Some T2K artwork i've done...

[natehale1971]

Originally Posted by kato13

You can't turn off love. The only way to get rid of it is by passing through pain. I have had many nights where I work and work and work keeping my brain full so I can keep the pain on the very edges of my brain. I often work until I am so tired I can fall asleep without thinking. I hope we can help you find a way to cope until the pain subsides. It will get better.

I hope you are right. i really do. i still love her,and just dont understand how she can stop loving me. when she said that she never loved me, that she only married me out of pity.that really hurt.

[kato13]

Originally Posted by natehale1971

I hope you are right. i really do. i still love her,and just dont understand how she can stop loving me. when she said that she never loved me, that she only married me out of pity.that really hurt.

She was lying or trying to convince herself that was the truth. Women say things they don't mean all the time. I'm not saying men don't as well, but women really know how to twist the dagger with words.

[natehale1971]

Originally Posted by kato13

She was lying or trying to convince herself that was the truth. Women say things they don't mean all the time. I'm not saying men don't as well, but women really know how to twist the dagger with words.

i guess so.. i just, dont understand all this. i just miss my boys so damn bad. this has been killing me. and when i ask her to put herself in my shoes, she says no, that she'll never do that.

[kato13]

Originally Posted by natehale1971

i guess so.. i just, dont understand all this. i just miss my boys so damn bad. this has been killing me. and when i ask her to put herself in my shoes, she says no, that she'll never do that.

While not defending her, I think I do understand what she is doing. (Know thy enemy). She is trying to push you as far away as possible so she can run away from what she has done. I think she is hoping for "out of sight out of mind". She also has to justify to herself keeping your boys away from you. It is totally not fair to you and totally selfish but it has a logic (twisted as it might be).

While you are going to be away from you boys for a while you will always be their father. As has been said before the more she tries to keep them from you the more they will want to be with you.

[natehale1971]

Originally Posted by kato13

While not defending her, I think I do understand what she is doing. (Know thy enemy). She is trying to push you as far away as possible so she can run away from what she has done. I think she is hoping for "out of sight out of mind". She also has to justify to herself keeping your boys away from you. It is totally not fair to you and totally selfish but it has a logic (twisted as it might be).

While you are going to be away from you boys for a while you will always be their father. As has been said before the more she tries to keep them from you the more they will want to be with you.

I hope so. Jack already knows that i want to be with him, because he was sitting in my lap asking if i was going to get to stay this last time. And when told him i couldn't stay, he nodded his head and said "because of mummy and 'om." i never wanted the boys to hate her. its why i haven't killed myself. i hurt so damn bad. i just wish that things could be like it was before they left for the UK.

[kato13]

Originally Posted by natehale1971

I hope so. Jack already knows that i want to be with him, because he was sitting in my lap asking if i was going to get to stay this last time. And when told him i couldn't stay, he nodded his head and said "because of mummy and 'om." i never wanted the boys to hate her. its why i haven't killed myself. i hurt so damn bad. i just wish that things could be like it was before they left for the UK.

The pain will diminish. There will be real rough patches, but you will hold them again. You just have to endure for now. Remember your boys need you.

[Targan]

Originally Posted by kato13

While not defending her, I think I do understand what she is doing. (Know thy enemy). She is trying to push you as far away as possible so she can run away from what she has done.

That was exactly my assessment too. Saying what she said is clearly a deliberate strategy and I doubt it is the truth.

Originally Posted by kato13

While you are going to be away from you boys for a while you will always be their father. As has been said before the more she tries to keep them from you the more they will want to be with you.

You should listen to Kato, Nate. His are wise words.

[kato13]

Originally Posted by Targan

You should listen to Kato, Nate. His are wise words.

As they are originally yours I believe they are extra wise.

[Adm.Lee]

I'm no shrink, but I feel moved to jump in here.

I can only repeat what my Pop told me when my 2nd son lay dying in the hospital: "The pain will never go away, but it will diminish." He was quoting a friend who had lost a daughter.

Seven years later, the pain is largely gone, the memories are not. I trusted in God, and life hasgotten better. I thank God for that, I feel that He had something to do with it.

My situation is not yours, and I am not you, so all I have are suggestions. I can suggest to live through it, and you will find yourself living again. Also, don't try to go through it alone.

{I don't know your opinion on religion, so I will apologize if bringing up my Christianity bothers you; but my faith has been my biggest prop.}