OT - Stupid things

[dragoon500ly]

"My Blackberry doesn't work! Stupid <insert long series of cursing> piece of government issued crap!!!"

"Did you try turning it on?"

"Of course....hay! Its working now!"

I was laughing so hard I almost spilled my morning cup of coffee!

(The owner of the Blackberry was a GS-12)

[Fusilier]

Teaching science... diversity of living things.

Another teacher in the foreign department with me asks with absolute seriousness, "If evolution is true, then why are there still monkeys." They then sit back and cross their arms with a smug look as if they just single handedly destroyed the basic foundation of modern biology.

I clarify the facts...

They reply, again with seriousness, "My father didn't have sex with no ape."

I stop talking to this person...

[dragoon500ly]

After Hurricane Katrina visited the Gulf Coast, I witnessed this little act.

Home owner was trying to cut up some downed trees. He really didn't know how to use a chain saw.

After fueling, he stood astride the chain saw and attempted to start it. His first pull didn't start the engine...although he did succeed in striking himself in the groin with the blade....the end product of thousands of years of evolution!

[simonmark6]

I've got millions:

I pulled a kid out on an assembly given by a visiting NASA astronaut. I was lecturing him on giving respect to the man and he said, "Come on, Sir, it's hardly rocket science is it."

History revision:
My question: Which British scientist helped codify Classical and Medieval Medical theories?
Kid: Kevin Bacon!

Child Development:
Sir, cows have two stomachs don't they? So how do they know which stomach they are having their baby in? ( I had words with the class teacher after that one...)

Marking a history exam where the child was asked to evalute the position of Custer at the Little Big Horn:

Custer split his command into three and sent them all over the place. He then led his bit of the command into three thousand howling Indians that outnumbered him more than ten to one. They had more men and better rifles and they surrounded him. Basically, Custer was fucked.

I awarded him partial credit...

Last one for now:
I got into a discussion with one of our more challenging bretheren about why the school was actively discouraging his relationship with a certain young lady:
Danny: "Why can't I go out with Georgia?"
Me: "Because she's your half-sister."
Danny: "That didn't stop my Mum and Dad."
Me: "Ah, I see..."

I can do more if you want them. My school spawns stupidity like internet forums spawn arguments.

[WallShadow]

Originally Posted by simonmark6

I've got millions:

History revision:
My question: Which British scientist helped codify Classical and Medieval Medical theories?
Kid: Kevin Bacon!

Marking a history exam where the child was asked to evalute the position of Custer at the Little Big Horn:

Custer split his command into three and sent them all over the place. He then led his bit of the command into three thousand howling Indians that outnumbered him more than ten to one. They had more men and better rifles and they surrounded him. Basically, Custer was fucked.

I awarded him partial credit...

Last one for now:
I got into a discussion with one of our more challenging bretheren about why the school was actively discouraging his relationship with a certain young lady:
Danny: "Why can't I go out with Georgia?"
Me: "Because she's your half-sister."
Danny: "That didn't stop my Mum and Dad."
Me: "Ah, I see..."

Classical scientist? Every one knows he wasn't European: He was Hoser "Canadian" Bacon. (as told to me by my Canadian buddies.)

Custer? Kid's smack on target as far as I can see!

As for the last, the burning question in the very rural and developmentally backward area I had been transferred to was as follows:
"If your Mom and Dad divorce, are they still brother and sister?"

[Legbreaker]

Originally Posted by simonmark6

Danny: "That didn't stop my Mum and Dad."

I can do more if you want them. My school spawns stupidity like internet forums spawn arguments.

That's what you get when you downsize the available gene pool....

[headquarters]

got interviewed by a rather nice looking blonde from local radio last time I was in for an ex. She did a lot of takes and tried out different questions.

Hope she edited that one out:

She started of - "When I see you guys with camouflage and machine guns..."

Me: "actually this is an automatic rifle.."

her: " when I see you guys with uniforms and your atomic rifles.."

me : "eehhrr...."

her: " ? huh? " ( eyes wide in non comprehension)

me:" Can I suggest just rifle?"

[dragoon500ly]

Saw this gem at the local gas station...

A rather lovely young lady pulled up in her sports car and attempted to get gas. The pump refused to read her card and she was getting more and more upset.

Being a gentleman (stop the snickering!) I offered to assist the young lady (the fact that she was displaying a rather immpressive amount of clevage had nothing what so ever to do with my offer to help).

I carefully examined her card, and then informed her that this was her library card and that the pumps would not accept it.

[WallShadow]

Originally Posted by dragoon500ly

After Hurricane Katrina visited the Gulf Coast, I witnessed this little act.

Home owner was trying to cut up some downed trees. He really didn't know how to use a chain saw.

After fueling, he stood astride the chain saw and attempted to start it. His first pull didn't start the engine...although he did succeed in striking himself in the groin with the blade....the end product of thousands of years of evolution!

Another example of the gene pool filter being self-cleaning!

[Abbott Shaull]

Originally Posted by dragoon500ly

"My Blackberry doesn't work! Stupid <insert long series of cursing> piece of government issued crap!!!"

"Did you try turning it on?"

"Of course....hay! Its working now!"

I was laughing so hard I almost spilled my morning cup of coffee!

(The owner of the Blackberry was a GS-12)

LOL... Now if RIM could keep the Blackberry up all of the time. Then again I can't complain the last 2 months.