OT: Non-human primates and firearms

[Targan]

I am a long time advocate of giving non-human primates human rights, or at least some of them. When you look into the eyes of a chimp, bonobo, orang or gorilla you can tell there is a person in there. A really weird (from our point of view) person admittedly, but they have their own complicated lives, wants and desires.

Sadly they are probably not long for this world, due entirely to us and the damage we cause them and their environment. It is for these reasons that the following video made me smile. I know it's not real, but I wish it was.



Wild chimps with AKs and ammo would be cool. Yes they would probably just end up shooting each other. No they probably couldn't be taught the importance of maintaining their weapons properly. But I love the concept all the same. Boy would the poachers get a big surprise!

[dragoon500ly]

Giving a chimp a loaded weapon!?!?! Although he sure cleared the crowd rather quickly! I forsee a future in riot control!!

[Schone23666]

Targan, I figured you always were a tree-hugger the moment I saw your avatar of a 'roo with a beer!


But could this be done? Imagine...a demented mad scientist with his own army of AK-wielding, jabbering primates with transmitters grafted onto their primitive brains. It'd look like something out of a 50's scifi movie....or maybe a Twilight 2000 scenario perhaps?

Mad Scientist: "Operation Gorilla Storm has BEGUN! Go forth my Primates, and CONQUER! MUWAHAHAHHAHAHAHH!!!!!"

Monkeys: "Oooh oooh ooh oooh Eeeek EEEEEK!!!"

And if you dont' believe animals can be taught, I present the following commercials as proof!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAGLurY7IAY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqoDVr9jtCg


The latter commercial is certainly another idea...rocket and machine gun armed birdies, just imagine....

Hunters: "Oh shit, DUCK!"

[Fusilier]

My face when I read Targan's awesome post...

[pmulcahy11b]

I remember asking in one of these forums, "What stage in hominid development would out ancestors have made usable soldiers?" At that point could they be taught to use a firearm responsibly and take care of it? Be taught fire and movement? Be taught martial arts? Be taught anything more than bashing someone with a club?

[Fusilier]

Originally Posted by pmulcahy11b

I remember asking in one of these forums, "What stage in hominid development would out ancestors have made usable soldiers?" At that point could they be taught to use a firearm responsibly and take care of it? Be taught fire and movement? Be taught martial arts? Be taught anything more than bashing someone with a club?

Great question Paul. IMO the technical aspect of weapon's drills might be the hardest part, but even chimpanzee troops use patrolling tactics that are very similar to our own...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7XuXi3mqYM

[pmulcahy11b]

Originally Posted by Fusilier

Great question Paul. IMO the technical aspect of weapon's drills might be the hardest part, but even chimpanzee troops use patrolling tactics that are very similar to our own...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7XuXi3mqYM

God that was eerie to watch...

[Mahatatain]

Reminds me of the original Planet of the Apes films where the apes, specifically the Gorillas, were armed with rifles.

It works as an idea for a game though - you just have to justify why the apes are now intelligent enough to use firearms. For example I ran a Morrow Project inspired game a few years ago where Alien invaders were breeding (and mentally enhancing) apes to use them as foot soldiers in their war against the humans.

[Canadian Army]

"I'll get a bunch of monkeys, dress them up, and make them re-enact the Civil War..." "Couldn't hurt. Unless the monkeys start hurting people. Which they almost certainly would"

[raketenjagdpanzer]

I have to say, CA, that the subject: line and last poster (you) gave me a laugh...

NON-HUMAN PRIMATES AND FIREARMS
...Canadian Army

[Legbreaker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRQkS...layer_embedded

If they can be used as chaperones....

[Webstral]

It's been done. Army Basic is full of knuckle draggers who can neither keep themselves clean nor execute any instruction to an acceptable standard. Some are hairier than others.

[dragoon500ly]

Originally Posted by Webstral

It's been done. Army Basic is full of knuckle draggers who can neither keep themselves clean nor execute any instruction to an acceptable standard. Some are hairier than others.

Now, Now, quit picking on the infantry!

[JHart]

May I suggest:

Hell Island

[StainlessSteelCynic]

Originally Posted by JHart

May I suggest:

Hell Island

<shudders> Yes, it's a really good story idea but... it's another Matthew Reilly book. I really like the premise he has for a number of his stories but I absolutely despise his writing style.
Having said that. I'll say again, the premise of Hell Island is pretty interesting for what we are talking about here.

[rcaf_777]

Originally Posted by Canadian Army

"I'll get a bunch of monkeys, dress them up, and make them re-enact the Civil War..." "Couldn't hurt. Unless the monkeys start hurting people. Which they almost certainly would"

Just remember if hang out with monkey for a long time your going to get ticks

[Bullet Magnet]

Chimps & the like carrying rifles? Maybe a bit of a stretch for Twilight 2000, but it might work for Twilight 2050 or 2100.

Considering the delays in scientific research caused by the war, Project Zaius may take a bit longer to get into full swing.

[waiting4something]

One of the episodes on Monster Quest talked about how Stalin had tried to make chimp/human hybrids to help increase the numbers in his army. They hoped to breed hybrids with the best of both worlds- human smarts and chimp strength. Neither female chimp or human could get pregnant with the other species semen.

[Tombot]

Originally Posted by Mahatatain

Reminds me of the original Planet of the Apes films where the apes, specifically the Gorillas, were armed with rifles.

It works as an idea for a game though - you just have to justify why the apes are now intelligent enough to use firearms. For example I ran a Morrow Project inspired game a few years ago where Alien invaders were breeding (and mentally enhancing) apes to use them as foot soldiers in their war against the humans.

As a little boy i got my hands on the marvel-comics (i didnt saw the movies at that age) , and i am sure thats what started my love for post-apocalyptic settings (intensified in a different way by MadMax a bit later).
Horse-riding gorillas with carbines, slugging it out with an army of mutated bunker-dwellers in an abandoned desert-wasteland...
None of my childhood-friends knew about that apes-stuff (which i was obsessed with as a kid) and i was the only one, craving for a line of action-figures like for star wars... (the mego-stuff was nowhere in sight in germany).
So i collected lots of "naked gorillas" in the form of chewbacca...

PS:
Targan wrote: "When you look into the eyes of a chimp, bonobo, orang or gorilla you can tell there is a person in there. A really weird (from our point of view) person admittedly, but they have their own complicated lives, wants and desires."
Very well said, exactly what i thought sometimes, but i did´nt found these words. I would even go as far, as expanding that to most non-primate animals as well. Call me a tree-hugger, if you like.
But if you ever had a cat or a dog, which you loved, than you´ll know that there is something to it. And a good video, btw.

[WallShadow]

Project Zaius has a precursor, as outlined in Twilight Nightmares--wherein laboratory-created genetically-modified dogs (Neodogs) are trying to get PCs help to free a 4th Neodog from a dangerous situation. One of them can write, after a fashion, and leaves crayon-scrawled notes to communicate. And they are capable of reproducing (the female is pregnant).