OT - Stupid things

[dragoon500ly]

She deserved kudos for the sweater and micro-mini that she was wearing

As for the library card, I'm still debating that one...

[Abbott Shaull]

Originally Posted by dragoon500ly

She deserved kudos for the sweater and micro-mini that she was wearing

As for the library card, I'm still debating that one...

Well if she was Blonde she then has earned her kudos for having a Library Card. If she wasn't, well she may have tried to color her hair to create the illusion that she wasn't so dumb after all.

[dragoon500ly]

While stationed at Fort Knox, we would often leave the tanks at the gunnery range and head back into main post for the night and take the van back out the next morning and prep for our trainees.

While driving down the road out to the ranges, in a white goverment-issue van, the five of us passed a MP car. One of our instructors, nicknamed Smitty thought it would be funny to duck down like he was hiding from the MPs. Bad move. The MPs did a 180 on the road and lit up the lights and sirens. We stopped, but the MPs parked about 50 meters behind us and pulled out their M-16 and shotgun and told us to place our hands against the roof of the van <MAJOR OH-SHIT MOMENT>. Within a couple of minutes, he had seven MP cars blocking us in front and back and some eighteen MPs pointing a variety of weapons at us.

After having the driver drop his keys on the road, we had to exit the vehicle, one by one and lie spread-eagled in the ditch, until the MPs cuffed all of us.

Needless to say, by this time Smitty was being threatened by his fellow prisoners with every form of mayhem.

Turns out that the MPs were running a hostage scenario that involved a white, government-issue van loaded with five people dressed in GI uniform who had kidnapped the post commander and his wife.

Smitty never lived that one down....

[Abbott Shaull]

Originally Posted by dragoon500ly

While stationed at Fort Knox, we would often leave the tanks at the gunnery range and head back into main post for the night and take the van back out the next morning and prep for our trainees.

While driving down the road out to the ranges, in a white goverment-issue van, the five of us passed a MP car. One of our instructors, nicknamed Smitty thought it would be funny to duck down like he was hiding from the MPs. Bad move. The MPs did a 180 on the road and lit up the lights and sirens. We stopped, but the MPs parked about 50 meters behind us and pulled out their M-16 and shotgun and told us to place our hands against the roof of the van <MAJOR OH-SHIT MOMENT>. Within a couple of minutes, he had seven MP cars blocking us in front and back and some eighteen MPs pointing a variety of weapons at us.

After having the driver drop his keys on the road, we had to exit the vehicle, one by one and lie spread-eagled in the ditch, until the MPs cuffed all of us.

Needless to say, by this time Smitty was being threatened by his fellow prisoners with every form of mayhem.

Turns out that the MPs were running a hostage scenario that involved a white, government-issue van loaded with five people dressed in GI uniform who had kidnapped the post commander and his wife.

Smitty never lived that one down....

Talk about dumb luck

[Adm.Lee]

When I was in high school, I was able to take two years of Russian language (which I've forgotten nearly all of). Senior year, we took a class trip to the USSR (spring '86). We were told lots of things to not take pictures of, like powerplants, military anything, police and so on.

So, our tour bus is sitting at a Moscow traffic light between the tourist hotel and wherever we were going, and one of our guys points his 35mm out the window at a traffic cop's car stopped next to us. Mark drops the camera into his lap and turns pale. "He looked right at me!" The light changes and the bus pulls out, Mark is staring rigidly ahead. A few of us crane our heads around to see if the cop begins to follow us.
"Oh, yeah, Mark, here he comes after us.... Yep, he's pulling around the bus...."
Of course, the bus stops at the next light, and I'm the one on the driver's side looking ahead. "Yeah, Mark, he's talking to the driver."
Of course, the cop wasn't following us at all, and the bus pulled away from the next traffic light without letting any cops on.
I can still hear Mark's voice, "You guys are full of s***."

It gets better, about day #3, Mark realizes he hadn't put any film in his big Nikon yet. Three days of touring Moscow, no pictures for the president of the school's Photo Club.

[dragoon500ly]

While on a river crossing exercise, my tank company was parked in a little German village, waiting on the engineers to finish their bridge. I was sitting on the front slope, BS with my TC when one of the recovery specialists decided to cook his C-ration by putting it in the exhaust of his M-88.

Now the tankers get away with this by our placing the cans on top of the cylinders and closing the grill doors again. Dip-shit shoved his can into the exhaust and then fired the engine up. The early M-88s used a gasoline engine and they normally blew about two feet of exhaust...when the M-88 started up, there was a choked moment and then the can was blown out the exhaust. It struck the right front headlight assembly on my tank, shattering it and spraying C-ration Ham and Lima Beans and tin can all over my TC and myself.

The worst part was not that he damaged our headlight assembly, nor was it that the two of us had to spend several minutes with the medic having tin can pulled out of our hides....it was getting sprayed with Ham and Lima Beans...YEECCCH!!!

[dragoon500ly]

While teaching young Second Lieutenants the fine art of driving a tank.....

A officer finished the basic driving course at high speed, smoothly dipping and rolling over the obstacles and pulling to a halt that left dust bellowing over the next drivers. As the officer dismounted his M-60A1...there was a loud POP, followed rapidly by several more and the tank first listed to one side and then adapted a nose up angle.

To the delight of the watching crowd, eight of the torsion bars on the rear of the tank chose that moment to break.

Why the delight you ask, Armor Officer's Basic had one firm rule, if you break it, you fix it. And there is nothing like raising a supension arm, sledging out the broken pieces of torsion bar and then sledging in the replacement bar....and getting to watch a Second Lieutenant doing it!