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#1
05-19-2009, 04:07 PM
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Morrow Project Artwork i've done...
    
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#3
05-19-2009, 04:37 PM
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thank you.. you should see my artwork thta i've done while actually sitting at the gaming table during a game. Or my adult artwork for that matter.
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#5
05-19-2009, 06:15 PM
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Quote:
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#7
06-27-2009, 03:30 AM
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Thank you for the compliment!
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#8
07-23-2009, 12:19 PM
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Great work !
I started on this forum with the MP uniforms thread and now I have a better idea of what you are talking about there. Thanks for the insight on the assault vest as well ! Be well and I also know what its like to miss a son so I sympathize.
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#9
07-23-2009, 12:49 PM
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thank you.
i miss my sons so damn bad, it hurts more than any other pain i have ever suffered. emma swore she would never do anything like this to me. that she would never throw me away. it's been exactly one year ago since the wreck. one year ago exactly as i write this, i was brought out of the OR and slipped into a week and half long coma. emma had called the hospital all through the day when i was in that coma. demanding to know how HER HUSBAND was doing, and why the doctors and nurses where not calling her to keep her informed of my status. when i woke from the coma, she called me and said she loved me, and wanted me to get well enough to get on a plane to get to her so she could take care of me. but she has already found someone else. and the boys know i can't be there because of her and her new boyfriend. when i was there in may Jack asked if i was finally going to be staying, and i started crying and said no. he wiped my tears away and said "because of mummy and 'om." my boysknow i love them. that i miss them. and they know its herfault that i cantbe there.
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it.
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#10
07-23-2009, 03:38 PM
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Forgive my ignorance, you were wounded in action ?
I didn't mean to open your emotional wounds but I must say that I know some of how you feel. My X didn't know her Father until she was 25 years old because her Mother told her that he was dead all of her life. You'd think she would never stand in the way of someone who wanted to maintain a relationship she never really knew...but no. She has done nothing but do her damnedest to stand in my way. Lies in the court room and a bureaucracy that makes decisions with the rest of your life in a cold 15 minutes has aided her mission. She forgot one thing: my son would soon approach manhood and make his up his own mind without her steering. I wait patiently because that's all I have...it all started when he was only 8 months old and now he's 15. I am half Sicilian and Half Gibraltarian, he's a quarter Sicilian and a teen ager and I wouldn't wish that on a broke dick dog, as they say !! Now he says he wants to live with me for over a year now, we took it to court once and she lied her way out of it and kept him from speaking his mind in court but every dog has his day...and I'll be there watching my son look in the direction of manhood. There have been countless boyfriends and she's on her second husband, my son and he don't get along but that is to be expected with the revolving man syndrome that she has. I know this doesn't sound encouraging to you but you must NEVER lose your cool in the face of whatever happens or you forfeit the game and you CANNOT lose. My advice is to stay as frosty as you can muster, keep your nose clean, NEVER bad mouth the mother no matter how much (if at all) she may, do your thing, heal yourself, think about explaining things to the boys as they get older (i had to wait a long time before my son could even talk) and when the time is right you'll say all the right(truthful) things. Above all let them draw their own conclusions as you do the best Fathering job you can. Now, I am in construction and out of steady work for about 8 months now. No child support-no visitation. With the way economy is going-or not going- I'm going to have scramble big time to catch up and even still it'll be an easy year before I can recover, pay my arrears up and get the kid on a plane without her causing a problem. We may be living the Morrow Project before that happens for all I know at this point.
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#11
07-23-2009, 07:15 PM
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I was injuried when i was in the service. but that's not the problems i'm having at the moment. Today (23 July) is exactly one year since the wreck that killed me happened. i had asked God as they took me from the ER to the OR "Please God, if my marriage isn't going to work out. Please don't let me wake up."
I died on the operating table, and twice more when i was in a week and half coma. They put me on life support, something everyone knew (because i have told them over and over again) that i NEVER wanted to be on life support. even if only for a second. I keep wondering if God said okay, but they intervered and brought me back. Everyone tells me that God has given me a second chance and that I shouldn't let it go to waste. I would never do anything stupid, because i don't want the boys to blame themselves or Emma for me killing myself. My boys are 4 (Jack) and 2 (Zachary), and they know that their daddy loves them, and they want me to be there with them. But it's Emma who is keeping us apart. They remember who I am. Even after it had been a year since I had seen them last. Being apart like this is killing me. this hurts worse than the pain from having the wreck. they put my legs back on, and put metal in my legs to hold the shattered bones together. And it hurts like you wouldn't believe. i take methadone and oxycodone for the pain. i even have to take muscle relaxants just to sleep without the muscles they put back together from jerking me so hard i fly out of my bed. i still love her. and i feel so damn stupid. she promised she would never do something like this to me. she pomised.
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it.
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#12
07-23-2009, 07:41 PM
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I just want to say again Nate that we are all pulling for you. Today being an anniversary just means that hopefully you are pulling further away from the worst of the situations. God did reach out and give you a second chance for a reason and you purpose is not fulfilled yet. If we can be here for inspiration, distraction, venting, support, or anything else please take advantage of it.
Last edited by kato13; 07-23-2009 at 08:11 PM.
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#13
07-23-2009, 09:05 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it.
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#14
07-24-2009, 07:43 AM
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Nate,
I don't believe in coincidences and although the exact reasons for your present conditions may seem horrific and unfair they will make their lessons known to you in the future. I know, as I said earlier, some of your suffering and one thing that I learned is that when you have children offing yourself is no longer an option no matter how appropriate it may seem. Trust a stranger on this one. The isolation and loneliness you speak of I know all too well. The sleep deprivation, the images that are endearing to almost everyone kill you inside a little each time you see them but see them you will, over and over. It seems almost impossible right now but they will get easier to handle if you start thinking that at some point those images will include you. Happiness will find you and the boys if you are willing to hang in and its very likely that the boys themselves will carry it to you. My son's mother has done everything from then to now to demonize me and alienate me from my son. There were times when I felt like talking a long walk from the whole thing but I hung in long enough for me to realize through him that her brain washing didn't work. Its done some damage, no doubt but not enough to destry my image in his mind. I wish I had something to tell you about your physical pain, I don't like the drugs they pump you up with. Oxycodone is evil and I have lost several friends to the addiction to it. The pain is horrible, I can only imagine, but the drugs can mess up your head and liver. I don't have an alternative for you on that one I just wish there was another way to get you some relief. You need to get yourself out of that apartment as much as you are able and get some wind in your hair, do some people watching, talk to people and rediscover your world again. You must rebuild yourself...for the boys. I am here to tell you that a day will most certainly come when the boys will need you and want your company and council on things that their mother can't help them with and other men can't give them. You only get issued one Father and that's you
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#15
07-24-2009, 11:41 AM
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thank you for your kind words. i try to get out, i really do. i even walked to the walmart at the begining of July so i could get my VA disability check cashed so i could pay my rent. I still haven't rully recovered from that. but i was able to make a walk that use to take me 10 minutes that ended up taking an hour and half. but i did it. i love my boys, and i can't wait to be able to hold them again. my heart hurts so much, my arms ache to just hold them. when i was there in may, they where so loving. and they knew the last day.. they knew i was going back here. they didn't want to leave, they wanted to stay with me at their grandparents as long as they could. but emma wanted to go back home. jack said please come back soon. emma's mom said that the boys keep asking for me. she promised she wouldn't do this, she promised that she would try to make our marriage work out. but she lied. the only think keeping me going is the boys. all through my time at the VAMC in asheville that kept me going was the fact emma had called me when i came out of the coma and said she loved me, and wanted me there in the UK as soon as i could get on a plane. my docotrs and therapists thought i was pushing to hard because i had started walking on the parallel bars in October. something they said i shouldn't be starting until December at the earliest. all because she said that she loved me, and that she wanted me to get there as quickly as i could. after the accident when i was in Carolinas Medical Center, i went crazy because of all the different drugs they had given me. i didn't know who i was, didn't know who my mother was, but i knew who Emma and the boys where. every morning they kept asking me if i knew where i was. and when i asked why they kept asking me what country i was in, they said it was because i had thought i was in england and they had been keeping me away from my wife and boys. she promised she would never do this, because she knew how many times i had been hurt in the past. how many times i had been thrown away by those i loved. the only things i have loved that hasn't thrown me away has been God, my country and my Boys. they are the only ones who haven't thrown me away.
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it.
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#16
07-24-2009, 01:13 PM
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Nate your boys still need you. The distance hides that from you but does not change it. I am sure you know that sometimes the hardest things to do are those where you cannot immediately see the benefit. You are trying to build something and you feel the foundation has been washed out from underneath you. You still can build though. You may have to dig through a lot of mud until you can latch onto something solid, but building is still possible. I am not trying to minimize your pain. I am only saying that you survived for a reason, and that while the path may seem impossible right now, eventually you will find a way. You have to for them.
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#17
07-24-2009, 01:43 PM
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Thank you.. i know i have to stay for the boys, working harder and harder to be there for them when they need me. i know they want me, and that is what gives me hope and purpose. its just so damn hard being lone here in this apartment surrounded by all the memories of the only time in my life that i was actually happy and complete. i sleep with some of their stuffed animals that hadn't been shipped over to them yet.
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it.
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#18
07-26-2009, 07:52 PM
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Nate,
I wish I had more to say that bring you some relief as it is I'm sure I over stepped my boundaries but I hear of these situations that other men are enduring and my heart goes out to them. Sometimes I feel as if the men in the world today are being wittled down to squeaking little mice and I hate the idea. I'm not chauvinistic in the least but I think a few angry women only think of themselves have sacrificed us on the alter or own children's healthy developement. At this moment I am operating at a very low capacity myself. I don't know what to say about your physical condition as I have never gone through what you are experiencing and never had to deal with the indifference and incompetence of the VA and their red tape. I can offer only my words encouragement as far away as they must be to you. I do know what its like to have 4 walls as room mates and identify with what you are going through there.
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#20
08-01-2009, 03:05 PM
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Situations at home
Hang in there Nate... Just don't seem fair sometimes, but maybe your boys need time to see what's going on, and you need time to heal and get stronger. Things always seem to have a way of working out if you'll stick with it. Sounds like you're making do, just keep on keepin' on!
 )
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#21
08-01-2009, 03:06 PM
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Interesting.. do you have anything posted anywhere else? 8^)
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#22
08-01-2009, 05:26 PM
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I have artwork hosted here
http://www.digifruit.com/aimi/natehale/ and here http://s472.photobucket.com/albums/r...pake2064_1999/ thank you for your kind words and compliments. i really miss my boys, and i know they miss me and want me there with them. hearing a four year old asking you if you are finally there to stay with him and when you say no, him reply "because of mummy and 'om" just breaks your heart. because you know he'll end up resenting his mom for all this. I miss my boys so damn bad.
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it.
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#24
08-02-2009, 05:33 AM
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I use primsacolor markers as well. i have been told by professional illustrators who've seen my work have said they are so glad i'm still 'amature' artist who doesn't work professionally. Larry Elmore told me that back in 1990 when we met at a Sci-Con held in Norfolk. I loved drawing, but i had all but stopped drawing when emma and the boys left for the UK. the only thing i was drawing was pictures of me and emma, emma and the boys, and a portrait of the family together. in fact the last thing i drew was a picture of emma and the boys for her brithday last september.
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it.
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#25
08-07-2009, 03:01 PM
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Fantastic artwork
You are a very talented artist!
I have looked at your artwork and woven some of the characters into my active campaign. We play on a virtual TableTop Software (Its like having a Table Top Role Playing again on Audio Conference but with a central board everyone can see) called iTableTop. Poole from your artwork has become the NPC Commander of the Southern Californian Command Group CA-2 as he just looks so no nonsense not to be a commander. I Wish I could draw as you do as I have so many ideas and concepts that I just do not have the talent to put to paper. If You would like to see some of the posts from the game its at: http://henrick.com/ca4/ The Poole Post is at: http://henrick.com/ca4/?p=96 If you want to take the picture down from the site, please just ask, but I really like the artwork that you do. It adds a great visual element that my game needs. Thanks! Clive Henrick
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#26
08-07-2009, 11:21 PM
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Quote:
I'll check it out tomorrow!
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it.
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#27
09-03-2009, 08:44 AM
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Just wanted to add my congrats and respect for the art work you've done to date...
I think you've captured the essence of the Project with your pictures (including the 'non-standard' weapons of longbow and katana used by a couple of characters). Hopefully something you read here will inspire you to add another image or two to your growing MP repertoire... Cheers! Traveller
__________________
"I Reject Your Reality And Substitute My Own!"
A. Savage; Mythbuster
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#28
09-05-2009, 08:49 PM
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First time I stumbled across this thread. Nate, you're in my prayers and I hope everything works out for you. BTW, good artwork there, I wish I could draw.
Chuck M.
__________________
Slave to 1 cat.
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#29
08-22-2010, 08:23 AM
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I think your work is outstanding. It reminded me of someone that used to do character portraits in pencils for D&D. He would include any special items that the character would have to personalize it that much more. You are truly gifted. Never stop.
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#30
11-06-2010, 01:13 PM
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I use to do D&D and other RPG character portraits for everyone when I was able to get out to gamer stores... I'd sit there while people Role-Played and just absorbed all that creative energy and let it guide my hands while i sat drawing everyone's characters.
I really miss getting to do that.... Another version of the MP uniform (in a model that is alot sexier than the ones i've used in the past)...   
__________________
Fuck being a hero. Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothing! You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah blah blah, attaboy! You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, your kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. I do this because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so I'm doing it. Last edited by natehale1971; 11-06-2010 at 02:05 PM.
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