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  #61  
Old 12-05-2019, 06:45 AM
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Legbreaker Legbreaker is offline
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If it moves, shoot it, if not push it, if it still doesn't move, use explosives.

Nothing happens in isolation - it's called "the butterfly effect"

Mors ante pudorem

Last edited by Legbreaker; 04-29-2021 at 04:56 AM.
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  #62  
Old 12-05-2019, 06:46 AM
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If it moves, shoot it, if not push it, if it still doesn't move, use explosives.

Nothing happens in isolation - it's called "the butterfly effect"

Mors ante pudorem

Last edited by Legbreaker; 04-29-2021 at 04:56 AM.
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  #63  
Old 12-05-2019, 10:07 AM
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pmulcahy11b pmulcahy11b is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Legbreaker View Post
The President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
'Hallo, Mr. President !' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'
'Well Paddy, Mr. President replied. How big is your army?'
'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!'
Mr. President paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.'
'Begorra!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. President, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'
'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Mr. President asks.
'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'
Mr. President sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'
'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. President , the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'
Mr. President was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided,surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!'
'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. President ! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'
Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Mr. President . 'Why the sudden change of heart?'
'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no f****n' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'
Kind of reminds me of that exchange at Arnhem Bridge in A Bridge Too Far. (May not be correct from the movie).

German: We would like you to come over and discuss terms of surrender.
British Para (Outnumbered 5-to-1 by the Germans, including armored Vehicles): I'm sorry, but we don't have the facilities to accept your surrender at this time.
German: (Looks very confused, as if he didn't understand what the Para was saying, then shrugs his shoulders and walks away)
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War is the absence of reason. But then, life often demands unreasonable responses. - Lucian Soulban, Warhammer 40000 series, Necromunda Book 6, Fleshworks

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  #64  
Old 12-12-2019, 08:56 PM
swaghauler swaghauler is offline
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Manny Mansfield is back with another informative video...

https://youtu.be/kgHhnPhv2bU
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  #65  
Old 01-21-2020, 07:04 PM
swaghauler swaghauler is offline
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Default "Wanna Box For That?"

It seems like a simple question until it's not!

https://youtu.be/aGsjrPsKnUQ
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  #66  
Old 02-18-2020, 11:24 AM
swaghauler swaghauler is offline
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Default People You See On The Range

This is so true!

https://youtu.be/4g5p6b-ZZ5Y
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  #67  
Old 02-04-2021, 03:18 PM
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Attachment 4569
__________________
If it moves, shoot it, if not push it, if it still doesn't move, use explosives.

Nothing happens in isolation - it's called "the butterfly effect"

Mors ante pudorem

Last edited by Legbreaker; 04-29-2021 at 04:56 AM.
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  #68  
Old 05-28-2021, 01:39 PM
swaghauler swaghauler is offline
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So you think you're cool? You'll NEVER be cooler than a tattooed guy with a mohawk wearing a leather kilt playing ACDC's Thunderstruck on a set of bagpipes that double as a FLAMETHROWER!

https://youtu.be/K-Op1Mng4oY

swag.
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