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Originally Posted by Mohoender
I can't add anything, it says it all.  |
I have been crying alot lately. I miss my boys so damn much. I've been taking extra meds to make me stay asleep. i know that it isn't healthy. but i hurt so damn much that i have to find a way to get through the day without breaking down into tears. it's part of the reason i wanted to set up the play-by-post game here. hoping that would take up as much of the time and keep my mind off my boys. and how much i hurt and ache to be holding them.
i dont know what to do anymore. i can't find a way to get through the days. just sitting here, watching tv or just looking at the boys pictures, sitting in their bedroom clutching their toys. its killing me, and there isnt anything i can do. i keep finding the little notes and letters she left, saying how much she loved me. and how she would never leave me, that we would be together forever and ever. how she trusted me to be faithful, but was so worried and frightened that someone would steal me away from her.
but now this... she accused me of needing someone so bad, but i've survived so many physical injuries all by myself. i only needed her and the boys. i wish that she would have let me die. told them to take me off the life support machines, she knew i didn't want to be on a machine.