OT: You are a Military Spouse if....

[dragoon500ly]

Saw this in the Army Times and had a good chuckle....

You're a military spouse if:

You still have unpacked boxes in your house from your last move.

You know what TDY, DFAS, PCS and partial DITY means.

You keep your valuables in a rusted ammo can from your service member's last deployment.

You haven't needed an alarm clock in years.

Casual wear is PT shirts and shorts.

When people ask you to spell your name, you do it phonetically.

You say 1300 hours instead of 1 p.m.

You know that "land nav" is not a new type of car.

You can name the different candies that come in MREs.

Your patio covering is camo netting.

You can point out Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan on a map, but not Montana.

Your kids say "Hoo-ah", "Ooh-rah" or "Roger that" when you ask them to take out the trash.

[Ramjam]

That would be so funny if it wasn't so true lol.

[dragoon500ly]

You Know You Are a Cavalry Trooper When....

You own a Black Stetson and a saber.

You actually know how to use the saber.

When you are at the Bierfest and finish each liter with a cry of "CHARGE!"

When painting the barracks doors involves red and white paint.

When helpless rocks get coated with red and white paint.

When sleeping infantrymen wake up to discover their Bradleys now sport red and white paint jobs...

When you wake up the other battalions with bugle calls throughout the day.

When you have a squadron formation, you can spot the newbies because they are the ones not wearing Black Stetsons.

Instead of the issue web belt, you wear a black leather belt with a honking big brass US buckle.

And you are wearing a Buck Folding Hunter on the belt.

Sleeping Canadians get deluged with a barrage of CS Grenades at 0230 in the morning.

When the Range Safety Officer enters your tank to clear the breech of the main gun...and when he opens it, an empty bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 slides out.

When you have a roll out alert and a shortage of TCs...and putting the inflatable love doll in a flak vest and a CVC and strapping her into the TC's seat seems like a really great idea.

When you are on a field-ex and your tank breaks down in front of a gausthaus...long enough for the loader to run in and buy a couple of twelve packs....

When having a "platoon meeting" involves everyone in the ready room, at least two kegs of beer, snacks and the world's largest collection of porno tapes.

When your platoon votes Seka as the woman they would most like to find broke down on the side of the road.

When your tank breaks down, near a Woman's College, and it takes two weeks for the recovery crew to find you...and you have difficulty mounting your tank.....

When a fist fight breaks out at the Enlisted Club in Grafenhower, and the MPs will not enter unless they get M-16s and live ammunition....

Finally, you know you are a Cavalry Trooper when your squadron whips the snot out of every unit it meets on field-ex after field-ex; you leave the infantry puking because their candy asses can't hang with the big dawgs at the EM club. MPs cross to the other side of the road, because they know that if they hassle you about your Setson, every other cavalry trooper will arrive to "discuss" the matter. And when you see the ole red and white guidon pass by, your back stretches that much straighter, the ole gleam reenters your bloodshot eye and your heart beats faster, cause when the bugler blows the call....and a thousand voices scream out "CHARGE!!!!" You will rattle windows and let the other line pukes know who really rules the battlefield!

[Panther Al]

And just remember: We cavalrymen are modest as well:

We never try to say we are the best thing since sliced bread. Its just not possible.






We invented it after all.

Sabre Ready!



(Oh, and real cavalrymen wear Stetson and sabre in a combat zone... after all, how can you walk through the streets of Fallujah and not do so? Only wimps and infantrymen feel the need to hide under kevlar.)

[dragoon500ly]

What can you say...

When you're right, you're right!

[dragoon500ly]

For most of the Cold War, the two US units that the Russians got to see the most of were the troopers of the 2nd and 11th ACRs, the infamous Border Dawgs!

You know you are a Border Dawg when...

Driving up the side of a mountain, in a snow storm, in a hard top jeep, is just going to work!

When you leave the border camps for a patrol and you take the mess hall's rancid peanut butter and jam sandwichs, toss them in the ditch and stop by the local gausthaus for lunch.

When hanging off of a 80% slope on dismounted patrol, while carrying a Prick 77, an M-16 and your ready ammunition, and it starts to sleet, everybody starts cracking jokes about "Being All You Can Be!"

While on dismounted patrol, climbing a certain mountain, you get to experience sleet, hail and blizzard conditions, within the first 200 meters of the patrol. In July.

When you have been on top of a certain mountain on OP and its time to continue your mounted patrol and squadron won't release you because their duty radio operator, forgot to write down the time you arrived on station.

When the Hind flys by and the pilot flips you off, the patrol spins and moons the commie bastard!

While the crowd of tourists are oohing and aweing at thier first look at the Iron Curtin, four, muddy, tired, troopers wearing camo face paint stop by, look over the vista and report "Sierra Sierra, Delta, Delta (Same Shit, Different Day)".

When you escort the US Congressman from California; and at a static OP site, he gets out to look at the border, takes one step too far and slides down the mountain 100 meters. On the plus side, he neglects to keep his legs closed and he hits the tree, balls-first! Serves him right for voting no on that year's military pay raise!!!

When you've patrolled the same stretch of the German-Czech border for so long, that you can id all of the Czech guard dogs that you encounter.

By their smell.

When your hard topped jeep breaks down, instead of pushing the piece o'crud off the road, the patrol just picks it up and moves it the shoulder.

When even the BGS won't go into the thicket of thorns because it is too dense, but you will, becuase your idiot of a 2nd looie wants you to evaluate the area for dismounted operations.

When the Squadron Border Officer comes down to inspect your patrol and finds himself face down in a muddy ditch with M-16s pointing at him....and all because he was in the 1 kilometer zone and forgot the password.

When it comes time for your Squadron to rotate for tank gunnery, and the Military Intelligence Battalion moves up to take a turn at patrol....and you run thier candy behinds ragged for the required three patrols. And yes, we did set it up for them to run their patrols in the worst weather in the Alps in twenty years!

and finally....

Ya know you are a Border Dawg when you see the party of Red Army officers climb the looktout stand to look over the border and the first thing they see is a patrol of Border Dawgs, always ready.