to this is the following truism:

Don't confuse the issue with facts.



My two cents

Mike

[pmulcahy11b]

By the T2K timeline San Antonio had three secondary targets and a tertiary target: Randolph AFB (Air Training Command and a SAC dispersal base), Kelly AFB ( heavy aircraft maintenance depot and also a SAC dispersal base), Ft Sam Houston (8th Army HQ, MEDDAC HQ, and primary training ground for medics, including SF medics), and Lackland AFB (Air Force basic training, and first stop for PJs in training, as well as being the primary school for training military dogs). I don't think the scenario in Red Star, Lone Star would have actually taken place.