OT - Stupid things

[Legbreaker]

The following is an email I just received. Words of wisdom there I'd say...

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.
He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whisky in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance.. never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.
The old prospector --not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.
The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's arse?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."
There are a few lessons for us all here:

• Never be arrogant.
• Don't waste ammunition.
• Whisky makes you think you're smarter than you are.
• Always, always make sure you know who has the power.
• Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.

I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?

[atiff]

Nice one Here's a similar one...



An old gentleman is in his chauffeur-driven in his Rolls, with the driver about to pull into a parking spot, when out of nowhere a sleek red Porsche zips into the space. A young businessman steps out with a grin on his face.

The gentleman lowers the window and says "Excuse me, young man, we were about to park in that space."

The young man just laughs and says "Well, that's what you can do when you are young and fast!"

As he starts to walk away, the gentleman raises the window and speaks to his driver. The Rolls backs up gently..... then the engine roars, and it flies forward, smashing into the side of the Porsche. The young man runs back to his crushed vehicle, aghast; "My car!! What did you do that for?!?"

The gentleman lowers the window again. "Well, that's what you can do when you are old and rich."